OK have been meaning to start this one for a while - what are you insouciant about re yr kids?

[Clary]

Sorry for silly long word in the title. I really mean, what do you let go and think is OK that others might not. I am convinced we all have sthg.

For example, a pal is a lovely mum and really caring but once carried more children in her car than there were eseast for. I would never do this.

Another really really lovely caring mumsnet type mum who makes her own bread and loves her lovely kids to bits and does all kinds of imaginative stuff with them but passes on shoes.

Another is lovely too, shoes always nicely shined, house is clean and tidy, children very polite, ride bikes, read well etc, but are fed total crap - and refuse any brown bread, salad, fruit etc (at least that's all the kids were ever given at playdates there).

So what's your thing you just don't think matters? I'm not after judging (tho no doubt this will go that way) but interested.

Tp show I mean it, here are mine (I have 2); 1) I let my kids lick out the cake mix bowl (the car friend thinks this is unacceptable). Raw eggs, schmaw eggs. Am I putting their lives at risk?

2. I am a bit casual about illness. If DD is sick (she often is) but not really ill, ie she throws up then asks what's for lunch and goes and runs round in the garden afterwards, I don't wait 48 hrs to send her back to school.

See, I told you I was a bad mother!

im really not bothered about any comeback, i just dont think that everyone reading this will agree with what is written, and i want to put my bit in and say that i dont agree with

not putting your child in a suitable car seat

leaving irons on around children

dressing them in 2nd hand clothes (i bet not every mum on her who dresses her kids in 2nd hand clothes would wear it herself)

and sending kids out dirty and hair unbrushed etc

Well, don't think you'd get too much disagreement on the 1st two - common sense surely.

Can't help feeling I am being wound up with the last two cos quite frankly I couldn't give a monkey's chuff. Dirty kids are happy kids. But its too nice a day to argue. Each to their own - do whatever suits you, but I wish you would spare a thought for the old environment with yer nice new clothes.

Even hand me downs from an older brother or sister? Totally agree about car seats.

all my second hand clothes mines dhs and dds all go to the cancer research shop (because of personal reasons i chose this shop) but this does not mean that i would buy my clothes from there as well.

chocolateface yeah dont hand down from dd1 to dd2, im a middle child with a older brother and i was always given his old things, i can remember from a very young age (prob about 3) how much i hated this, and i will never put either of my pair in anything 2nd hand.

Oh, so they're good enough for other people and their children, but not for yours?

Nice attitude you have there.

I wouldn't buy my children clothes from a charity shop; I'm lucky that I can aford some really nice clothes for my children. DS1 will hardly wear some of them,(shirts for a wedding he will only ever wear once) and as I sometimes buy them the same, DS2 doesn't notice that his clothes grow with him!
I can imagine how horrible it must have been for you as a child

Thats exactly what i was thinking....lol

Thats really lovely that you can kit out your kids in brand new clothes.....and we 2nd handers are all so grateful that you throw us your waste!...is that what you are wanting to hear?

I buy the odd new bit for my children...but also get bits from e-bay and car-boots.....my kids really don;t care what they are wearing as long as they can go out and play and get dirty in them!

Most of DS newborn wardrobe was passed on from friends, some of whom had bought some of it from charity shops, some of the stuff was really vintage and must have been worn by dozens of babies. And it was great.
I still look for clothes for him in charity shops, but there is not usually very much around for boy toddlers (probably because they all trash their clothes) so he has a fair bit of new-bought stuff now.
But then, half my wardrobe is 2nd hand, and what isn't is mostly several years old.

I could afford to buy mine new clothes if I wanted but they genuinely don't mind that they're not new (I don't think they even realise tbh) but I figure the more money I save now the more I can afford to spend on things that really matter, like their education, when they're older. Unless money is totally not an object then you can't do everything and sometimes you have to sacrifice in one area to afford something else. T'is life and not a bad lesson for children to learn IMHO.

im not sure that its my attitude that needs looking at, i give our old clothes away in the hope that it will raise some cash for the charity, i know tere are people who cant afford to buy new for what ever reason but i would not come on here and boast about the fact that my kids wear clothes that are 2nd hand.

he he arguements over here as well!!!

so i'm actually quite picky about the kids. a stickler for car safety, cleanliness and matching clothes (much to my embarasment- i can't help it, mismatched outfits just bug me!)

i used to be awful though for leaving the kids (twins-so more understandable!) in the car if i was popping into a shop etc, rather than get them out lug the buggy out of the boot and take 5 times the ammount of time to lock the car and nip in on my own!!

i did learn my lesson though when i was putting a bag in the boot after some such trip to the shop and locked my keys inside- had to wait for the police to come and unlock my children and felt VERY embarassed- will NEVER do it again!

Ok..who's boasting..come on...hands up....who is it?????

I'm just saying how it is in my house...

anyway can i also point out that the clothes were only part of what i was shocked about, the rest of it i think is far more serious, even people saying that they are slack with teeth brushing!!

my daughter needed a couple of teeth taken out when she was 4 because they had not grown in right and it was the worst day of my life seeing her having to be put to sleep for the operation and in the beds all around us there were parents with young children who were having teeth removed because they were rotten, all because parents fed them crap then were two lazy to spend 5 mins twice a day brushing the kids teeth.

Boasting?? Er, dunno. Just reacting to the 'why would you blah blah comment'. Not boasting, but see not one jot of shame in it either.

I have boasted in RL and will now boast on MN for the first time that DD is 2.5 and so far I have bought her - one pair of tights, one pack of three button under vests, one winter coat.
She has an older brother, older cousin and lots of older girl friends...

All her main shoes are new but boots, slippers etc second hand.

We could afford new but she is always nicely dressed and matching except when I know she is going to get muddy/grass stained.

Keen shopper step-mother provides 'best' outfits.

totallyshocked I think you are a totallytop mother. You seem to do it all right. Good for you. Maybe the 'lazy' mothers who fed their kids 'crap' also had teeth growing in incorrectly? Or other problems? Or problems which meant, yeah, they didn't do the teeth brushing/diet thing to perfection. Your generalisations are indeed sweeping in their sweepingness!

Surely its personal choice?

Isn't it

Have only skimmed this thread but getting dirty/clothes are probably the only thing I am insouciant about. Very concerned on safety, hygiene etc...

nearlythere.......where is the other argument...shhhhhh....

anyway its far to much of a nice day to be stuck talking on here, i think i will head down to te shops in my perfect car with my perfect kids and buy all the new clothes i want, just like any other perfect mother would, i might even just drop of some old tat at the charity shop if you are interested niceglasses

nah, but you could pick us up some woven sandal wearing mung beans if you like pet?

ooh, go on, tell us where you are
we want your old tat even if you don't
and we'll be donating to charity rather than lining the pockets of an unethical multinational corporation

[MrsBadger relaxes in her stylish yet bargainous secondhand maternitywear]

We are re-cycling, we are re-cycling..lalalala

(is that how you spell it?)

nearlythere..talk to me....

oh and nearlythere....i know what you mean about the twins thingy.....not enough hands and all that.....(and usually not enough trollies either).....