MIL moved in

[Hannabee123]

Post natal depression has really kicked me in the nuts. I will clarify before I begin... I have no desire harming my child she is perfect and kept me alive when I went to kill myself.
I'm just so down all the time I'm a mess and feel like a bad parent. I'm under the care of a crisis team and mental health professionals. Here goes..
My daughter is rolling on 9 weeks old. A few weeks ago I tried to kill myself. I had been keeping my mother in law at arms length throughout pregnancy as she kept upsetting me and becoming too overbearing and generally annoying the hell out of me. When I tried to kill myself my mother in law took the opportunity to become the night in shining armour and move into the spare bedroom / baby's future room. She's been living with us for rolling on 4 weeks now.
At first it was great don't get me wrong. Even now I still appreciate some of the help but this is not turning into a negative for me and here's why...
She's started leaving the house a mess, crumbs on the side and plates and stuff about. She will wash bottles but doesn't do alot to help out. Buys the odd bit of shopping but mostly sits cuddling my daughter.
She's been critesising the fact I'm not doing alot to lose weight. Judges what I eat and drink and is 'encouraging' me to lose weight. Slags off the meals I cooked so I've stopped cooking something which I used to enjoy.
She has her foot in the door and slowly takes over with her routines and the way she does things which I don't like. She put a dummy in my daughter's mouth and kept tapping it with her nail!? Kept not giving her medicine for her reflux so she is pukey and uncomfortable because she does not want to medicate her.
She has taken over my daughter at nights and won't give her back. I was happy for the sleep at first but she has my daughter all night long in the spare bedroom and when we tell her to take a night off she refuses.
I feel like I'm under 24 hour surveillance. She is always sitting next to my daughter's Moses basket. MIL went out today and I took my daughter upstairs so she was with me while I put my makeup on and MIL came back and came charging up in to my room looking for her and took her off into her room.
I feel so low. I feel like I'm unable to be a mother. I was happy for the help but now I'm really not. Do I sound ungrateful or unreasonable??
The health visitor had a word with me in private and said she thinks it's fulfilling my mother in laws needs more than mine.
I'm going to talk to my partner tonight bit I have no idea on how to even begin phasing her out of our house she seems too comfortable. It kills me to see my daughter spending more of her life with my MIL than me.
Has anyone had this!? I feel at a loss

Hope you are having a great Easter Monday and you have had a lot of chocolate. Keep the strength Hanna remember you inspire others in what you have accomplished. Your daughter is so lucky to have you as her mum.

I remember reading this thread a few weeks back but damn i am shocked at what has happened! Keep fighting @Hannabee123 it may seem shit now but it will get better at the moment he is just trying to use anything to get at u because you "dared" to go against him and his hideous bitch of a mother. Once he can't get his own way he will give up. Write everything down that he and his mother have done to you and make sure you keep a copy of any texts, calls and emails. I'm more shocked at how the police and even social services did fuck all when they took your baby from you wtf! I would defo complain and not let that go they could get into serious trouble for dropping the ball in such a way so to speak. The more evidence you manage to get on him the easier it will be to demand supervised contact but I suspect after some time he will give up anyway when he can't get his way. As for his lies about you being unstable well he's gonna get nasty if I was you I would get my doctor to write me a letter stating your mental health has improved and your baby isn't a risk etc just to shoot down his lies about you being unstable. Have you asked his ex to back u up about him? And lastly please don't take the baby and run that will just give him ammunition against you stay and fight. Also talk to women's aid about getting an injunction against him and his family you can get one for free there are charities that fund them Women's Aid should be able to help with that.

Always thinking of you OP. Hope you and your daughter are happy now

*8salt
*
Are you kidding? He and his mother emotionally abused the fuck out of her and treated her like an incubator then tossed her aside and took her newborn baby away from her and made disgusting accusations against her to try and keep her child away from her?

Hopefully she and her baby are safe and well away from those absolutely pond scums who put her through hell and the courts rule they aren't allowed within 10 miles of them both.

Hope you and your daughter are doing well Hanna and the court process is going as it should be!

@8SaltandVinegar that's a bit cunty of you.

