Did anyone else do progressive Christmas presents?

[TheFSMisreal]

It seems like I'm the only one. According to Facebook atleast. My son is super excited to earn his next lot. There must be others though right?

As someone said it's basically a reward chart,but the rewards are enhancements to his Christmas present. So read book 1, get book 2. Make your bed,get a button(seriously? Fucking buttons?) 3. Tidy up toys, lights or bell for the bike. 4. Eat your dinner, name or character added to his dressing gown and so on.

Honestly,it's bonkers! If he wants a personalised mickey mouse dressing gown,just get him that for Christmas!

No I don't want links to your child's presents. I asked if you could explain the concept or perhaps post a link that explains it to us. Because you haven't explained you see.

Are you American, OP (“switch out”, “store” etc) and so is this an American ‘thing’?
Regardless, you’re rather rude.

Seriously, I have  face for realsises. @PerspicaciaTick isn't the only confused person.

If you could break it into...

1. What does the child actually get for Christmas?
2. Do you buy the other books etc. at the time or later?
3. What does the child have to do to 'earn' the addition?
4. What the point is?
5. How this is anything to do with Christmas?

Just answer 4. and 5. actually.

DD might get a book for Christmas and I might buy her the second in January if she read and enjoyed the first. But it's got bugger all to do with Christmas.

I've googled:

Progressive presents
Progressive gifts
Both again + positive behaviour

There was also a bag of chocolate and sweets but Ive eaten those

That's isn't progressive parenting, but seems preferable!

This is thebodddest thing I've read

What's the 'point' what are you hoping this achieves?

Off to see if the kids might be interested in new buttons for something ....

I think its based on the 12 Days of Christmas which was way before its time in that its a progressive Christmas song. They get given more each day for 12 days. Except the way the OP is doing it the song would be called the 12 Months of Christmas.

This is veering off topic but on thinking about it I don't think my children have ever had a coat with buttons. They've always had zips. Or maybe zips and poppers. Never buttons though.

I think the reason people are struggling so much with this is that you have given an arbitrary and unnecessary name to something most parents already do. I don't think it is at all unusual to buy your child a small treat for good behaviour. It is similarly not unusual to suggest that treat be something that they already know they like i.e. A bell for a new bike or the next book in a series.

So you’re using a reward chart as an excuse to give your dc half baked christmas presents, basically.

And judging from here and the fact that even google has no idea what you’re on about, yes you are the only person doing it.

Well that's sad everyone just seems to spoil their kids or its Christmas and that's it. I guess this generation won't grow up learning the value of things.

That's interesting. The presents you gave on Christmas day sound quite substantial to me. I would expect my lot to be happy with those alone. I can't imagine them being 'super excited' to get yet MORE stuff or to upgrade their existing presents - even if there was a link to their behaviour. I would suggest not buying ever more things throughout the year is the opposite of spoiling surely?

I notice the OP has no particular interest in explaining her system so it can be properly discussed but hey ho everyone else's kids are spoilt brats

A progressive Christmas sounds more like progressive new age claptrap.

But it’s just a reward chart! What does it have to do with christmas???

"darling you are going around I circles and i cba to chase you. Learn to read or go away"

So incredibly rude. You're going on about learning life lessons and you can't even be civil with your (frankly, ridiculous) idea that you clearly 'cba' to explain properly. Perhaps you don't even understand it yourself?

Ah?

So you're saying they get a toy at Christmas then earn an add on - and because you link the two the kids understand the value of things?

Get over yourself!

Kids usually want the latest must have toy and by June it's forgotten and they are now interested in X Y or Z instead.

They learn Value in saving or being given/earn pocket money for the things they want

A £50 hoodie paid by me is a nice treat, if they have to save and earn it instead they have to truely want it

My children know the value of things thank you very much. They keep their rooms tidy, make their beds and put away washing all without being bribed or asked.

