Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

My 2.5 year old only complies if bribed or threatened. Though I have recently found, like Tawdry, that saying 'fine, I'll just go read my book and enjoy myself' gets her attention fast!

Glad you are getting some help Sleeping. DS1 is a terrible eater too but just fussiness as far as I know, no medical issues. The HV did tell me that he's probably fussier than usual because he has Nutramigen and the strange taste affects everything else - he does have a very sweet tooth so maybe that's it!

Who wouldn't enjoy a 4.30am start Parkhead?! My two are often up and bouncing at 6am but thankfully not much before or I just couldn't cope. OH will very rarely get up first and give me a lie in, I've been so tired I could cry on occasion.

I do sometimes let my two have a long splash in the bath during the day if the weather's terrible, they enjoy jumping in muddy puddles too (Peppa Pig's influence there!) but if it's really cold then lots of bubbles and toys are the way forward!

Of you def need to regain some of that sleep on his days off. Even if its an afternoon nap

My nearly 3yr old can be a terror at times too, mainly if he is tired and he seems to be permanently overtired at the moment! We also have a new baby in the house (4m old now) and I think a lot of it is about attention (can't know what he'd be like if we hadn't had a second though, so who knows, lol)
My main methods are sit ins - when he is throwing himself dangerously about and nearly kicking his sister for example, he then starts kicking her on purpose when I tell him he needs to stop, so I hold him (or just his hands/feet depending if hitting or kicking) he then gets angry at me for holding him and quite quickly descends into crying and cuddling and calms down.
Distraction is a big one - do you want your sister to brush your teeth? OK, great!
And I've forgotten what else I was going to say!
It does feel like a constant battle at the moment though and I wish I could crack the overtired thing.

He sleeps OK most nights and usually has an hour nap after lunch, I've been doing an early night when possible but after nursery he is already too tired and we get tantrums about everything in the evening, anyone have any tips for that?

There is nothing in existence DS abhors more than me having any rest or respite, so that usually works.

i have a 4 year old, 3 year old snd 2 year old. They are as one in their hatred of mummy having any downtime too!

Sorry Parkhead, meant to ask if you have tried a gro clock? I will probably try it once the clocks go forward, perhaps your DD would respond well now though if she's decided to wake up much earlier than usual?

That sounds tough RubySlippers77 I'm lucky that DH does get up with her, although he's not keen on 4.30 either. Dd1 was a terrible eater, used to drive me crazy. Dd2 eats anything, fingers crossed she stays that way.

I have a Huge massive gap between my dds. Until recently RubySlippers77 I didn't know what a gro clock was. My DN has one for her dd. I was to how it worked. My DN was I'd never seen 1 before.

We don't have one yet either but friends with slightly older children swear by them!!

Funny isn't it, how siblings can be so different even though they're weaned the same way, offered the same food etc. I know that I was a fussy eater too when I was little so am not too worried, he does eat certain things but only specific things that he really likes. I grew out of it (as evidenced by my presence on the weight loss boards!), he will too once he gets a bit older.

I'm following this thread!! I have an almost 3 year old who is very willful! (But lovely too)

Ok, so it looks like there is a demand!

So, yesterday was horrific. I have been reading how to talk so little kids listen and put some of it into practice.

I decided to take her and dd2 to the trampoline park. I need her in the pram to do this. She went to refuse getting in. Usually I would try and reason, then get cross. This time I just repeated what I had said, but being Reallllyyy excited about going bouncing. In she got.

We have had a lovely day so far. We'll see how bed time goes.

We have had limited success with the gro clock. I think it might need to be backed up with a reward chart to be really effective.

See snuggly I followed your advice! I think it will take some time to adjust and devise new tactics based on the book. I also need to let go of just wanting her to do as she is fecking well told without having a whole song and dance this will not be happening for quite a while yet.

Oh I'm so pleased you are having a lovely day. I too am adjusting to changing my approach and it's taking a while. It has helped most with teeth-brushing and sitting nicely at meal times instead of constantly getting up and running about!

My dd was an awful sleeper too until we bought her a double bed and now she mostly sleeps so well. We bought a peppa pig duvet set, made her room nice and cosy, set up a dvd player and she watches peppa pig with some milk until she falls asleep and then sleeps all the way through!

I know I'm a bad mum but if it gives me more time in bed I don't care! 😆

Woo hoo, into PJs with no fuss or bother. This time I offered her a choice between the PJs that I know she doesn't like and the new dinosaur PJs that she loves. Worked a treat.

My other half struggled with her this morning, she has been wearing his patience really thin. He works from home, so today I said I would give him a complete break. Thank god it has been a good day.

DD is nearly 4 and refusing to get herself dressed. It's currently taking an hour to get her out the door for preschool. And she's also waiting until she's absolutely bursting for the loo, making sure I've seen, and refusing to go to the toilet so having an 'accident'.

Both she was fine with befor dd2 came along. Tiring.

That sounds shit bellybean At least we have no where we have to be when she pisses about. do the distract and being playful tactics not work so well on older ones? I guess not.

I parented my ass off today and it paid off, but fuck me if it isn't almost as wearing as listening to whining and dealing with tantrums all day.

My DP made me a reward chart. I don't get stickers, I get wine. Woo hoo

Mine is nearly 4 too and she likes all the silly voices and things. She also holds on and won't go to the loo though. She doesn't like to stop what she's doing.

Love the wine reward chart!

I love your reward chart Bellende!!

It is so tiring and frustrating having to stop my two tearing chunks out of each other all day. Sometimes I'm tempted just to leave them to it

Toddler baiting. I like it. Film it, there is money to be made I reckon

I love the sound of your reward chart Belleende I want one!

Dd went off to sleep no problem tonight. Hope she isn't planning another 4.30 wake up.

Everyone slept last night! Yeahhhhh.

Ok, challenge for today. Get all 3 of us up and out to playgroup that starts at 9.30. Does anyone have any tips on how to make leaving the house easier? It seems to take forever and be unreasonably stressful. Winter isn't helping, finding gloves and hats that actually keep her warm and stay on has proved illusive. I swear if you could outsource leaving the house I would do it.

Can't help there I'm afraid. Since our lot insist on us getting up at 5 30 we generally have a lot of time in the mornings. I have even managed to apply make up today!

Love this thread haha!

My almost 2 year old is a nightmare, yesterday she was screaming so bad when waking up from her nap I have her a chocolate muffin to calm her down

The only thing that helps my two get out of the door quicker Bellende is if I ask them to choose their clothes, shoes etc. This is usually a complete fix as I know which they're going to choose in advance (DS2 in particular has the screaming abdabs if he can't find his green shoes!), but for some reason it makes them happy as Larry...

(Oh and they have a limited choice - two tops, trousers, socks etc to choose from - not their entire wardrobe!!)

That and getting as much ready as I can the night before (nappy bag, spare snacks etc) are my tips. Still no idea on how to stop DS2 going for DS1 though, he pulled his hair several times again this morning