Just read salt and pepper really who the hell are you? have you bothered to read how far and how well Hanna has done?and then someone who hasn't bothered to take in the whole thread comments on this and that but not the important things. You really pissed me off saltandpepper I was in a great mood until I read you comments. How dare you try and upset this brave lady. Any way enough of you saltandpepperHanna I hope that all is well and that you and your little one is enjoying some sunshine and that you have a wonderful strong days ahead take no notice of any negativity you are a strong woman who has so much respect

Saltandvinegar ?

That's okay. I'm allowed my opinion?

I didn't hope she was back with (abusive cunt OH), but would not be surprised. I've read and commented from the start. I've been there.

I've reported my own post. Apologies for being so cynical/sceptical

You've done well Hannah, just keep following advice of your professional team who will be on your side.
He and his crazy old Ma. need to be given a wide berth.
Enjoy your baby and look after yourself by making tasty meals to sustain and comfort you. (What good is a mangy slice of toast? Unless it's with a big fry-up)

Hanna hope all is well with you day. Keep being strong, you are an incredible inspiration don't forget that.

My opinion is a strong woman deserves all the respect in the world. It not easy to leave and escape, that why so many stay, men like this want full control. Hanna is an incredible women finding all the strength and never giving up for her child. Her future is bright and for her and her child she will be stronger than any average mum. Some people don't understand how terrified these women are when they leave, this is not a tiff that you return after calming down this is an incredible cruel man want full control and isolation for his wife he was willing to take her apart bit by bit until nothing was left and he was all she had left. If Hanna has done anything for women reading this thread is there is hope if you find the strength and take the chance, incredibly hard but these men need to be informed this is not the way to treat a human being a women deserves respect and nothing less. Sorry I lost my temper with you salt and vinegar but it needed saying Hanna you have my respect.

How have things been Hanna?

Hanna we are still thinking about you and wishing you all the strength in the world to deal with all of this
X

Hope things are going well for you and baby.

Just noticed that Hanna has started another thread about this more recently (end of March).

Have you got a link? I can't find it.

Malicious calls to social services
<a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-serviceswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-services" target="_blank">http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone<a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-serviceswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-services" target="blank">parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-serviceswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/lonee<a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-serviceswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-services" target="_blank">parents/3204130-Malicious-calls-to-social-services

Thank you. It sounds like social services have a fair idea what he is about anyway.

Hi everyone I need advice

So I finally got her back and his visitation was suspended because he was abusive and tried to attack my dad. I've had cafcass involved and people have no concerns about me although he's trying to say I'm mentally unfit to look after my child. He still hasn't seen her almost a month on due to the order being suspended and he's doing nothing but making my life hell. He keeps calling social services on me and I keep explaining he's abusive. Trying to get in touch with my solicitor tomorrow to get an order against him because his harassing is too much. He's accusing me of drugging her and putting her up for adoption and being a nutcase. It's not working in his favour social services know it's a malicious call when I explain the situation to them.

What I'm worried about is what will happen with Contact!? I have yet another court hearing in 2 weeks and I wish he would disappear off the face of the earth instead of seeing her the guy scares me and I'm scared what he will do to her to say I've done it. Oh god if he ever hurt her!

He's doing everything minus kidnapping her.. to discredit me and get her taken off me for his sick abusive control issues.

I'm so stressed

I would speak to social services about his behaviour and say how he is unhinged and how could you best convince the judge that it isn't in your daughters best interest to be around such awful people.

I wouldn't want my child near him. He is a dangerous man.

I think you need to make social services aware of your concerns without sounding paranoid.

Insist that any contact is supervised, there are contact workers who supervise visits and ensure that baby is never left alone I believe.. Though I am pretty certain that this would be part of the conditions of any contact anyhow.

When my exh was so abusive to me /about me and told lies / made trouble, the judge deemed his hatred towards me the factor he got nc to my dd's. Not his dc but still classed as' children of the family 'which carries weight in court. I would suggest his behaviour will come back greatly to smack him in the face when he also gets nc.
If bookies took such a bet I would place one op.
Keep is updated, we are ALL behind you 100%.

You're amazing op, keep your chin up in the knowledge that your baby is being well cared for by a mother who loves her x