MIL moved in

[Hannabee123]

Post natal depression has really kicked me in the nuts. I will clarify before I begin... I have no desire harming my child she is perfect and kept me alive when I went to kill myself.
I'm just so down all the time I'm a mess and feel like a bad parent. I'm under the care of a crisis team and mental health professionals. Here goes..
My daughter is rolling on 9 weeks old. A few weeks ago I tried to kill myself. I had been keeping my mother in law at arms length throughout pregnancy as she kept upsetting me and becoming too overbearing and generally annoying the hell out of me. When I tried to kill myself my mother in law took the opportunity to become the night in shining armour and move into the spare bedroom / baby's future room. She's been living with us for rolling on 4 weeks now.
At first it was great don't get me wrong. Even now I still appreciate some of the help but this is not turning into a negative for me and here's why...
She's started leaving the house a mess, crumbs on the side and plates and stuff about. She will wash bottles but doesn't do alot to help out. Buys the odd bit of shopping but mostly sits cuddling my daughter.
She's been critesising the fact I'm not doing alot to lose weight. Judges what I eat and drink and is 'encouraging' me to lose weight. Slags off the meals I cooked so I've stopped cooking something which I used to enjoy.
She has her foot in the door and slowly takes over with her routines and the way she does things which I don't like. She put a dummy in my daughter's mouth and kept tapping it with her nail!? Kept not giving her medicine for her reflux so she is pukey and uncomfortable because she does not want to medicate her.
She has taken over my daughter at nights and won't give her back. I was happy for the sleep at first but she has my daughter all night long in the spare bedroom and when we tell her to take a night off she refuses.
I feel like I'm under 24 hour surveillance. She is always sitting next to my daughter's Moses basket. MIL went out today and I took my daughter upstairs so she was with me while I put my makeup on and MIL came back and came charging up in to my room looking for her and took her off into her room.
I feel so low. I feel like I'm unable to be a mother. I was happy for the help but now I'm really not. Do I sound ungrateful or unreasonable??
The health visitor had a word with me in private and said she thinks it's fulfilling my mother in laws needs more than mine.
I'm going to talk to my partner tonight bit I have no idea on how to even begin phasing her out of our house she seems too comfortable. It kills me to see my daughter spending more of her life with my MIL than me.
Has anyone had this!? I feel at a loss

That's good social services want you and your baby together. Keep going op. Be really honest with them about what your H and MIL have been doing- I'm guessing they are a huge factor in your PND in the first place.

Fingers crossed SW can pull the right strings.

A mother and baby unit sounds like a very good option tbh - you’ll be safe and it’ll just be you and dd.

Hanna try to look at this as objectively as you can - you are doing so well. Look at the shit you’ve been through, you’re doing amazingly.

You can do this. Take all the support you’re offered, the crisis team and SS are there to help you. Not dh, not your mil, but you. And dd of course, but they will help you.

Fingers crossed for you Hannah.
What a terrible time for you.

Great Hanna, hopefully SS will get her for you. Of course she should be with you and you can both be cared for in the unit.

Fingers crossed for you OP

Some family solicitors do work weekends, the courts won't but they'll be ready to get things going Monday. Please get a solicitor ASAP it's really important you get an emergency order, ideally with the support of social services. Then they can't just steal her back and you have some security.
My heart goes out to you.

Here's hoping for a good result op.

I hope things get sorted today

Sorry for the face - fat fingers when swiping on phone to get to

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I'm glad social services are acting on your and your baby's behalf Hanna to get you to a safe mother and baby unit. As someone else posted make sure you keep the birth certificate with you. PND is no reason to take a baby from her mother unless there is evidence of harm, which patently isn't the case here. Wishing you luck xx

That sounds positive hanna.

I know you probably already know this and will do it but try to stay calm and reasonable. Even in the face of all th unreasonable crap from your MIL and partner. Show willing to work WITH social services. Sounds like they are on your side and their priority will be to keep baby with you.

Be completely honest with the social worker about MILs comments about the food you eat etc as well as her taking dd away all the time. Eating right is very important for you. Constant criticism is not.

Thinking of you Hanna. You will be great when you get to a M & B unit. As others have said, please tell everyone how your MIL and her son have ben treating you. I know you will be fine if you get away from them and have proper help.

Sending warm wishes Hanna. You're a good mum and clearly want only what's best for your baby.

I’m So glad social services are agreeing that the baby should be with you. Some day you will be with your dd and you will look back at all this and think how far you have come.

Bless you, I’ve been thinking about you all day. I wish I could do comething to help.

Keep any texts etc that show how they’ve been treating you, you may need them as evidence. Stay strong and I hope you get to a mother and baby unit tonight. X

It's heart breaking to hear you are going through this, so glad you have your parents support. I hope the mother and baby unit gives you a new start asap.

Sounds like SS are throwing you a lifeline. Please please tell them what your husband and MiL have done to you; show them this thread.

You can show the s/s not just this thread but any others that you have written.
I'm praying you get your baby back tonight.

Husband and MIL have a sin to answer for.

Are your parents still with You? How are you bearing up?

No baby and won't be now until tomorrow when the dickhead brings her to the unit. My parents have just left and my friend will be here soon to take me to her for the night and load stuff in her car. My parents will be back tomorrow to take me to the unit.
I'm so upset I don't know how I'm manage being a single mother I don't know financially and I have to find a house as i can't stay at my parents forever
I'm worried about my partner having time with her and repeating this incident taking her and his mum not giving her back.

I don't even know how to think now everyone's left in just sitting in a state my whole life's fell apart because of some evil horrible woman I wish I could of left when I was pregnant I saw this happening and everyone thought I was being an arse

They are making me out to be mental so I just need to show everyone I can be strong and there for her.
I miss her greatly I keep watching a video I took of her smiling and trying to talk to me and it's breaking my heart

I don't even know where to begin picking up the pieces from this I'm so terrified

Hanna you can do this.

You are STRONG. And trust me, when you’re faced with protecting your dd, you will find a strength that you never imagined you could have.

I promise.

In the meantime you need to start thinking of a plan.

Get all your important documents together. Treat this like you’re leaving an abusive relationship. You have tonight, please try to get busy preparing.

I’ll be back in a while with some links etc that might help you xx

Oh Hanna thats so hard, but you have a plan and you'll have your baby tomorrow. Try not to think too far ahead. Things will come together and you will cope. Things will settle once your MIL is out of your life.

List of what to take when you leave

www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship

What you’re entitled to

www.entitledto.co.uk