No baby sitters ever at all!

[toffeetops]

I was just wondering what other parents do for child care? Me and DH have no one to babysit our 11 month old. Myself and DH have looked after Dc from day one with no help from anyone. What do you do when you both need to go to an important event where it's not appropriate to take a child? Me and dh would love a date night even as we get no couple time and to put it bluntly I miss him! I guess there's nothing I can do other then to accept no social life ever for a very long time. I'm just interested in your thoughts.

Have you looked into babysitting agencies?

I’m sure there must be some babysitting agencies that could assist.

Ask a friend

We only have my mum who babysits occasionally. But we would book a babysitter otherwise.

If you haven't got a friend who will babysit, look at childcare.co.uk and there will be babysitters on there local to you.

Thanks for your comments ladies. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them with a stranger and my friends don't have children or experience with kids so again I wouldn't feel comfortable asking and no one has ever offered. Other people seem to have grandparents or aunties falling over themselves to help but I've bummed out there too. Any time I try to go and leave my husband to baby sit he always pulls a face and raises eyebrows as if I shouldn't be going out, so it's easier if I don't bother 😔
At the end of the day I chose to have a child.

We have a couple of teenagers (16 + 17) across the road, one is a St John's cadet the other an Air Cadet - both have been first aid trained and are sensible girls.

They both babysit for us from time to time. Decent money/snacks/pop and wifi password and we get 2 or 3 hours of couple time.

Do you have friends from antenatal classes or baby groups? We used to babysit for each other. We didn't have family within hundreds of miles until we moved to about 50 miles from DH's parents when dc1 was 19 months old. In fact almost all my antenatal classes friends were in the same position, living in Surrey in an area people move to for work.

But i ideally want to go out with dh and be comfortable leaving dc with somebody I trust but have nobody I trust!

Make friends with other parents and do babysitting swaps, saved my life when DC were small (no family nearby)

And tell your DH it's not 'babysitting' when he does it - it's called being a parent

In the nicest way, if there is nobody to trust to look after your baby apart from your DH and want to go out alone with DH then that’s going to a bit of a problem.....

The mums I do know all have relatives to babysit so I can’t really help them out and therefore can’t expect them to look after my dc

Your husband refusing to look after his own child without you being present is a whole different matter..

We have no babysitting options locally. We go our very rarely if my mum or sister come to stay for more than a couple of nights. We knew itd be this way though, I don't feel confident using an agency either.

Book a babysitter! Not hard. Google sitters.co.uk and sign up.

I took my dd into a child-friendly local cafe and one of the waitresses had been chatty so before leaving I said "hey if you ever fancy any babysitting..." and got her number.

Lots of ways you just need to reach out.

I know I know I’m a over protective FTM

When mine were very small me and my mum friends set up a babysitting circle which worked well initially but some people took the piss and it stopped in the end ! Now we have a few 15 year olds that live nearby (£5 per hour) we always make sure the kids are all in bed before we go out though

Any time I try to go and leave my husband to baby sit he always pulls a face and raises eyebrows as if I shouldn't be going out, so it's easier if I don't bother 😔
At the end of the day I chose to have a child.

He chose to have a child too! You should both be allowed an evening of every now and again.

Could you have an at-home date night? Get takeaway and a film once the baby's in bed. Stay off your phones, ignore the housework. Focus on each other for the evening.

Firstly your husband doesn't babysit !!! He is the father. I would let him pull a face.

We asked neighbours and local teen babysit. Prior to that, we put a notice in the local post office. People are only strangers until you get to know them and we spent a while with the babysitter until we felt happy to leave them .

If you don't ask, you don't get. Just ask - they might want to babysit to make some extra money rather than simply for returns.

Well, people are answering the question- if they need/want to go out, they have friends, family, or paid for sitters. If you don't have the former 2, you pay for the latter. We have used sitters.co.uk since ours were tiny.

Your husband is a prize twat for being an arse about you going out though.

Thanks all. He does look after dc it’s just because he’s not that confident looking after dc alone because I’m always there and dc cries for me but that’s another thread!

Blimey your husband has a very odd attitude - is your baby not his?

A babysitter will only be a stranger fo a short time. Bite the bullet and try it out, even if its for a couple of hours in the afternoon to start with.

You need to knock your husband’s behaviour on the head too.

What about asking a friend who babysits for them? I was a nanny for a short time and had a number of babysitting jobs by word of mouth between the mums. Often nannies or nursery workers are happy to do some extra babysitting on the side. If a friend knew them, it wouldn't be a total stranger. You could possibly even find someone to use regularly. I first babysat for a family when their DD1 was 3yrs old and the mum was pregnant with DD2. I babysat for them for years, the eldest is now 16! I haven't babysat for a few years as the kids are older, but we're still in contact and they even came to my wedding. Someone who starts it a stranger could become a trusted friend and regular part of your child's life if you give them a chance.

If you don't have friends or family who can do it, getting to know someone (who will initially be a stranger) is your only choice really if you ever want to go out. As I said, a friend's recommendation might help. Or you could pay a babysitter from an agency to come and spend time with you all a couple of times before leaving your child, so you feel you all know each other a bit.

You’d be surprised how it can work with friends - your child is only small but keep those links with the friends and drop j to conversation a our babysitting and I bet someone will offer...