No baby sitters ever at all!

[toffeetops]

I was just wondering what other parents do for child care? Me and DH have no one to babysit our 11 month old. Myself and DH have looked after Dc from day one with no help from anyone. What do you do when you both need to go to an important event where it's not appropriate to take a child? Me and dh would love a date night even as we get no couple time and to put it bluntly I miss him! I guess there's nothing I can do other then to accept no social life ever for a very long time. I'm just interested in your thoughts.

Instead of thinking of leaving them with a stranger..think of getting to know someone local who babysits so that you then trust them with your baby!

Ask on your local Facebook group for your area for trusted recommended babysitters

I usr an 18 yr old on my street who I have got yo know through doing short trial runs with thr kids til I felt comfortable to leave them.

I now also use a local trainee midwife I found through a local ad.

You dont leave kids with strangers becausr you get to know the person ! Invite them rounf have a chat then do little trips out like leaving them for an hour and going to the pub at the end of the road.

Demirose87
You don't know anyone who has left their child with a stranger? How is that even possible?

Loving the stealth boasts from people who 'would never leave their children with a stranger' and clearly looking down on those of us who do.

What do you fear so much about using a babysitter? You and your children will meet the person in advance and get a chance to make your own assessment of their capabilities (which is more than you will get for the 'stranger' who will teach them at primary school or look after them at nursery). The first time, don't go for long and make sure you are nearby and contactable.

Wait you work full time?

Ask at the nursery if the teachers do babysitting. That's where we got both of our amazing babysitters and DC LOVE their teachers coming to the house.

If you have a childminder see if she will do it or if she can recommend a friend/someone she used - she will know somebody and a recommendation from someone like that is much better than just finding someone online.

You do need to sack up and get your husband to mind his own child, "sadface" or no. Is he not ashamed to be so useless after a whole year?

OP, I would also feel reluctant to leave my DC with strangers. It certainly sounds like you could do with a break, and a night out with your DH, so I feel for you.

As sidsgranny says upthread - will your DC be going to nursery at all in the nearish future? Staff at our nursery are happy to do evening babysitting for us (they charge between £8-10 an hour). For us it's the best way to have a properly relaxing night out - the DC obviously know the babysitter from the nursery setting so are contented and we like knowing they are with someone trained and capable (and who we'll be seeing on Monday at the nursery - which means that they'll likely be more responsible and trustworthy than a one-off stranger). Might that be a future option at least?

We take one days annual leave together a year and go on a day date, a spa usually while children are at school/childminder. Is that possible while dc at childcare?

Also Thursday night is date night, kids in bed, takeaway, Netflix and early night.

MotherofPearl Thank you so much. That’s a great idea, I’m going to try and go back to work when dc is a little older so he’ll have to go into nursery (have to resign from current role due to circumstances) and maybe then I can get to know the staff to put my mind at rest. I know I’m over the top but can’t help it I don’t trust strangers with my precious baby because I don’t know them. I wouldn’t enjoy the night out if I wasn’t satisfied dc is safe if that makes sense.

Allinclusive that sounds amazing! God I could do with that so much. Dc not in childcare as yet, I’m still on maternity leave (I’m off for a year.) I would love it if dc went to bed and even a date night in the house would be bliss at this moment in time. Dc isn’t a good sleeper coupled with teething etc at the moment and we’re lucky if will go to bed before 10pm.

It’s just while dc so small as once older and walking, talking and knows what’s good on I will feel a lot better. I do think the idea of getting to know child care nursery staff and asking them if they babysit on side sounds a great idea.

going

Good luck OP, hope you can get this sorted in due course. Meanwhile maybe try for some at home 'date nights' as pp suggests - great idea.