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Terrible twos / threenager support thread

690 replies

Belleende · 11/01/2018 05:49

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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SleepingStandingUp · 05/02/2018 09:18

I need to get dressed and out. For coffee

Mustang27 · 05/02/2018 09:45

Imvery I have one of those too, it just seems to be sheer destruction all the time. Today mines has had 3tsps of porridge and a teeny bite of banana oh and a vitamin lol where do they get the energy from? Mine does sleep pretty well though. I'm co sleeping still though so if I'm not there he's not doing it Hmm so I get nothing done.

Nannplum time ins sound like they are worth a try for me. I kind of did something similar last night where I just cuddled him and he went totally zen. Under no illusion it will work all the time but it certainly worked better than me being a shouty arse Blush.

Coffee failed me Sleeping good luck on your quest lol.

Good luck spud we are off to messy hands in the library. I'm putting my life on at least two attempted escapes out the door from my son. He is a runner Sad. Remember to wrap up warm.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/02/2018 10:22

Terrible mother here has just zoned dozed on the sofa, toddler I can hear constantly and he occasionally pokes me but im jist so frikking tired. Normally catch up over weekend but Sat I was up early for Uni and Sunday I was sympathetic to DH's rare hangover.

Why an I so very NOT tired when its bedtime??

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Nannplum666 · 05/02/2018 10:44

Mustang - it doesn't work all the time but it does give me the time to calm down and not shout as much as it does them Grin

User24689 · 05/02/2018 11:29

Hello new folks!

Well DH is back from his trip so I now have an extra pair of hands. For his first trick, he decided to clean out the fridge. This involves taking everything out, getting distracted by DD and then forgetting to put it back in again. This included 200mls of breast milk which had taken me fucking forever to pump the night before. I almost killed him.

He had a leave day booked today so while DD was in daycare we switched her cot for a toddler bed and I rearranged her room to make it exciting. Also put a new scooter in it for extra bribery as I was worried she would be sad about cot. Then DH came down with apparently horrific virus in the afternoon and went to bed at 4pm so I have had to do daycare run with baby in 35 degree heat, dinner, bath both kids and put them to bed by myself AGAIN and now I'm sitting here waiting to see how long it takes DD to figure out she can get out of the cot and come and join me.

Any ideas about where I should hide DH's body?

SleepingStandingUp · 05/02/2018 11:45

Somewhere near the set of Home and Away,they're always finding random bodies

Spudlet · 05/02/2018 12:20

Under the patio is the classic. But if you have any pigs locally, they'll get rid of most things fairly quickly...! Grin

We survived outdoor play! DS very much enjoyed the Hokey Cokey especially - so much so that we were still doing it for some time after everyone else had finished 😂 Now nice and warm at home, feeling like a super-Mum because I actually thought to take a flask of hot chocolate with us for in the car on the way home. (Could this be helpful for the poster whose dd seemed to be suffering from the cold on the school run?).

We are now staying inside for the rest of the day - it's brass monkeys out there!

SleepingStandingUp · 05/02/2018 12:35

My child is napping in the bus. Costa fo coffee because Starbucks wakes him up. Not cos its noisy but because his inner spidey sense senses he is missing out on his favourite coffee shop

ThreeDaysAWeek · 05/02/2018 13:36

Hey guys, also exhausted! DD seems to be suffering with some demon cough/cold thing that only affects her at night!

Bribed her to put her toys away with ice cream and when that didn't work I put her favourite toy (ninky nonk) in my wardrobe and told her she could have it back when she put all her other toys away. She cried a bit but it worked, and I now have a tidy living room and she's got her Ninky Nonk back.

SnugglySnerd · 05/02/2018 19:22

I'm ill. I can't face tomorrow. I want to stay in bed. Sorry I'm full of self pity too as you can tell. CBeebies all the way tomorrow I think!

Spudlet · 05/02/2018 19:29

Snuggly Do it. It won't do any harm for a couple of days and it will let you rest a bit. Being ill with babies or toddlers is hell on wheels.

I hope you feel better soon!

Snoopyokay · 05/02/2018 21:18

Hope you feel better soon snuggly I feel like the worst parent ever DD has watched about 8 hours TV today as I've been so ill and couldn't face doing anything. Hope tomorrow is a better today for me and everyone else!

SnugglySnerd · 06/02/2018 07:36

Thanks both. I have lots of biscuits and dh made some lunch last night and left it in the fridge so I don't have to think about it.
DD is quietly colouring - hope it lasts!

SleepingStandingUp · 06/02/2018 10:24

So DS woke screaming at 11.30. Dh went up, couldn't find dummy, came down to get a new one, went back up so he had a good old scream but went down immediately. Slept til 5!!!!!! Thats like 4 hours solid sleep for me. At 5 ,I gave him his water bottle and a second dummy and he slept til 9. So theres another 3 hours sleep for me thank you very much!!!