You are overthinking something people do all the time, child likes something so later on they get a bit more of their collection. But FFS, school is hard enough without making your child the one going in talking about earning special buttons for cleaning their room for two weeks.

If your child likes buttons, buy him them without weird assed conditions and made up rituals!

I understand what you are trying to do.

However this is far too much pressure on your child.

I’m assuming he is young primary due to his interests and is far too little for this.

This is not just my opinion. This is the professional view of a child psychologist, whom we consulted when dd was 6.

Another one who has never come across this practice (by this name or any other). I give my children presents at Christmas because I love them. Sometimes I give them gifts because I want to reward some behaviour I like, other times I give gifts just because I see something I think they will like. Most other parents I know do the same.

The only time we did reward charts with prizes successfully was when we changed school systems and they had a lot of catch up to do over a summer. I can't remember what dd received for her reward, but ds got an x-box (and more importantly a big boost when he went back to school in the summer). When we tried reward charts for behaviour when they were younger it really backfired, I believe that the issues we experienced are quite well known.

I completely agree with Mummyoflittledragon, this to me seems to add a great deal of pressure to your ds. Can I ask where you came up with this idea of progressive presenting? Can you please point me towards any literature on the topic? Is this something that was begun as a Christmas tradition in your family?

I have some questions regarding the system; firstly, how long after Christmas does your progressive presenting continue? If it carries on throughout the year, isn't that technically just a reward system, where if your ds behaves he gets something he wants? I would think a young child would struggle to understand the link between a gift they were given say ten months ago and a reward they are given due to good behaviour.

Another question I have, is do all of the gifts that your ds receives at Christmas or on his birthday, need to be able to progress so to speak? Do you ever just buy your ds a gift because you love him and want to see him smile?

Does your ds have to earn the gifts that he receives on his birthday and at Christmas? Do you alone bring him progressive gifts, or is this something that you do as a family? Where does the traditional Santa/ Father Christmas come into things, or does he at all?

Can you explain this system in more detail? I feel like you’ve kind of dropped hints with regards to what a progressive present is but also left lots of gaps in the explanation (not sure whether intentionally or unintentionally at this point) so it’s hard to understand.

Am I right in understanding that the presents given are fully functioning and without bits missing but the option is to earn extra bits, like accessories or upgrades? I can see how this could be fun for a child! When you give the present (eg: a doll, a book) so you also tell the child what the options for them to ‘earn’ as the next part of the present are? And what they have to do? Or do you give the present but then a few weeks or months later offer the option to earn the next part?

Batshit.

I don't care about how many presents your child gets at Xmas, to be honest that's neither here nor there, but this isn't progressive anything it's just batshit bollocks that you've been sold. Most parents I've ever met give token rewards from time to time for good behaviour, none of them ever give it a nonsense name.

Is no one allowed to just parent anymore without whatever tactic they use being given some flaming bollocks name so that someone can sell a book from it?
We're going to have generations of kids who aren't nice friendly people just because that's the right will thing to do, it will be 'oh well Mabel, you see I am nice and friendly because I follow the Sparklefarts-batshit-bollocks-progressive-regressive-talkingoutmyarse model of living'

I repeat, batshit.

And OP, nearly everyone on this thread has said you're not explaining it, there's no need to focus on one person and be rude to them.

From what i understand the kids get presents. During the year they can earn add ons. This isnt unusual. My son got a nintendo switch for christmas with one game. If he wants another he will get it by saving his pocket money (that he gets for doing jobs round the house) or we may get him one for doing something particularly good.

This is the norm for a lot of people. The difference is that the op has made a name up for it and trying to make it seem like a 'thing'.

Kids get all sorts of toys that add ons come later. Such as lego, dolls/action figures/ computers etc.

Op do you also have to earn your present?
Or is it just your son.

This whole thing is batshit. Here DS is a coat but it only has one arm, you must earn the other arm with good behaviour.
LITERALLY THE MOST STUPID THING EVER.

I can’t believe I thought to give my son whole Christmas presents