Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

Sorry Sleeping think I'm the only one awake. Insomnia has kicked in.

Hope you're ok?

Feeding time here. Have you tried a Ewan the sheep or similar. Really grown women shouldn't be hiding in toilets in the middle of the night singing nursery rhymes😉

Fell asleep in the armchair, oops! The cat seemed happy though as she was curled up on my knee using my dressing gown as a blanket

I know right but floorboards creak so didnt want him to know I'd moved. I cracked and gave him so baby crack I mean teething gel. Meant to be weaning him off it but after an hour of screaming and crying and whinging its currently working . Bad lame mom for giving in

Camomila - I have been totally the same, never quite understood the people who were distraught about their baby leaving them, I was thrilled to have some time to myself!!

And the results of the 3rd night of controlled crying - 35 minutes of crying at bedtime, asleep at 7.45pm, woke at 3am for feed then 30 minutes of crying then awake for the day at 7.30am!

Think we're winning!!

Woo hoo Buffy, one for the parents.
I live for the two days my toddler goes to childminder. I just would not have enough energy to be a good mum for the rest of the week without it.
Today we had a lie in to 5.30! Yeah.

We did at least sleep t 7.30, he's perky as, im knackered and no Daddy tonight so he'd mine all mine til Saturday morning

Big well done to little three!!

Would your DS like a nightlight Sleeping? DS1 is obsessed by his Peppa Pig one at the moment (this one: www.amazon.co.uk/Peppa-Pig-Changing-Illumi-Mate-Childrens/dp/B0170FOCT2/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=peppa+pig+nightlight)&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1516967050&sr=8-2. He will go to sleep just holding and gazing at it - I had to pull it out from under his tummy last night, he'd fallen sleep face down on it! We have no Daddy tomorrow night (off to the pub to plan a stag do, how much planning can it take?!) so am hoping Peppa will still work the magic by then.....

TBH I wasn't ready to leave mine at 1 year old Belle (and as it turned out, didn't have to as I was made redundant before going back to work after maternity leave!) but with hindsight I wish I had been able to go back to work, I think two days a week in nursery would have done them and me the world of good. And I could have talked to adults! And drunk tea whilst it's hot!! And eaten my lunch without someone climbing all over me or demanding to watch the Gruffalo!!!

Ha Camomila, my DC are definitely always grubby and sticky by the end of the day, not helped by a love of jumping and sitting down in muddy puddles wherever they can find them!!

Hello all! Another broken night sleep here and trip to the doctor for DD who is constiopated due to avoiding fruit and veg at all costs! Why is she still wanting a night feed at 2 years old? Because she doesn't eat!

He has his angelcare light in for the monitor and a stars night light for falling asleep, so the room isn't too dark. Think something was hurting last night and i'm trying to wean him off his teething gel addiction.
Still trying to get my monster into nursery bit school are sooooo slow recruiting for a 121.
Toddler is currently in nappy and woolly hat eating left over breakfast cereal (dry so not gross) and watching back-to-back Mr Tumble. This is why he needs nursery hahaha

I think putting your babies in childcare is very dependent on the child. My DD1 started going for taster sessions from 6 months, she was totally ready, didn't even throw me a backwards glance (it did help that the childminder lived next door).

DD2 seems to be more of a limpet baby, so I am glad I am taking the full year leave, but at least I know our childminder really well and trust her implicitly when the time comes. I do think kids benefit from being exposed to different environments and people.

Ds goes to a childminder one afternoon a week, and it's the difference between sanity and not some weeks. I adore him, but I need the break and he loves it, he drags me to her door and runs in without a second look.

I worry I held him back by not going back to work - perhaps if he'd gone to nursery, he'd be talking by now.

He has been driving me crazy this morning, sooooooo whingey, and he discovered the joy of turning the hoover on and off as I'm using it (it's a Henry so he can sneak up on me). Have some friends coming over later so hopefully that will keep him happy this afternoon?

Would she drink a chocolate milkshake, snoopy. Basically banana milk and natures finest prunes in juice blitzed. My wee boy really liked it and it helped.

My wee boy just stopped out of the blue night feeding then it was about a month after that he gave up boobie all together and his appetite was minuscule has improved though. He was 2yrs 2mths when he stopped.

