Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

More sleep has helped my negotiation skills: I got my 3 yr old to try a lychee by telling him they were a special treat just for mummy.... instantly attractive :)

Anyone elses child obsessed with the moon?

Out walking earlier and DD was talking to the moon, and then she turned round in her pushchair, pointed at the moon and said "come moon, hometime"

Quite funny really

Not as poetic as the moon but DS2 has an obsession with toilet roll. If you don't keep it away from his eager clutches then the house pretty soon looks like a bunch of Andrex puppies have been running riot!!

Really hard day today, had a flu relapse and feel rubbish, achey and shivery. So much hoping for a good night's sleep...

Hope you're ok Ruby

If nothing else this thread is a great reminder that there are always others worse off. Really feeling for all of you struggling with flu.

5am start again and she is in full flow but no wakeups in the night. I think she might be having a development leap, she has been all over the place. Yesterday was the perfect child, even tidied up. We shall see what today brings.

Zen baby accompanied me to a community meeting last night, not a peep out of her. Windy again this am, but at least we all had some sleep.

Stay strong ladies. Spring is just around the corner.

Awww Ruby I had flu while looking after a one year old, it was horrendous.

Last night's controlled crying:
Went down without a peep at 7.30pm so I thought we'd had a miraculous result. Woke up at 8am and cried for 90 minutes :( But then slept until 7.40am with one quick feed at 1am (straight back to sleep after). I also heard cheerful noises from him at 4.30am but he went back to sleep on his own.

So overall I think we're winning but fingers crossed for less crying tonight!

Sorry Iv still not managed to read all the thread.

I'm really struggling with toddler being aggressive towards my 3 week old. He has already slapped him twice this morning and tried to sit on his head. Iv tried distraction and Iv tried including him as much as possible but unfortunately the baby needs fed and cleaned. I'm absolutely exhausted by it. Im trying to be a good parent but my fuss is getting shorter and I'm just get shouty myself. Feel like I'm failing them both.

Oh in a side note my newborn is a really content baby and actually demands a lot less of my time than his big brother ever did. So I am putting time aside to play and I always engaged with him as much as I can.

Any advice on how to survive this and maybe help lessen/stop the behaviour would be brilliant.

Feel better soon Ruby and rest as much as possible. As the lovely HV said to me when the dts were born: a sandwich is a perfectly good meal and CBeebies is a perfectly acceptable activity!

DD1 is obsessed with the moon too. We always have to look outside and say goodnight to it at bedtime. It's really cute.

Dcs have all been strangely cooperative yesterday and this morning. It's too good to be true so it won't last...

Mustang I allowed DD1 to choose a snack and something to watch on iplayer while feeding the dts. That way it felt like a bit of a treat. She was ok with that. They are nearly one now and she still gets annoyed if I have to interrupt playing with her to deal with crying/change a nappy. I'm not sure what the answer is to that.
Please don't feel you are failing them though. It's a bloody hard adjustment for you all and you will all soon find your way and

Oh Ruby, I am just getting over the flu as well and it is the pits. Take paracetamol and drink lots of water, and rest if you can! We have watched so much cbeebies this week I feel like my head might explode from all the horrendous cheerfulness, but needs must when you're ill.

I hope you feel better soon!

Mustang do you do time out or anything? I think being stripy and moody is normal but I think you need to deal quite strictly with him hurting or harming the baby. Time out, toy taken away, whatever works .

Whay temperature do you all calpol? We've had a minor fever all week with tonsilitus, though we'd got rid of it as he was ok overnight but he's 37.7 this morning. Just conscious he's had calpol for a c week

Erm, I hardly ever take the temperature of mine but go by his behaviour - if he feels hot and is lethargic then he gets Calpol.... But he's a pretty robust child and doesn't often get ill so I only end up giving it once in a blue moon.
If he's fine in himself I wouldn't give him Calpol.
I'd err on the side of giving it to the baby if he's grumpy and unsettled as it's harder to tell by their behaviour what the problem is.

I only give calpol if DD is overly sleepy and warm or unless told to do so by one of her consultants who often say "give calpol and then do x,y and x".

DD had a nightmare around 1am, screamed for 10 minutes while I held her and rubbed her back and then when she calmed down she didn't want to sleep. So I left her playing in the dark and went back to bed, but I can't sleep while she's awake. She finally took herself back to bed at 3.30am then woke up at 5.30am as she'd lost her dummy sodding dummy is going in the bin and then wanted to start the day at 6.30!

We tend to give calpol based on the level of general grottiness. Lots of snot, or bright red teething cheeks, grizzling and sadness generally equals a bedtime dose, with further doses if he wakes in the night and can't be comforted with a cuddle (something which generally only happens when he's ill). I hardly ever take his temperature, to be honest.

Super proud of DD!

She was born with a hip dysplasia and only learnt to walk aged 2. Today she managed to walk over a mile to the shop without getting in the pushchair once! It took us over an hour to walk it (can do it in 10 mins with her in pushchair) but I'm so proud!

Wow! Well done Three's DD!

That's so lovely Three. Well done to you both.

I am quite stern with him but it doesn't seem to work he just laughs . Hah the only thing il find my way too is the looney bin if this keeps going lol. Thank you for the kind words.

Well done your DD three!

This thread has reappeared in a timely fashion. My DD is refusing to pick up her coat and I absolutely cannot give in to this, she has been such a shit challenge lately.

Oh well done little three!!

Well done mini three. My niece has dysplasia was in the spica cast for 6 months, she is now heading towards 6ft!

Mustang we are in the same boat but I think our toddlers are dealing with it differently. I always vocalise when I put the
Baby down, that its time for me to be with DD1 now, and she seems to appreciate that.

Any aggression towards the baby is a straight to the bedroom offence, no warnings and she has to apologize to the baby after. That said we have not had many incidents.

We had another lovely day today courtesy of calpol. I was very cautious about giving dd1 calpol. But she had very subtle teething symptoms, which would then result in massive teary meltdowns. My OH called it, and we ended up giving ibuprofen prophalactically. I think she is now teething her last so am using it again, and it is working. Averted meltdown this am, and we then did a really long walk. I am now much more of the school, if in doubt, dose.

Belle Glad you had a lovely day.

DD had a booster injection today (a blood test showed she had no immunity to certain diseases despite me getting the vaccines at the right times!) as well as the walk but she was so good. She didn't even flinched and thanked the nurse after too.

Doubly proud today .

Three Aw that's so sweet her thanking the nurse!

We've had a good day today, spent the morning in town and went out for lunch...we'd been stuck inside since Saturday due to DS having a high temp plus horrible weather.

Bumped into a playgroup friend while I was carrying DS home all smeared in pizza and me looking all frazzled Is it just my DS that looks like one of Fagins gang by the end of every outing?

Going to visit a nursery next week, just for 2 mornings a week so I can study and do house work...poor DS I cant wait to get rid of him for a bit :)

Ds has spent the day needing to touch me or the DVD player. DH stated in tonight so did bed and now I'm refusing to do my uni work cos my foot hurts

Camomila I'm exactly the same, love sending DD to Nursery. It's even better when I get a day off work and she's still in!

Back to work tomorrow, can't wait missed being there. Haven't been for 2 weeks, as I was ill and then DD was ill.

He keeps waking up crying. Im in the loo singing twinkle twinkle. Put of sight but sp he can hear me