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Terrible twos / threenager support thread

690 replies

Belleende · 11/01/2018 05:49

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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RubySlippers77 · 14/01/2018 23:02

Bellende you are my new hero. I am shuddering at the thought of taking my two into London on my own...

SnugglySnerd · 15/01/2018 08:04

Well done Belle! Poor dh though!

Our weekend passed without event really but yes the incessant Why? DD is nearly 4. I had hoped "why?" might have stopped by now.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2018 08:16

We're off to hospital today if the bus ever bloody comes. Need to kook at his tongue. I have a stubborn child who bites. Wish me luck

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Spudlet · 15/01/2018 08:25

Well done belle!

We were meant to be going to an outdoor playgroup, but it’s lamping down so instead we’re off to the big scary playgroup in the next village. It has the advantage of a big sports hall for all the tricycles and things, but the older toddlers tend to whizz around on them at the speed of sound so I spend the whole time helicoptering DS and trying to avoid either one of us being maimed by a ballistic Little Tykes missile car. But it's still preferable to all day in the house, so here we go....

Hope your bus arrives soon sleeping

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 15/01/2018 08:27

Good luck to you and to the medical staff (I'm sure they get tetanus shots for days like this...)

Original poster
Belleende · 15/01/2018 08:46

Ohhh sleeping you have a biter? Mine did that a while ago (only bit me tho). She was put in her room immediately. It seems to have stopped, but I am sure will make a reappearance, probably when she goes to nursery.

DD goes to childminder 2 days a week. Got a message from her yesterday
"Our heating has packed in, just wanted to check that you still wanted to send DD.
Response
"We will put another layer on her"

I am going to put my feet up, eat crumpets and watch Judge Judy today

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SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2018 10:34

He isn't really a biter but I think if a doctor puts his finger into a toddlers mouth its to be expected. As it was he looked whilst I tickled and made him laugh. Anaesthetic assessment for risk and if all good, snip.

Also checked his tinkleberries which made his cry but were found to be down so good visit

RubySlippers77 · 15/01/2018 23:07

Glad your visit went well Sleeping! DS2 is definitely a biter, always has been, but luckily(?!) only to me, OH and DS1 - never other children. Trying to break him of the habit at the moment...

A friend from work has just announced that she's expecting again, there will be 20 months between her two. Apparently she wanted a small age gap because "two can't be that much harder than one". Oh how I laughed - she'll learn!!

Original poster
Belleende · 15/01/2018 23:17

I think we have made progress on the getting dressed front. We now dress DD, do her hair and teeth in her room before she gets up for the day. This has been working wonders as she is always so keen to get up and about, she does not resist at all. There is a stairgate on her room though, so might not work for all, but thought this might be a useful tactic for others.

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Spudlet · 15/01/2018 23:30

We did go to the outdoor playgroup in the end - I think DS quite enjoyed it, although he was most vexed that throwing himself into the river was not allowed. Much lying facedown in the mud wailing. Hey ho

On the upside, although he didn't nap, we had a quiet snuggle on the sofa watching Stickman, and that little break seems to have helped in getting him through to bedtime in relative good humour. And he has started saying 'nununu' and I think he means mama? So that's nice.

Swimming tomorrow. Once more unto the breach dear friends, once more...

Original poster
Belleende · 16/01/2018 00:42

Swimming?!? (Shudder)

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User24689 · 16/01/2018 06:01

Belle that's a good idea re: dressing. Problem is my DD often gets up at 5am and I am zombie-like, often with baby attached to boob. But it may well be one of those 'hard now, easy later' approaches so will give it a go.

Original poster
Belleende · 16/01/2018 06:08

We too have the joy of an early riser and a new born. There is a gate on her room and she happily stays in there for up to an hour playing. If I am desperate for more time I chuck her in a banana and some milk and she can be happy for even longer.

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SnugglySnerd · 16/01/2018 06:35

We use that tactic too. Nobody goes downstairs until they are dressed or it doesn't happen (I'm including myself btw!).
We experimented with a slightly later bedtime last night in the hope of a slightly later start today. It worked for DS who slept until 5.40 instead of 5. Both DDs were up half an hour earlier than usual. It's going to be a long day.

DollyLlama · 16/01/2018 07:35

Hi all 👋 my name is Dolly and my near 3 year old is the reason I’m going grey prematurely.

If I bring a hot mug of tea that no one will be able to drink until it’s cold and biscuits that will be mugged by little hands, Can I join? Grin

SnugglySnerd · 16/01/2018 07:56

Of course you can Dolly. Pop your tea on the out of reach shelf next to mine and we can watch them go cold!

Original poster
Belleende · 16/01/2018 08:33

My 2.5 year old woke at 3am and had a hissy fit, demanded a pancake and milk. New born was crying so I gave them to her, and so a new habit is formed.

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User24689 · 16/01/2018 09:02

Belle I now have vision of you lobbing bananas over baby gate like zookeeper feeding lions. Unfortunately DD is still in cot so can't use same tactic. She just wakes at 5 and shouts "MAMA" until I magically appear to let her out.

She refuses to sleep in the toddler bed that is already set up in her room. She says she needs walls. It's a battle I haven't had the energy to fight yet.

Original poster
Belleende · 16/01/2018 10:05

Have you been to my house wolves?

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Chaosofcalm · 16/01/2018 11:10

My toddler decided last night she could not get to sleep. Bedtime is 8 and at 9 we got up had a snack and then DH put her down. She went to sleep in 10 minutes! She is not an early riser but woke but an hour early crying- I think because she knew I was awake.

OuchBollocks · 16/01/2018 11:14

Hello.

My 3 year old teenage drama queen is at preschool. I just had a lovely snooze with the baby :) I love her to bits but the hours when she isn't here seem to pass so much more quickly and easily than when she is Blush

Spudlet · 16/01/2018 11:42

DS escaped from the pool and had a brief but exciting session of running up and down the side, pursued by the life guard out of the pool, and the instructor in the pool in case he decided to fling himself into the deep end. He then insisted on standing on the patio chair in the changing cubicle and of course (of course!) fell over the side just as I was putting my rucksack on, so I ended up dropping it onto the wet puddly floor in order to grab him by the ankles before he landed on his head.

Fairly standard lesson, to be honest...

SleepingStandingUp · 16/01/2018 11:47

Today is full of winge

Ikabod · 16/01/2018 16:57

Howdy! I have a 3-yo and 4-mo and on mat leave. 3-yo:

  • blames me for stuff she's clearly just done - like knocking something over;
  • instructs me to clear up her mess
  • cries and tells me I'm "shouting in her ear" when I'm telling her calmly not to do something;
  • scuffs her feet on the pavement (when sitting in the pram) and tells me it's "a spider doing it"
  • asks for x to eat. Refuses to eat x and wants y instead. Refuses to eat y and asks for z...

The list does go in but that's just a start. Love her but boy can she be a pain in the ass!

SnugglySnerd · 16/01/2018 19:04

Day from hell today. I haven't handled it well. There was shouting. Feel rubbish now.