MIL moved in

[Hannabee123]

Post natal depression has really kicked me in the nuts. I will clarify before I begin... I have no desire harming my child she is perfect and kept me alive when I went to kill myself.
I'm just so down all the time I'm a mess and feel like a bad parent. I'm under the care of a crisis team and mental health professionals. Here goes..
My daughter is rolling on 9 weeks old. A few weeks ago I tried to kill myself. I had been keeping my mother in law at arms length throughout pregnancy as she kept upsetting me and becoming too overbearing and generally annoying the hell out of me. When I tried to kill myself my mother in law took the opportunity to become the night in shining armour and move into the spare bedroom / baby's future room. She's been living with us for rolling on 4 weeks now.
At first it was great don't get me wrong. Even now I still appreciate some of the help but this is not turning into a negative for me and here's why...
She's started leaving the house a mess, crumbs on the side and plates and stuff about. She will wash bottles but doesn't do alot to help out. Buys the odd bit of shopping but mostly sits cuddling my daughter.
She's been critesising the fact I'm not doing alot to lose weight. Judges what I eat and drink and is 'encouraging' me to lose weight. Slags off the meals I cooked so I've stopped cooking something which I used to enjoy.
She has her foot in the door and slowly takes over with her routines and the way she does things which I don't like. She put a dummy in my daughter's mouth and kept tapping it with her nail!? Kept not giving her medicine for her reflux so she is pukey and uncomfortable because she does not want to medicate her.
She has taken over my daughter at nights and won't give her back. I was happy for the sleep at first but she has my daughter all night long in the spare bedroom and when we tell her to take a night off she refuses.
I feel like I'm under 24 hour surveillance. She is always sitting next to my daughter's Moses basket. MIL went out today and I took my daughter upstairs so she was with me while I put my makeup on and MIL came back and came charging up in to my room looking for her and took her off into her room.
I feel so low. I feel like I'm unable to be a mother. I was happy for the help but now I'm really not. Do I sound ungrateful or unreasonable??
The health visitor had a word with me in private and said she thinks it's fulfilling my mother in laws needs more than mine.
I'm going to talk to my partner tonight bit I have no idea on how to even begin phasing her out of our house she seems too comfortable. It kills me to see my daughter spending more of her life with my MIL than me.
Has anyone had this!? I feel at a loss

Oh that's an idea blubber.

Any advancement in the situation today?

Every hour must feel like a life time.

SS is on your side. Keep strong and keep fighting. You will win this and then you can finally be with your baby. I keep going back to this thread for your updates like many others because I believe in you and I hope that you will have her back soon. But even if it isn't today I believe that as long as you work with SS and womans aid and tge sollicitor you will get there. Keep going on!

My stomach drops every time I check this thread and you don’t have her back. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Stay strong, you will have her back soon

If it's killing us to wait I can't imagine how the OP feels. Hopefully she's busy cuddling her baby.

This thread has actually brought me to tears, I'm amazed and so admirable of how strong you're being. I really want to hear the news you have your little darling back and you're safe💗

He's refusing to hand her over or let me see her. The mother and baby unit is out the window as there will be no baby. Social services are wiping their hands with it and told me to get urgent legal advice. I'm going to see a recommended solicitor in an hour. I'm telling them everything I've been up all night writing stuff down to take with me. I'm chasing social services to be in touch with women's aid as I am ultimatley homeless and still living at my friends house. I will get her back in going to go and put across the abuse, his drinking, his mother's mental health, random people lodgers living in his house, the lot.
I will get her back my blood is boiling. Me and my friends considered kidnapping her back. If we get the chance to visit at all in going to take her and drive straight to the unit.

So he is effectively denying you the medical treatment you need by withholding your baby, how dare he
Hope you get the most shit hot of solicitors and get you and your baby o to the mother and baby ward asap today

I'm so sorry this was my initial fear on Friday night. But i'd hoped going by the book was a good thing.
Fingers crossed solicitor can get things moving asap.

That is a nightmare. Good for you though - you sound like you really mean business. Good luck with the solicitor. I would also consider involving the police but be guided by the solicitor. He just cannot do this and get away with it.

Stay strong OP

I'm going to take a guess. Mil encouraged you to bottle feed (with her hidden agenda in mind). Poor you, poor baby hope you get her back soon.

I wouldn't try to kidnap her back but if you have some 'friend's' who could purswade him to hand her over then I would be sorely tempted.

Hanna I can feel the strength in your posts. I am so sorry you’re going through this, but bloody hell have they picked the wrong Mum to do this to

Bloody well done for writing everything down, that’s a very positive step

What are your crisis team doing?

You can mention to your sol your threads here, it will show a time line of abuse.

I hope the boot will be on the other foot very soon. Hope the solicitor was positive x

8Salt did the court process take long? Did they give the father access?

Hope the solicitor helps you Hanna x

It won't be kidnap. You're her Mother.

I do think the PP is right to ssy that if the F goes to work leaving DD with the evilGM then OP can just turn up and take the baby. The police should support this. A 9 week old baby belongs with her Mummy.

Hanna you should ring the police. He has no right to keep your daughter from you! It's is a absolute nightmare I feel so sorry for you

Is your partner on the birth certificate?

You need to get legal advice ASAP.

There are two divisions of family law, the one that deals with care orders, social services and the like and the other one which deals with disagreements within the family.

Your posts make it sound as if you are going to be dealing with the second kind.

Social services do not always help with these type of cases as they are seen as private family law matters.

Basically in their eyes, there is a disagreement between the two parents over who should look after the baby, the mother or the father?

The only way I can see the Police being able to help you is if the father DOES NOT have parental responsibility (PR) for the baby.

If you are unmarried but the father is on the birth certificate then he has PR and in the eyes of the law, he has every right to keep the baby until there is a court hearing.

Tell me, is the father on the birth certificate?