Spud don't think like that they all develop differently. My 2.5yr old is very articulate and never even spebt more than a couple of hours with a grandparent let alone childcare/nursery. I'm seriously considering it now baby is here lol just so I don't have to deal with him constantly trying to poke and prod the poor wee mite.

Agree with Mustang Spud I don't think it makes a difference, my DD isn't at nursery yet and her speech is really good. I think it's because my other half is a chatterbox haha.

Mustang unfortunately she only wants milk or water but can sneak some prune juice into the milk! Hopefully she will give it up soon too it's good to hear your son did - gives me hope haha!

My child is never a reassuring example but at 2.8 he's not talking at all so they real are ask just on a spectrum of development moving at different speeds at different times

Belatedly noticed the moon comments - mine also has a thing about the moon and always gets cross when it's out in the day 'Mummy it's not supposed to be out in the day'.
Haven't come out with a satisfactory response yet...

PS Needless to say the moon's behaviour is clearly my fault!

Spud If it helps my DD is 2.7 and has a severe speech delay, she only started saying 3 word sentences a month or so ago and still now it's mostly factual when she says stuff no proper conversation just stuff like "look moon there" the bloody moon again She's been at Nursery since she was 13 months old, and has moved rooms with her same aged peers so I'm sure it's nothing you've done wrong.

Was so good to be back at work today. I'm exhausted as I'm still not 100% better myself and getting up at 6am will do that to you. Think DD was glad to be at Nursery too, she practically bounced in this morning.

DD also wasn't happy that the Nursery staff couldn't make it snow though today. Was hilarious hearing them tell me about how she kept pointing out of the doors into the garden and saying "want snow" and then when one lovely lady told her she couldn't make it snow, DD threw everything she was holding and herself onto the floor and cried for 10 minutes because she "wants snow"...odd child

Today was drama-free but exhausting. The constant Why? questions have done my head in a bit.
I was looking forward to some respite with dh over the weekend but he just reminded me he's going out tomorrow afternoon.

Only awake once for half an hour and Daddy got up with him this morning. Shower time. Lunch with hubby as Nanny is babysitting for the 3 hour gap between feeds. Then cocktails and dinner out for me with my moms. We will behave hahaha. First time we gor home at 3 am. Were all SN moms of toddlers or under and don't get out a lot so to the bemusement of our husbands ended up out clubbing!!

Ugh.

DH has gone to America for a week leaving me with the two year old and the 12 week old.

Today was day 1. I woke up and realised I'd left my set of keys in glovebox of car and DH had locked both car and house with us in it. Had to call locksmith at 7am. $150 down.

Exhausting day just finishing. Bedtime disaster as trying to read DD stories with DS whinging and scrabbling at my boob. DD then complaining she is hungry ( has just put away massive portion of lasagne, so definitely bullshitting) and went to bed crying which she never does.

DS now bfing to sleep thank god. People with a toddler and baby... How the hell do you manage when on your own?? Any tips are welcome!

Am going to put DS down now and pour wine.

wolves hang in there. Bed time is the hardest. I tend to feed the baby whilst putting the toddler to bed. Got a bean bag in her room to help. Also instead of reading stories get her to do where's Wally, she holds the book and turns the pages so I don't need 3 hands.

For dinner, I have a baby Bjorn carrier. It is really easy to get the baby in and out of, so I can cook with her in there. There are some pretty decent toddler ready meals if you want to make life easier on that front.

Also, I am using the TV at key points where I need the toddler to stay put for 10mins. It is tempting to have it on all the time but she then loses interest when I need her occupied the most! If I am really stuck, I build a tent with a blanket over some chairs. That usually gets me 15 or so minutes peace.

Apart from that lots of deep breaths and swearing

Thanks Belle. Good ideas. DS is asleep now but I can still hear DD singing the Upsey Daisy song from in the night garden. Hoping she falls asleep soon rather than loses interest in singing and shouts for me!

The thing with feeding DS while doing bedtime is that he is such a fussy feeder that time of night. It is his only really difficult time of day. I'm wondering if I should just keep DD up later until he is asleep. It would mean her staying up til 7.30/ 8pm though which is late for her. We don't have Where's Wally but we do have some nursery rhyme books that she can do herself so might try that tomorrow.