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Terrible twos / threenager support thread

690 replies

Belleende · 11/01/2018 05:49

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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SnugglySnerd · 23/01/2018 14:43

Why do I have to hold a stick when we go out for a walk? I'm 38. I feel silly brandishing a stick but I'm still made to carry one by DD. She notices if I "accidentally" drop it and gives it back to me!

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2018 14:49

So you can unexpectedly play pooh sticks?

ThreeDaysAWeek · 23/01/2018 14:53

Snuggly Grin DD is the same with her toys, she'll randomly give me one and gets upset if I put it down

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Original poster
Belleende · 23/01/2018 16:01

Oh arse. Message from childminder. DD1 has been a stroppy mare. Please god, I hope she doesn't get expelled. That would be a disaster.

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ThreeDaysAWeek · 23/01/2018 16:10

Belle Surely she wouldn't get expelled for being grumpy?

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2018 16:19

I don't think childminders can expel toddlers for bring grumpy. They'd have no kids

Original poster
Belleende · 23/01/2018 16:28

I think all the other kids are v well behaved. it must be a pain to have a difficult one. Our CM is fab, so hopefully she won't do anything drastic.

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Original poster
Belleende · 23/01/2018 19:52

Not expelled, but she refused to put her shoes and coat on. I had to start walking home without them on. She soon changed her mind.

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ThreeDaysAWeek · 23/01/2018 19:55

Belle If DD won't leave Nursery I threaten to leave her with her keyworker, tell her I'll pick her up tomorrow/Monday and then head for the door, she soon puts her coat and shoes on and comes with me Grin probably a cruel mum for saying that though

Cathster · 23/01/2018 20:06

Good luck with the controlled crying buffy. Worked wonders for us with DD.

camomila that's so sweet, I love when they sing! DD treated us to renditions of Baa Baa Black Sheep and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star first thing this morning.

Well we managed bath time yesterday with minimal fuss for the first time in weeks. The fuss has moved to bedtime instead! She used to go to bed like a dream, take herself up there most of the time and lie quietly. Now it's on the floor screaming, hitting, throwing her story books... argh!

ThreeDaysAWeek · 23/01/2018 22:42

DD's started wanting a bottle before bed again Confused.

She has a cup of warm milk, but last two nights she's wanted her "bot bot". We keep a bottle in (she was breastfed but from 6 months had an occasional bottle of formula) for when she's ill in case she won't use anything else, so wondering if it's related to her being ill today but it's weird she hasn't actually used the bottle since she started Nursery in Sept 2016.

RubySlippers77 · 23/01/2018 22:56

DS2 is having astonishing amounts of milk at the moment Three!! I still can't get him to have cows milk (only wants his Aptamil - he's been on it since birth) and last night and tonight he's had 14oz Confused this is after dinner and a biscuit before bedtime!

Still, if it gets him to sleep through, I'll happily pay for more Aptamil...

ThreeDaysAWeek · 23/01/2018 23:00

Thankfully DD drinks cows milk, but it's costing me a small fortune. I swear I keep the British dairy farmers in business!

Original poster
Belleende · 24/01/2018 03:12

Not sure what is going on. DD 1 has been up 3 times since bed time and DD2 is struggling with wind. If there is a 5am start today I fear it will break me.

Buffy how did the controlled crying go? Hope you are getting more sleep than me.

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buffysummers4 · 24/01/2018 07:01

It worked!! Less than an hour of crying, then baby slept in the cot from 8.15 to 3am, had a feed, then went straight back to sleep in the cot, no crying at all, until 6.20!!

Cannot believe the change from hours and hours of using me as a dummy and waking up the instant I lowered him 1cm from my arms towards the cot...
I was so surprised and didn't really believe he'd gone back to sleep at 3am that I couldn't get back to sleep myself! (may also have been too excited at the prospect of actually having half an hour to myself in the evenings)
Older one seemed to sleep through it and woke up at 5.30am for me to replace duvet.
I feel human again!!

Apologies to everyone who has had a sleepless night :)

Original poster
Belleende · 24/01/2018 08:16

Yeah Buffy I hope it sticks for you, you must feel like a new woman.

