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Terrible twos / threenager support thread

690 replies

Belleende · 11/01/2018 05:49

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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SleepingStandingUp · 13/02/2018 18:22

It should be on need not geography

Original poster
Belleende · 13/02/2018 22:54

Well fuck me, that was something. Came to london for the day. Sister said she would babysit so we could get out for a meal.
DD 1 has managed to give my sister a black eye.

We managed a whole 1hr 45 m out of the house before we were called back, and my sister is hardcore. DD1 hysterical. DD2 wide awake. Won't be doing this again in a hurry.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 14/02/2018 01:31

Oh no, what happened? Has your sister had them before?

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RubySlippers77 · 14/02/2018 08:41

Sorry you've had to leave your job Three - between that and the bureaucracy it sounds like you've had a tough time of it! Have you looked at the Motability scheme for when you get the allowance? Might be worth it to help you out with the cost of running a car:

https://www.gov.uk/help-for-disabled-child/motability-scheme

Your DD sounds like a bright and beautiful little girl who's had a lot to deal with - I hope today is a better day Thanks

Your sister will be in need of much Cake and Wine today then Belle?!

Original poster
Belleende · 14/02/2018 11:31

Well my sister tried to give DD a lesson in tidying up. DD responded by smacking her in the eye with a fist full of lego. To be fair, I think DD was trying to throw the Lego away rather than hit my sister. I think this is a family story in the making.

OP posts:
RubySlippers77 · 14/02/2018 18:58

Will half term never end??!

All the usual things we go to are absolutely packed, it's freezing cold and/ or raining every time we set foot outside, and the DC are horrible and squabbling more or less incessantly because they're not getting out enough... DP was supposed to be home early so we could do something with them but got stuck at work, and I am thoroughly sick of being a SAHM with four loooong days left to go till the end of the holidays Sad

ThreeDaysAWeek · 14/02/2018 19:26

DDs been better today. She had a lovely day at Nursery, made a rice crispie cake, a valentines card and painted a picture - not really sure what of but it's red and DDs pleased with it Grin. Don't envy the Nursery trying to do all that with 16 two and three year olds!

Ruby Hope the weather picks up for you, we go stir crazy if stuck inside for too long.

RubySlippers77 · 15/02/2018 14:00

Sounds like your DD had a lovely day Three!

Once the DC were in bed we had a nice Valentine's evening - then went up to bed to find a big puddle of cat wee on it Sad the cat's done it a couple of times before, no idea why but it meant I had to strip and clean the bed at 11.30pm, then more cleaning and washing sheets etc this morning. Aaaarrggghhh! Still, at least we've had some sunshine and been able to get rid of some of the cabin fever with a nice long walk!

SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2018 20:05

How is banging your head off the cot fricking funny????

I'm on bed duty, DH out. Toddler lying in bed banging his head off top of cot. Ice jist shouted at him. He's stood up and is leaning over the cot side, chest against the top which has made him cough. Ive asked him to lie down and he's thrown himself down and whacked his head off the bottom of the cot, and giggled. I've shouted and told him its naughty but he just laughs. I've had to come down for two minutes. I find him hurting himself really triggering.

I can remember hitting myself on the head when I used to argue with my sister and I low level self harmed at Uni. How can he want to hurt himself? We had 18 months of operations and needles and cannuals and people hurting him and I had to hold him down for it all. Why would he want to hurt himself now for fun

ThreeDaysAWeek · 15/02/2018 20:22

Sleeping They can go through a phase of hurting themselves apparently, the Nursery told me it was normal when DD started banging her head on the wall when we put her in timeout. They're looking for a reaction. Best thing to do is ignore it, hard I know! DDs phase only lasted a few weeks thankfully.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2018 20:29

I cant just let him do it though, what if he causes himself an injury? I was so scared on the run up to his MRI that they would think I was hitting him because he was doing it then too. Its like he grows out of it then starts again. I'm somewhere between wanting to cry and wanting to scream. Ive just come out the bedroom as he is awake but hopefully settled but he doesn't go down very wel alone and its already late for him.

