Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

No sleep here between midnight and two. Duvet at hospice was too heavy and was pulling in his o2 tubes. Took me two hours to figure it. And panel on cot side meant he felt to enclosed and trapped. Gave in after 2. Then he woke 7'30anyway because it started getting noisy. Guess who will get a nap once were home and who won't?

The choice thing is hit and miss ruby. Last night with the PJs worked a treat. Today with shoes and socks, not so much. We had a visitor at the time, so she was distracted and showing off a bit.

Finally cracked it by being really high energy and excited about play group! Yeah! Woo hoo! It will be AMAZING. She got caught up in the fun and went with it.

Sleepingstandingup I don't know your situation, you say hospice? Is your LO very ill? I suppose the terrible twos don't stop even if they are very sick. I hope you manage a sneaky nap, everything is easier after a nap.

No its like respite hospice, sorry i'm sure it came out more dramatic than intended. He has some long term conditions that means we can access respite but have to do some practice runs before I trust them to have him for overnight whilst me and DH do out in the dark together for the first time in 3 years without him mwahahah. He's fine, perfect, just some lifelong health concerns but not life limiting

That must make things hard though Sleeping.
DD1 is being hard work today. She's very tired and also showing off to visitors. Walk later to run off some energy.

Only have the one, don't know any different lol.
I think we all need a 2 hour nap!!!!

Although if he throws himself on the floor one more time today and whacks his head off the floor i'm going to scream. Anyone else got a head banger?

Oh this thread is full of people who understand! Hurrah!

2 DS, 3 and 18 months. Both wilful, opinionated and desperate to do the opposite of whatever I ask them to do. DS1 mostly sleeps through, and doesn't nap. Bed at 7.30pm, up at 6.30am achieved only by the use of a groclock. An amazing invention!

DS2 is hit and miss. When he's good he's 7-7 ish, when he's teething, sick or just out to get us, he'll wake for 2-3 diffcult hours in the night.

Our danger points are - getting dressed, getting out the door, brushing teeth, going to the toilet when there's a distraction, giving different colour cups, plates, spoons to each DS (they need the same colours always!) and if we pay too much attention to one boy, then you can guarantee the other is going to employ the biting, climbing, general evilness tactic to sway attention back onto them.

I love them so much. They are also the bane of my entire existence!

Welcome liskee I like your trigger list. We share many of the same although it seems to change on a daily basis.

Today wanted to keep screen time to a minimum as I suspect too much TV is not helping with her attention span.

So playgroup in the am, pretty good only minor rebellion when it came to leaving. Then what has seemed like an endless session of playdoh. Dd2 is having a limpet day so everything done one handed. It has been relatively stress free, but dear god I am bored.

The reward chart and timers have arrived though. Trying to keep one step ahead.

Mine napped for an hour yay

This is the perfect time to find this thread... my 2.3 year old DD has turned into a little terror the last few weeks.

Kicking, throwing things, tantrums... an almost hourly occurrence recently! Bath time, dinner time and nappy changing causes the most fuss at the mo.

Do toy nappy change standing up or lying down?

So, we had some success with the reward chart. Once again she asks to go in the bath, but then repeatedly refuses to get in. I swear it is like she has figured out that this is one last way to guarantee some peace for half an hour, and she has decided that there will be none of that.

Anyways, deployed the triple whammy of reward chart, timer, and being Reallllllllllyyyyy Enthusiastic and in she got. Worked with teeth brushing as well.

At first I thought yeah, a little victory, but shitting hell, what a palaver to get her to do something that she actually wants to do.

Night all, for tomorrow it begins again.

I SO need this thread. I'm the owner of a threenager and a 4month old. Big one started nursery this week so odd week of feeling all sentimental about him growing up and pitched battles about toothbrushing, nappy changes, getting dressed, not running off on walk to nursery....

Mune's broke. Sleep button keeps unsticking. How go I glue it down so he sleeps for the next 7 hours without me having to replace the dummy he could find if he really really wanted to but won't

My two are tag teaming me tonight. Zero sleep has been had. I have them all day tomorrow on my own. It will not be fun.

Im kicking hubby put of bed in the morning tp sort him. I mayalso need coffee alone at Starbucks. And am out for date night Tuesday with my best mate

So tried fun with a sinister undertone for getting DD1 (nearly 4) to get herself dressed - the clothes monkey and shoe crocodile - who eat/tickle girls still in pjs/No shoes/clothes and mummy keeps distracted (So can't help). Sped things up but possibly not quite as lighthearted as should be.

Still leaving loo trips too late or nearly too late but less wilful wetting. More willing to go when i demand. Low point was just before Christmas when screaming refused to use the loo in garden centre so massive accident in packed out restaurant instead...

Well yesterday was pretty rubbish. Tired 3 yo and tired mummy were not a good combo.
Today has been better so far. Probably because Saturday is my lie in day so I slept until 7 and dh has now taken her out do I've had a lovely long hot shower in peace (babies are asleep).

bellybean fun with a sinister undertone? Like the sound of that but not quite sure how to pull it off.

I haven't tackled the challenge of toilet training yet. It must feel like a particular insult when they use their own bodily secretions against you.

I have been doing lots of reading all of which says at 2.5 they are not rational and are not capable of deliberate malice. But if not then they are amazingly lucky at hitting on exactly those things guaranteed to drive you bonkers.

This am, mixed bag. DH got her dressed in her room (she got a star), but she then refused to put on her shoes and socks for me. The timer was ignored, also just at that moment the post man delivered some new stickers, even the temptation of earning a new sticker didn't work. I had to get completely ready and go out the door for her to cave. Not even midday yet.

Toilet training was actually ok for us with DD1. She just decided to start using a potty and that was that. One down two to go - they might be different.

Ahh, my people.

My recently turned 2 dd is driving me bonkers with refusing to do stuff. Even stuff she likes. She is a master of delaying tactics.

I'm trying to use the techniques from how to talk so kids will listen. Limited success though. Especially with offering closed choices, as she just says no to both.

Following with interest. Slightly alarmed that others are saying this carries on till 3/4?!

Today's toddler meltdown: DS2 refusing to buy/ wear new shoes. DS1 chooses his, puts them on - job done DS2 chooses his and is perfectly happy up to the point where he realises he has to take off his knackered Tesco trainers and wear the lovely new ruddy expensive Clark's shoes. Cue tantrum... gave up in the end. If his feet are terrible in the future he has only himself to blame!

We actually managed a lovely day yesterday. It's easier when DH is here at the weekend though. We are still outnumbered but not quite so much!

Hello joining this thread as I continue to manage my 'spirited' 2.5 year old DS. Also mum to a very Easy 5 year s DD who was a truly terrible toddler so I know it won't last long.
Yesterday's tantrums: my brother touched his ice cream cone (trying to help him stop it dripping)
He wanted to walk and also be carried.
Putting on his coat
Wanting a snack but agreeing to nothing he was offered

General toddler stuff but wearing!

Oh I like this thread. I like the fact no one has really got good advice, just pooling our sorrows!!
I have a six year old and a just about to be two year old. She is so far fairly placid and wants to please, but I'll give it 6 months. She still won't sit down for lunch. Any advice from the book? DS was already much worse at this age. I have learnt with number two that almost manic excitement underscored with steely insistence works for most things. As he get older, I had to talk about the most obscure and tangential topics, like whether the Cephosorolophus was a carnivore or not (fml) and he was distracted enough to ram his shoes on.
busybean has it though with the light hearted with a sinister undertone!!