2 year age gap- feel so guilty and low

[Mrsharper88]

Hello, I’m new on here. I’m sorry if this topic has already been covered but I’m feeling so so low.

My DS is now 18months, it took us a year and half of ttc before I finally fell pregnant with him. We knew we wanted a second child and that it could take years, so we decided to start trying last month and I discovered last week I am pregnant.

This is a horrible thing to say but I am absolutely devastated. My DS is still a baby and needs me. I feel like my stupid selfish actions are going to damage him emotionally as he won’t get the attention he needs and deserves. He still wakes in the night and gets so jealous if anyone else comes near me. I have not stopped crying, I feel like the most terrible person in the world because it’s all my fault that he will suffer.

I don’t have anyone I can talk to, my friends who have children all have big age gaps and I know they will think DS is too young. DP doesn’t understand what I’m upset about.

I’m just looking for some way to feel better about it. For someone to say I did the right thing. Someone to give me positive stories of how a 2.2 age gap can work and not damage the older sibling. Anyone that can make me feel better for doing it now rather than waiting.

I know that is also very selfish but I don’t know what else to do as I feel the lowest I think I’ve ever felt.

Really hope someone can help x

[booboobutt]

18 months apart here and my two are brilliant together! They look after each other, they love each other. They are currently (at 3 and 4 years old) chasing each other around the house dressed up as cats.

It was hard for the first year but they didn't miss out, they still got plenty of attention and love.

[Mrsharper88]

Wow I never expected to get so many positive lovely messages. Thank you all. I’m touched you have taken the time to reply to my crazy hormonal message - and it has made me feel much better. I’m still very wobbly when I look at DS but I remember the advice and experience you have all shared and it’s getting me through.

Also to the poster who called my reaction “bizarre”, I don’t think that’s a very helpful or supportive thing to say. While I admit my reaction might be extreme, bizarre implies I’m crazy which isn’t nice and other users have shared that they have in some way felt the same so I don’t think it is bizarre.

I am so glad I posted on here. Thank you mumsnet users for helping me x

[foodiefil]

I think that was me, sorry for using the word bizarre. You're right it wasn't supportive. I know hormones can have a big effect. Hope you don't feel so guilty for much longer. It's a good age gap. They will be best of friends.

[Mrsharper88]

Thank you- perhaps my hormones have made me oversensitive too. I appreciate you responding x

[foodiefil]

Xx