Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

Yeah not going to work with a fussy feeder. I Have started to introduce bottles of ebm. She has taken to them very well, you could consider that, I find it easier to multitask when bottle feeding.

Yeah DS has refused a bottle so far. I'm going to make a concerted effort to get him going with that while DD is at daycare this week, it would make life a lot easier! It is hard to express with a 'helpful' toddler around so progress has been slow.

DDs been a little today, probably because we had an awful nights sleep, up three times last night - She bit into a handbag in matalan, we'd only gone to buy wellies for Nursery.

She then screamed all round the supermarket because I wouldn't buy the Peppa pig pasta.

And to top it off, when at home I was putting the shopping away and she climbed onto the armchair and pushed the cat off the back.

DH is working a bit of overtime this weekend, so I'm exhausted.

Sounds like a tough day three! I'm counting the hours til bedtime as DD hasn't napped today. I'm knackered!

Sorry to hear you've had such a tough day three.

DD1 has been awesome today. It would have been a nice day had I not been up half the night with DS and his teething. Poor love. He's already woken up once this evening. He is miserable. Not expecting much sleep tonight either...

She bit into a handbag in matalan, we'd only gone to buy wellies for Nursery.

Oh three, they just do the most ridiculous things don't they! Hope tomorrow is a better day.

I have a poorly baby too, been up since 3am with DS who has a blocked nose :( He has had to sleep upright on my chest. I'm going to need all the coffee and Berocca today.

I've been sitting up with a poorly baby again. Of course he seems fine this morning but I feel shattered!

Sorry to hear there have been some rough nights - it's so hard the following day when your DC can nap to catch up but you can't!! Sending you all and

DS2 had a bad night on Friday but last night all was quiet... it was me and DP who were up not feeling well! We both seem to be coming down with a cold - sniffly noses, aches and pains, temperature - not sure how to occupy the DC today that won't be too strenuous...

On the subject of tantrums, we went to a secondhand baby stuff sale yesterday and DS1 howled till we bought him some George Pig wellies. They're too small for him but for £2 I thought it was worth it to keep the peace!

Sorry there have been some rough days and nights - and thank you for your kind words about DSs talking. I know in my heart of hearts it's not my fault, but I've always been anxious about not being good enough (at school, uni, work, in relationships and all the rest) and sometimes that bleeds into my parenting as well. He'll get there in the end, I know - his cousin was slow to talk as well and he's a very bright, articulate little boy now.

At the moment we are fighting the battle of the endless whinge - having no words certainty doesn't stop DS from expressing his displeasure. Still mostly related to those pesky laws of physics. How dare they not bend to his will Am strongly considering earplugs

DH has taken DD to the park for an hour so I can have a rest before he starts work!

Going to my mums later so she can spoil DD, while I wallow in my own sanity. DD woke up last night and I have yet another stinking cold. I've been constantly ill since October and not sure how much more I can take. Ear infections, followed by a cold that turned into a chest infection, small break of a week, another ear infection, then a cold, then tonsillitis and now another cold!

Spud Until a few months ago DD said nothing at all outside of the home and even then it was only 1 or 2 small words. She also has a developmental delay so everyone was a bit anxious.

Then one day I went to pick her up from Nursery. She looked at the Nursery manager with a big grin on her face, pointed at me and said "my mummy look" I blubbed like a baby. The manager didn't know what to do with me. And she's been slowly getting better since then, she still only says factual stuff like "Look the cat" but her speech is getting better. And that was without SALT help as the waiting lists here mean you often get forgotten by the system

I'm sure mini Spudlet will be fine and it's not your fault.

Big hugs Spud and I know where you're coming from, I'm worried about DS1 not talking too. That said my mum will always remind me that I didn't speak a word till I was over 3!! Back in those days they reassured her that I obviously understood everything, which was the important thing, and that speech would come later (it did!). Nowadays I think they will check any possible medical causes too and there is more help available should there be an issue. You are clearly a very caring Mum though, please don't beat yourself up about this!

DP has decided that he is VERY ILL and that looking after the DC is going to be very, very tricky for him today. Sigh. When I had the worst of my flu he didn't even let me have a lie in so my sympathy is very limited on this one.....

spud that must be really hard, but i believe that kids develop pretty much at their own pace. We might be able to influence the pace of development by how we raise our kids, but I suspect the impact is marginal. Won't stop good parents from beating themselves up tho.

After nearly getting sent home from childminder on Tuesday, we have had a miraculous week with DD1 No whining, no tantrums, later wake ups. She has been a total joy. Don't think it is anything we have done, except I have been giving her ibuprofen as I think she is teething her last. I think I might just resign myself to taking DD as I find her, day by day. Enjoy the good days, ride out the bad.