Going to have to dig deep today. Naff all sleep. The usually Zen Baby is stuffed up with a cold and has been gulping air whilst feeding so is really struggling with wind, which is breaking my heart.
DD 1 up three times in the night, and awake for the day at 5.15 but has thankfully entertained herself quietly for a good while.
Feeling a bit teary today.

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Cathster · 24/01/2018 08:27

Oh no belle you poor thing! Are you with them both by yourself today or can you get some help?

Brilliant news buffy obviously baby was ready for the self settling. Glad you managed to have a good night.

Little to report here this morning. Fairly ok night sleep (to be honest, the cats are causing more trouble at night than DD!) although sounded like DH had a battle dressing her this morning. It’s something different every day at the moment!

SnugglySnerd · 24/01/2018 09:14

Great result Buffy!

Hope you are OK Belle. Sleep deprivation is awful.

I got so fed up with DD's messing this morning that I told her I was leaving her to it and she'd have to go to nursery with no pants. I went to brush my teeth and she suddenly appeared in the bathroom fully dressed to ask if I'd help with her socks. So it turns out she can completely dress herself!

Original poster
Belleende · 24/01/2018 09:28

Amazing how life with little ones can turn on a dime. I tried a nasal saline spray on DD2, it worked a treat. She had a long and happy feed and is back to her Zen self.

Swiftly followed by her and her sister spending five minutes grinning at each other, the first shared smiles. I blubbed of course.

Now we shall go to play group, despite the tempest blowing outside.

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buffysummers4 · 24/01/2018 09:47

Hope your day keeps getting better Belle :)

Slightly digressing from the point of the thread but it's just as well I was feeling better this morning as I brought the empty recycling wheelie bin in only to find a nicely bagged dog poo in it that I had to fish out... Ewwww - and I have worked with animals so not unused to poo. Almost worthy of a CF thread! (I'm always slightly disappointed that nobody asks me to take their six children to school for the next 3 months or similar....)
Maybe the dog walker from the other day really took offence at the dancing!!

RubySlippers77 · 24/01/2018 10:24

Ewwww that is horrid buffy! I suppose at least it was in a bag, but still...!

Lovely to hear about your ahhhhh moment Belle. Hope Zen baby continues to be unsnuffly Smile

Bad night here again - both DC up at 3.45am screeching for milk - DS2 up again 4.45 - 6.... poor DS1 was so tired out by him that he slept till 9! I'm not feeling great again this morning, the flu sweats are back Sad was going to brave the gales outside and take them to playgroup, but am still waiting for the painkillers to kick in. Bribing them to keep quiet with a 5000th viewing of the Gruffalo!

Snoopyokay · 24/01/2018 10:29

Well done on the sleep front Buffy! Hope your DD feels better soon Bell.

Ruby sounds like you had a rough night there, hope you feel better too - being ill when you have kids to look after is the worst.

DD slept through all night and I was in shock, I kept waking up anyway as I am so used to her waking me up. She only napped for an hour in the daytime yesterday rather than 2 hours so I wonder if this made a difference?

Have a good day all Smile

ThreeDaysAWeek · 24/01/2018 12:06

DD up 3 times between 1am and 3am, then up again at 5.30! So i've only had an hours sleep as I have to be up at 12.30am to take tablets Sad

Sick of DH moaning he's tired. Finishes work at 2pm, gets in and then is in bed at 10pm up at at 6am (he works a 10 minute walk from home). Sleeps through the night and as DDs been off Nursery he's been going for a nap from 3ish until 5.30, so has had around 10 hours sleep in the last 20 hours sleep in the last 48 hours. I've had around 5 hours Angry

ThreeDaysAWeek · 24/01/2018 12:07

*Sorry 20 hours sleep in the last 48 hours, I'm so sleep deprived!

RubySlippers77 · 24/01/2018 13:29

My DP is the same Three. Moans and moans about how tired he is but won't go to bed before midnight! Always sleeps through though, never even hears the DC in the night. Then sometimes the moaning will get to epic levels and he'll fall asleep at 8pm leaving me to do all the housework Angry apparently I never need an early night or a lie in "because I don't go out to work"...

Will today never end?! Screechy, moany, whiny children who won't nap and can't go to the park because the weather is so awful. We're going out in half an hour to their sports class but now they'll probably fall asleep on the way and miss it!