Up early tomorrow for hospital appt then visit from lady from hospice about organising a night in for him

ThreeDaysAWeek · 15/02/2018 22:42

Sleeping I can't tell you the amount of times my DD has gone into Nursery with a self inflicted injury! I've not had social called on me yet

SleepingStandingUp · 16/02/2018 00:39

It just makes me so angry! Like properly rageful. And then I cry cos that's what I sui when I'm angry.

Why would he do it???? And laugh about it.

Ggahhhhhhh

RubySlippers77 · 16/02/2018 11:43

Oh Sleeping, it's very hard to watch but I think very common, both mine went through a phase of it too!

Health visitor for us this morning and the DC did their best impression of horrible, biting, scratching feral children. Sigh. At least DS1 waited till she'd gone before going into an enormous tizz as well...

SleepingStandingUp · 16/02/2018 13:26

Makes a change, they normally act like angels dor c the HV and you're trying to explain all this terrible behaviour and they're sat nicely alphabetising their toys. Just remember they've seen in all and if they're honest, probably in their own kids too

Camomila · 17/02/2018 08:45

Sleeping My DS is/was (he seems to be growing out of it) another headbanger. I think it's especially common in boys. He mainly does it when tired, I got told it was a form of self-soothing. Toddlers are odd!
When he gets bored/tired on the bus he likes to keep whacking his head on the back of the pushchair. That gets me some Hmm looks (I try to soothe/stop him as I'm scared of him banging himself against a bit of bus!)

We're off to the PILs today, they're nice enough but its never as relaxing as going to see my own parents.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

RubySlippers77 · 17/02/2018 18:01

Ha! Thanks Sleeping, that's what I was hoping!!

Took DS1 to the GP yesterday, they think the lump in his neck is due to general poorliness, but want to see him again on Tuesday to check that and his heart murmur - he was diagnosed with it at birth but I was told 'not to worry' Confused then overnight DS2 has developed a cough, temperature and diarrhoea Sad

Currently have DS1 in a major tizzy as he refused to nap earlier, DS2 hot and sticky with a temperature of 38.6, and DP refusing to move off his arse on the sofa as he 'has a bad back'. I would be willing to bet all the revenue Peppa sodding Pig has ever made that his back won't be bad enough to stop him going away on Thursday for a stag weekend Angry

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2018 23:59

Hello ladies from a bit too much gin, on my train home, have a play date at 10!!

RubySlippers77 · 18/02/2018 00:37

Good luck with the play date Sleeping!! Hope you had fun this evening Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 18/02/2018 09:18

Well I took paracetamol at about 5 am when the toddler woke, thankfully went back down no problem but head was banging. Shower and coffee and we'll be good to go!!

ThreeDaysAWeek · 18/02/2018 17:44

I am so tired...

DD will not sleep. The last few days she's gone to bed as normal, got up and played until gone midnight, then wants to start the day at 3am, and is refusing to nap. How can this child live off so little sleep?

My head is killing me, and DH has been neigh on useless since Thursday, he's basically checked out of family life we've seen him for about half an hour if that.

RubySlippers77 · 18/02/2018 19:10

Sending Thanks and hugs Three. I'm currently running round like a blue arsed fly as my DP has also decided that family life is too much hassle at the moment. Grrrrrrr!!

RubySlippers77 · 18/02/2018 21:55

Have you tried having a chat with your HV/ GP Three, in case there's any medical reason your DD doesn't want to sleep? For example DS2's coughing is much worse at night and it's really putting him off going to bed. Or they might have some other suggestions to help?

DP has a bad back and is utterly loathsome today - moaning and groaning even though he did it himself by overdoing it with some lifting at work. His sole contribution to tidying up has been kicking all the DC's toys out of the way so he can get to the sofa and park himself there for hours Angry

ThreeDaysAWeek · 18/02/2018 22:01

Ruby It's only been since Thursday, and she's actually asleep tonight (yay!) so now I'm awake to apparently spend time with my not so "D" H whose sat playing the PS4 . I don't even have the energy to ask why we've not seen him properly since Thursday.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2018 09:04

Hope you got some sleep.

Text him?