Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

Oh no, toddlers are so frustratingly irrational. Hugs and wine to you, you need to come out for cocktails too

Don't feel bad sleeping DS who is NT/has no health problems goes to nursery 2 mornings a week and I'm a SAHM (so I can study) Once ypur DS gets used to it he'll probably love all the different toys/too messy to do activities/other children :)

Windchimes Have you got one of those puddlesuits? It won't do anything about the tantrums but it massively decreased my laundry and stressevels. I had the opposite problem DS doesn't seem to feel the cold but then would wail and scream because we had to go home/to get him changed and he'd much rather sit in the puddle.

I'd love a night out/cocktail...but I'm 9 days late

Oooh Cam plan or suprise?? You could have virgins

Secind splash suit, easier when you are happy for them to get wet too.

I think if I had the option of three days id feel happier

I havent got a puddle suit but I really need to find one you are right!

Puddlesuits are the way forward!! I bought mine snowsuits from Ebay for winter as well, they've been brilliant!

I'm sure your DS will love nursery Sleeping and if you've been his main carer since birth then you are well due a little bit of time to yourself! My DC are at preschool for 3 hours twice a week and the time soon goes - I run errands, sort stuff out and tackle the never ending washing pile...

Would love a night out in Brum by the way but we are a good two hours away! Shame as a would be lovely!

We had a scare this morning when DS2 put a coin in his mouth whilst I was changing his nappy, I didn't even know he had it in his hand. He thought it would be funny but then started choking - I turned him face down and we got it out but by then we were both shaking and upset! He had a hug and did a big wee and was much better but I was still a wreck

Sainsburys do a lovely lined puddle suit, dark covered in dinosaurs

oh really? Theres a sainsburys near me Ill check it out thanks!!

How are we ask doing?
Toddler started nursery Friday, totally didn't miss me. Will see how we do next week when its longer and the novelty wears off

Finally cracked and bought a pregnancy test...BFN...I'm 90% relieved and 10% dissapointed.

Oh yay that your DS likes nursery so far sleeping Due to the snow DS has only had settling in sessions so far. I leave him for the first time Tuesday. Last time he crawled into my lap at one point and said 'home?' But then again he also tantrums at hometime because he doesn't want to leave the other babies (and bikes!)

Once he got back back to me he sat on the floor and cried (!) but then once I picked him up he wouldn't go down. I think its all so overwhelming for them, they just don't know how to feel

Happy Mother's Day to everyone

DP (begrudgingly) gave me a lie in this morning and has whinged all day about being tired. No sympathy from me! DCs have been ok apart from tiredness meltdowns toward the end of the day. Hoping for a later start than usual tomorrow but with my luck they'll bounce up at 6am!

My toddler is broken. 6.45 yesterday (tablet given and he played quietly until a reasonable hour), 6.30 today (made dh get up)

Happy Mothers Day for yesterday. Glad you got a lie in Ruby

Mine is broken too Sleeping - DS1 up early yesterday and 5.15am today he's now been crashed out having a nap for 2.5 hours though!

Preschool today and then speech therapy group, clearly he is a very tired little boy... his speech does seem to be improving (starting!) though which is good.

Mine as well. He was an angel all weekend, went across London all day with daddy on Sat and was adorable for mothers day so of course he woke today with a bit of a temp and spent the whole day throwing things! And we live on the 1st floor with laminate He fell asleep about 20 mins ago and is back to being all adorable and snuffly.
My word of the day is def 'exasperated'.

2.5 hr nap????? You crazy???????

Mine passed out cold at 6 pm, I gave him 10 minutes grace and woke him up.

Sleep cold before 8

Did he sleep Ruby?

Just had SEN report and DS, 32 months is apparently working at 16-26 months. I feel physically sick and tearful. I know hevis behind, he can't talk for 1 but knowing he could be up to half his age behind has just broken me

I've only just discovered this thread amd I'm so glad I did! My threenager is a real handful. Everything is a fight at the moment and I don't know how to handle him at all. This morning he had a huge tantrum because he didn't want to go to nursery, then he did want to, then he didn't, then he did...by this stage we were at the nursery gates and although he'd decided he did want to go he'd got himself so worked up he was inconsolable. Then he got upset because we were inside, but he wanted to take his coat off outside. His key worker had to pry him away from me and take him off on his own for 20 minutes to calm down. Last night he slept in his day clothes because he refused to put his pyjamas on and cried hysterically about it until he crashed out and fell asleep. I could have changed him when he was asleep but the thought of the tantrum he'd have if we woke up in the middle of the night and realised he was in pyjamas was just too unbearable!

He did sleep Sleeping, he must have been absolutely shattered from the night before!

Sending you (and if you need it!) for the news about your DS, it must have been very upsetting. Were there any constructive suggestions to go with the info? Any support offered? I hope it wasn't just a 'this is the way it is' with nothing else to help you

DS1 has a cardiology appointment for his heart murmur. It isn't for two months though (first one available!), I will try not to worry too much in the meantime...

Aren't toddlers great Weevils?! DS1 is mainly very agreeable except for when he throws an enormous tizzy. He can't talk much yet - occasional words only - which doesn't help! DS2 is up to the two word stage but never shuts up he is so wilful that tbh now I don't fight him unless it's completely necessary, especially as I have DS1 in the background just waiting to tizz over something and nothing. You don't want to put your shoes and coat on?! Fine, but we're going out, you'll have to stay here on your own... usually it works. That or bribery, frankly!

Just remember that if it was urgent you'd be in sooner. Doesn't make waiting easier but they would squeeze you in if they needed to.

Toddler likes ECHO's done by the lady doctor, he used to just lie there stroking her leg. Not so compliant any more but our cardiologist is awesome which helps

@TheLesserOfTwoWeevils me too. I have my DD in Monday's ( I also have a 5 month old) and by the end of the day I feel totally at the end of my tether and frankly a shit mum. Just having to deal with the constant arguments, talking back, strops, meltdowns, throwing things, kicking... what do I do? When she's not being a little madam she is lovely - helpful, caring, funny. It's Jekyll and Hyde

Please may I join you? I have a very spirited 28 month old

Of course Cat

Thank you. Half of the time Ds is a happy cuddly little boy, unfortunately as soon as things stop going his way he throws huge tantrums, breaks things (usually his sister's toys), and sometimes pulls hair, hits and occasionally bites.

His speech is fine, so I don't think that is the problem. It's more frustration when he doesn't get what he wants.

His older sister was a calm toddler who rarely tantrummed so this is new to me.

He still wakes in the night about half of the time as well.

Sleeping did they give you any reason why your Ds is behind? And, more importantly, strategies to help him catch up?

Broken Mummy today - DS2 up for an hour at 2.30am then properly from 6. Has been unbearably horrid and attention seeking all day. It's only the thought of my WW weigh in tomorrow that's stopping me diving into a pile of chocolate...

I do worry about little DS1 Sleeping but as you say, if it was urgent they would (hopefully!) have called him in sooner. Although the lump in his neck still isn't going down, the GP thought it was glandular but he seems to be better in all other ways? Poor little chap

He was a preemie, on vent then everything in between and onto nasal cannula o2 and 9 weeks (still on o2 at 32 months) so we were always told he would be behind.

Add in wonky chrosmomes, and a four month hospitalization over his first birthday.

We have had lots of support and he's dping great which is why seeing an official delay not just well he can't talk yet etc hit hard.