Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

I'm so joining you all. I will read the full thread and then il post about my mini who is a complete horror at the mo but I also think I'm the problem and question if I'm the shortest parent ever and that's why he behaves like he does.

Welcome Mustang! Don't be too hard on yourself it's bloody hard work with toddlers and they don't come with instructions unfortunately.

DD is in a funny mood today. She's already cried twice because she didn't like me shouting which would be fine except I haven't shouted!

for you Belle

DDs come down with this D+V that's going round, so day off work for me today and tomorrow sigh. I need work to keep me sane.

She's fine in herself, bouncing round the room playing with her toys just been sick this morning and having bouts of diarrhea every hour or so. Hope she's over it by tomorrow night, need to go to work Friday or I'll be climbing the walls like a toddler myself.

Belle, have my morning cup that I'm not allowed anymore since discovering a heart condition during my pregnancy - god I miss coffee.

Bloody hell they are hard work this morning! Ds us teething like mad and don't we all know it! Have just given him Calpol.

DD1 is acting like a bored teenager flouncing on the settee and DD2 is unusually clingy. I've just eaten some chocolate whilst hiding in my room!

Ohhh threedays no coffee? Although I am sure the heart condition might be a bit more troubling. Nothing too serious I hope. It's DPs day off today and we are both shattered and it is once again shitting it down outside.

On the bright side, yesterday we went for a lovely walk, managed to carry dd2 for about 7 miles. And I scored a pristine uppababy vista with buggy board for £150 from a local FB page. We have a growing collection of prams and other toddler transport devices, none of which DD1 will readily use. Made the mistake of buying a budget double which a) DD1 won't use and b) I hate. Now at least I have one pram that I know will work for me. Roll on spring time.

Oh dear, , and all round. 3.30am is particularly 😖

I feel like I am finally starting to get over the flu though I still feel crappy - have sacked off swimming today for fear of passing out in the pool / starting the next pandemic. Am steeling myself to have a shower, get dressed, and go Outside with ds as, with the exception of a trip to the woods with dh and a bit of time in the back garden, he hasn't left the house since last Wednesday and is clearly going stir crazy. On the plus side we do have hot water again but the downstairs loo is comprehensively buggered and dh is refusing to call a plumber until he 'has exhausted all possibilities on the internet'. Which is all very well for him, I'm the one having to face the reality of a house with no Man Toilet (a firm necessity IMO).

It's a grotty day, wonder if I can get away with kicking ds out into the garden and supervising from the back step rather than a full-on playground trip? I can sit with a picnic blanket wrapped around me and no one will give me funny looks...

Reading through this thread has been fantastic. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person who is going through this. Other friends either have newborns or teenagers and no in between.

DS turns two next month, is very chatty and very active. No pause button. Thankfully he sleeps but when he's awake it's just non stop.

Yesterday he had a tantrum because he wasn't allowed out in the garden to play with a (real) lawnmower. Because I dared to change his socks. Because he needed new trainers for football lessons and the ones that he chose dared to light up. Because I wouldn't let him have a third yoghurt. Because I asked him to say please "nnnnooooooooooo!!!".

Also very possessive of EVERYTHING at the moment, particularly play items in the park. "No, that's mummy's swing! Get out!" Or "that's my roundabout! Mine!!!" Or, "mummy, get off daddy's sofa". Eventually coaxed him on to the seesaw with another toddler and they ended up having fun and had to do the whole "see, isn't everything more fun when we share?".

And then the tables turn and at bang on 7pm he'll just say "bed please mummy, night night!". This often leaves DH wondering what the hell I'm talking about when I explain the rest of the day.

I have a very fast resting heartrate that gets faster when pregnant or when I have caffeine, was discovered during my pregnancy. Day-to-day it doesn't bother me but if I have caffeine it can send me into an "episode" where my heart races and I get palpitations so I have to be careful. I also can't have wine, or any alcohol unless it's in cooking - I lead a boring life.

Billy DD has a developmental delay and is going through that phase at the moment "No mine" her speech is coming on loads but the possessiveness is so wearing. Today it's "No my chair" even though me/the cat where there first .

My DD has possessive episodes, but they come and go quickly. My favourite was when she pointed at a plane in the sky and said "mine".

Belle Can't stop laughing at that

DD asleep again now, and DH is home at 2.15pm so I'll get a rest for a bit.

Ds2.6 doesn't need to be possessive because its just his. That hat I was wearing? The seat im sitting in? Jist his. No arguements. Just quietly acquired lol

My DD woke up screaming for no reason at 3am! Why do they do this? Also refused all of her dinner again and had crisps instead

I really think she is controlling me! Anyone else feel like they are not in charge at all? I've had to hide the chocolate from her and stop buying biscuits as she kept asking for them and I kept giving in!

Wish me luck - am going to have to bite the bullet and do controlled crying with baby tonight and older brother is not fun when he's tired....

(please don't tell me I'm going to traumatise them both for life, I've tried gentle stuff and co-sleeping and am exhausted and at the end of my tether...)

Snoopy Yes! If I eat anything in front of DD it's hers, and she cries if I won't share. Ate myself for the first time in a week yesterday bloody tonsillitis and she got upset I wouldn't share my much coveted after sausage roll. I ended up hiding in the bathroom to eat it!

haha three hiding in the bathroom sounds funny

Good luck buffy! I've still got DD in my room and she's almost 2 - I need help!

buffy Good luck, DD went into her own room at 5.5 months and loves it. She hates me getting in bed with her, she pushes me out! And gets out of my bed miss my cuddles in bed with her.

Thank you Three days - it worked really well for our older one who also would not appreciate us trying to get into bed with him. Fingers crossed.

Ha Snoopy, if my DC think there is anything better on offer then they certainly won't eat anything nutritious!! Have resorted to mini Cheddars for meals many a time telling myself that they are full of calcium...

Good luck with all the sleeping tonight everyone. 3.30am is brutal Belle ☹️ DS1 went through a really annoying phase of being happy and bouncy around 3am - 5am, then would crash and burn just in time for DS2 to wake up for the day 😩

Went to playgroup this morning, not bad apart from DS2 having to be hauled off DS1 for trying to bite him, then later tripping over some toys and head butting a radiator. So a fairly standard morning really.

Aah I've found the thread for me :)
I have a 21m old DS.

I think he must be going through a big development leap at the moment as he's refusing the pushchair and tantrumming loads...but on the other hand he lay in bed last night and told me all the colours on his duvet (half were wrong) and sang me a garbled version of row, row your boat..I was a bit as he couldn't do that the day before. It cheered me right up after a day toddler wrangling.

I actually managed to get DD to eat, admittedly it was my chicken sandwich I'd made but hey, she's eating again after being ill so I'm not too annoyed!

Camonila Too cute him singing, DDs speech delayed so most of her speech is garbled but it's cute when she tries

My son stores his food in his cheeks. Like a hamster. He currnetly has ham, egg and chips. Balanced diet eh?