Spud ,does he sign? I found that Ds2.8 was so less screechy once he could sign more and finished (especially for food as he has feeding issues) and could sign animals, few vehicles etc because when out and about he could point and sign and tell me what he he was interested in

DH is still at work! He's only supposed to do a "short" day of overtime on a Sunday. Seriously not impressed, he promised he'd be back to do bedtime, DD goes to bed at 7pm!

I hate asthma

DD is awake coughing yet again. If she lays down she has another coughing fit, so I'm sat on the armchair with her sat across me head on my chest so she can sleep. I chose not to co-sleep when she was younger due to a fear I'd hurt her (had a family member lose a baby to SIDS so mega fear for me) so if it's going to be like this all night then I can kiss goodbye to sleep, DH is working tomorrow and it's not a Nursery day and can't afford to book an extra day so I can catch up on sleep.

This is going to be a long night.

That really sucks three. I always find coughing quite distressing, but it is at times like this I feel like a proper mum, I still remember the timed my mum tended to me through scarlet fever. Good luck.

Managed to put her down around 3am and got a few hours myself, she let me sleep until 8! Was awake earlier but played in her room until she got too hungry.

Going to go to the park in a bit and possibly swimming this afternoon.

Pouring with rain here so house morning watching cbeebies and making a mess

Glad you got a little bit of sleep Three. Sleepless nights are horrible! I had one night early on where neither DC slept AT ALL due to MIL letting them sleep far too long in the evening, despite me asking her not to. Really put me off letting her have them

Can I ask how your DD was diagnosed with a developmental delay? I am really wondering if DS1 has some other issue as he barely talks at all. My friend was telling me about her DS today, he is exactly the same age and talking in sentences!! He does have an older sibling, not sure how much difference that makes but made me worry all the more about DS1.

I need to go back to the signing Sleeping, we did it for two terms and it helped mine too when they were small, but I'd more or less stopped recently as DS2 has been coming along so well with his speech and I thought DS1 would follow - not so far though.

Trip to the supermarket needed for us this afternoon. Am really hoping they sleep through it as I hate chasing them round or refereeing the usual arguments over the trolley!!

Ruby She's in Nursery 3 days a week and the Nursery rung her health visitor to express concern over her development so the HV did her two year assessment at 23 months and 29 days (she turned 2, 2 days later) and diagnosed her. She then referred DD to a paediatrician who backed up the diagnosis and gave us the "official" diagnosis letter.

For contrast ours is more unofficial. Brain scan at 9 weeks we were told he would definitely have learning delays. He was only a little behind at 10 months but had spent 13 weeks in hospital, 5 weeks prem etc. Then 4 month hospitalisation put his social skills behind and something (they think psychological, I think physical, we all assume a degree of aforementioned delay) stopped him talking full stop. At 32 months he has a few sounds that cover everything, but largely confers his demands and requirements.
At 1 yr check he was behind on gross motor, communication, social etc. Walked at 18 months.
At 2 yr check he was behind on mainly social and communication.
We have no label, just a general acceptance he is behind.

He will go to mainstream school with a 121 for his o2 and we will see. I think he can count to 10 (uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uhuh, uh, uh ,uh), certainly can recognise then, can do age 3 jigsaw puzzles, some degree of imaginative play, can sign animals and some other bits, bit hit and miss on colours so its unclear atm whether its just a lack of speech or whether there will be increasing issues as he gets older

Sleeping that sounds hard.

DD was always behind too, but they said her physical delay was due to the hip dysplasia. She walked at aged 2, after crawling at 14 months, sitting at 10 months etc everything was late. But then she also has a learning delay.

She spent 5 days in hospital aged 16 months with a chest infection which is when the asthma was diagnosed and they've said that has held her back too as she spent the first 4 days on permanent oxygen.

She's also likely to start a mainstream school with 121 but we're not sure yet as she's struggling at Nursery, so I'm considering HE if I can't get her into a special school or into mainstream with the correct support.

Yeah constant reckons you can tell from his brain he has had extensive o2 support (ventilator for three weeks then down through everything and now on o2) which o find scary. It wasn't anything I would habe considered previously although of course nothing you get a choice in.

We're aiming for mainstream and then special if he doesnt cope. I hope if he can learn to talk that he will then be fine to stay in mainstream and us jist provide extra support outside of school.

What is it that she's struggling with in nursery? Does she get 121 at nursery?

That sounds really hard Sleeping.

Agree sleepless nights are awful. One baby is on the mend here but the other one is coming down with it now