ThreeDaysAWeek · 06/02/2018 18:14

DD told Nursery that I don't let her watch TV then proceeded to name every member of the paw patrol, all the Peppa Pig characters and to dance like "shimmer and shine"...sounds like a child that watches TV to me Grin

She also told her keyworker (again!) that grandma doesn't like daddy...

Original poster
Belleende · 06/02/2018 18:37

Sweet Jesus ladies, just dealt with the most epic meltdown, she really scared me, she was completely out of control. She hurt herself, hurt me and threw everything she could get her hands on. No particular trigger, she just wanted everything and then the opposite of everything, switching between them every 10 seconds or so.
I would happily have given her the crystal if it would have calmed her, but could not be comforted. Eventually raged herself asleep.

She had another meltdown at the childminder today as well.

She is just so inconsistent. One day top form, great craic, the next just completely angst ridden and crazy. I can't see any underlying reasons for the difference, although teething may play a part. Any tips on how to manage epic meltdowns of this scale?

OP posts:
SnugglySnerd · 06/02/2018 19:18

That sounds awful Belle. No advice I'm afraid but I hope you are both OK.

Well we survived the day and I feel a lot better. I suspect dd1 is coming down with something though. Her behaviour and appetite have both worsened throughout the day which is often a sign of something brewing...

Mustang27 · 06/02/2018 19:43

No tips Belle just hugs and wine being sent your way. It's so hard isn't it? It sounds dreadful

Today I have decided to bin toys (just sticking them in a bin bag then il put them away for a few days) if he lays a finger on the baby so 3 playdoh tubs and 3 of his favourite trains have made it to the "bin" and lots of tears. Obviously he was well warned and attempts of distraction and cajoling failed so I felt like I had no choice. This was after about the 10th time of him hitting and me putting him to bed, trying time ins and trying to explain why he shouldn't hit his brother. SadSad I'm aware that asking a 2yrs and 8mth old to fathom the hit your brother lose a toy thing is probably too much but I'm running out of ideas. I'm going to gave to bite the bullet and organise some childcare for a morning a week I need a break Sad and clearly he needs a change of scenery other than me.

SnugglySnerd · 06/02/2018 20:29

Mustang that sounds so hard. At least he's upset about losing a toy though. I tried it with dd1 and she just didn't care! I do hope the hitting stops soon.

ThreeDaysAWeek · 07/02/2018 08:46

Just had the most awful morning with DD. She didn't want to wake up this morning, so had to drag her out of bed. She then didn't want to get dressed, almost strangled herself on her Nursery Jumper as she kept pulling at the neck. She screamed and screamed until she had a bad asthma attack.

Once I'd finally calmed her down, I gave her a banana (I don't usually feed her before Nursery but she was so shaky I thought something healthy but sugary would help) and got her in the car.

Then when we got to Nursery she kicked me getting her out of the car and started screaming again...

Embarrassingly I couldn't get her out of the car as she got herself into the smallest place possible (in the footwell underneath the seat) so had to go ring the bell and the manager and the apprentice came down and persuaded her out of the car with chocolate milk and the promise of toast and honey on her porridge if she came inside (with or without mummy) which worked sometimes I'm grateful she loves food! I was late for work as the staff wanted me to make sure she settled ok so took me to the office to check the CCTV and watch her. Thankfully once she was actually in the building and saw her little friends she'd completely forgotten me. And my boss has a 3 and a 4 year old herself so understands what young children can be like.

Manager is keeping an eye on DD as it's unusual behaviour for her, she usually goes in without a backwards glance at me, and I'm prepped to dash off and get her if needs be. Just having a cup of tea before I do some actual work!

ThreeDaysAWeek · 07/02/2018 08:46

*underneath her car seat that should say

SleepingStandingUp · 07/02/2018 13:08

Survived toddler dentist...

Camomila · 07/02/2018 18:23

Congrats sleeping If its anything like toddler GP I can imagine the stress of toddler dentist...

I was also a good mummy today and went on a very long bus journey to the good plaground with the massive slide (I bribed DS with snacks and stickers to go in the pushchair)

Also, I'm feeling very broody...on one hand it'd be madness to have a baby before September 2019 (end of my MSc) but on the other hand 'Aw, babies...'

SleepingStandingUp · 07/02/2018 18:52

Haha yeah I signed up for OU degree so 6 years and DH say we can try for a new baby. Erm, timing??

Screamed at mouth poking but didn't bite. managed to hold him thoroughly and he charmed them before and after

Snoopyokay · 07/02/2018 19:33

What age do you take them to the dentist? I'm too scared to try for another need to convince my OH to stop at one haha!