If you have an only child ...

[imaginaryfriend]

... are you planning on having more or sticking with one? And can you explain your reasons to me?

I've got one dd, 4.5, and I probably won't manage to conceive again as I was always told I couldn't in the first place - dd was a complete surprise! But it's now or never for me age-wise to make the decision as to whether or not to even try to have another one.

I'm torn in half by the decision and wondered what you guys think?

That's too bad about walls not being able to allow children on them.

I climbed extensively for about 10 years and all the climbing gyms I went to (admittedly all in Colorado) allowed children age 4+.

Many even offered courses and clinics specifically for young children.

Great for kids AND their parents!

Children are natural climbers, after all.

Children had to be in full-body harnesses, however, until the age of 10 at the gym where I was a member for a few years.

Although in Colorado you saw plenty of children climbing roped in waist harnesses under that age at the crags.

Indeed, one of America's most talented current climbers, Tommy Caldwell, was following his father on some pretty hard cracks by the age of 7.

They sure ar natural climbers, I love watching them climb, even if it is furniture or stuff in the park! So sure-footed and carefree and uninhibited!

I think I wouldn't mind so much about the walls if we didn't live in the flattest part of the country and have to drive three hours to get somewhere climbable!

That's really good about courses specifically for young children! That's one of my dreams, to set up something like that in this country that is accesible for youngsters and their families and isn't ridiculously expensive...one day...

One day I'll also get to Colerado and climb there with DS! another dream...maybe when he's leading so we don't have to rely on anyone else...

Yep my DS has a full bodied harness...

Am too at what some climbers achieved at such young ages!...and a bit too!

So many of the best climbers started young...
I really should move, I don't get nearly enough climbing in...

I like to climb with kids because they are so creative at finding holds!

They just go for it and don't worry about how it looks. Just enjoy it.

Colorado is many a climber's dream because there is literally something for EVERYONE: long cracks in the wilderness, off-widths, world-class sport and bouldering climbs, ice, mixed, technical mountaineering.

Long cracks. Long cracks. Long cracks.

A hard crack is good to find! Thin to win!

[I have tiny hands]

Topher Donahue is another who started climbing as a child. His father founded Colorado Mountain School in the 70s.

And where else can you go and be completely humiliated when a 12-year-old comes up and walks your project as his/her warm up.

lol that must have been annoying!

I find there is nothing that makes me feel old more than a kid who climbs better than me, and doesn't even break into a sweat!

We tried to move on quietly after thanking him for collecting our quickdraw, which we were going to have to leave behind if he hadn't come up and very politely asked if we wouldn't mind if he had a shot .

'Is that your draw up there?'

Erm, yes

'Want me to bring it down for you? It's no problem.'

My buddy's like, 'Prepare for our asses to be spanked!'

BUT, it had a happy ending! As he belayed my buddy up and gave him just the beta for the send .

See what I mean?

I love climbing with kids!

Well, I just loved climbing so age not important .

lol great story! hey, at least you got the beta right! and the quickdraw!

Yep I just love climbing too! You say loved, does that mean you don't any more? Injury?

Have you heard of Lottie Child and her urban street training? have a look really interesting.

Just saw your other post, so I take it you like long cracks?! Tiny hands are great for that, and small feet too, I love crack climbing and foot jamming, especially as the boys I climb with struggle on them!

I think we've well and truly hyjacked this thread, oops.

I only have one & at the moment see myself only having one. I guess this could be cos I'm single at the moment & quite happy with just the one but having a husband or whatever might change my mind! I don't like the idea of being a step-mother type either.

Blondilocks I can only see myself having one at the moment too, but never know what might happen in the future that might change that, so I keep an open mind. If it happens, it won't be any time soon, that's for sure!

That's exactly what I think climbingrosie. I think I'm just used to things how they are at the moment but who knows what will happen.

It started to get the point where some good friends died, where I started to know people who died climbing .

A friend, Brian Herm*e, died in a tragic accident in Clear Creek Canyon.

A very close friend of mine was belaying him. An extremely accomplished sport climber, Brian called out to his belayer that he was safe once he reached a large ledge at the top of a 70-foot cliff.

He wasn't anchored, however. Follwing his command, his partner took him off belay.

It was March, and still icy in canyons in Colorado.

Brian slipped and fell to his death.

He was 23-years-old.

After this, for a group of us, our lives seemed to spin out of control in various ways - broken relationships/divorces, friends becoming enemies during/after failed expeditions, substance abuse problems, etc.; ending with the death of a very close friend, Richard Pearce, who died in a single car accident on the way to a weekend of climbing outside Gilette, Wyoming. He fell asleep at the wheel.

So I stopped climbing in April, 2002. Sold all my gear (I was a trad climber mostly), excpecting my shoes.

I'm ready to come back, though .

For different reasons now.

I still have my crack boots

It hurts SO good!

[End hijack]

So sorry expat

Glad you're ready to come back now!...and you have your boots!

My best friend and climbing buddy had a horrendous climbing accident about two years ago, only I was there with her, completely destroyed her foot, she can't even walk without pain now...not sure if she'll ever climb again, that shook us up pretty badly.

We were soloing

but nothing like what you and your friends went through

This is a lovely thread, all of you - I have an only and don't want any more, and when I saw the title of the thread, I was a bit apprehensive because I felt sure there'd be lots of comments about how cruel it was to only have one (have suffered from that in the past in RL) but you're all so sane and rational about it!

In response to some earlier posts, when DH and I go away by ouselves for a weekend, DS (4) goes to stay with his favourite aunt who he adores; that way it's as much of a treat for him as it is for us!

I do spend a lot of time being very silly with him though, because he has no-one else to teach him the joys of the 'You're a poo poo head', 'No, you are!' games

Now, someone else say something cos I killed a thread yesterday and am feeling sensitive

I feel very content with one child in our family. In our case we never particularly planned to have more than one - in fact DP was emphtic that one was the right number, even before we got started. So I never had a picture in my mind of more, and I haven't had to adjust a picture with 'an empty space' in it, iyswim.

DS is fantastic, very happy and normal. Sometimes, when I see other families of siblings at their happiest I feel wistful, but not in a deep gut wrenching sort of ay. in a sort of way which is rather shallowly driven out by the flipside of getting more than one out of the house with enough breakfast and clothes between them.

I can't really talk about how I feel about 'an only child'. I don't think about it like that - except in reaction to some of the meaner stereotypes that crop up. Our family just 'is' - and it feels right and happy to us.

Slayerette - i can guarantee that 'PooPoo head' enters the DNA at about 4 years however many children there are in the family!!

blu - your post is exactly how I feel, but I just never knew how to put it in words

Slayerette - stick with me babe! I kill threads regularly!

All of you seem to have little ones that are onlies at the moment and I can assure you that there are times when its difficult, like when you don't want the hassle of friends coming round, but your lo wants someone to play with, but it does get so much easier. My dd is 11 now and there is no problem with her and her friends when it comes to having siblings. Her friends are actually envious of her now, because they can't wait to go out without their kid brother or sister and my dd doesn't have that hassle. Now she is getting her own independance, its lovely and actually me & dh don't feel so bad now when we go out on our own. I think altimately, there are swings & roundabouts to both sides. Sometimes I wish I had two, so that dd had someone to play with and then sometimes, I listen to the chaos in my friends houses and I think 'how lucky I'm I!'

Princessc - you and me can be a threadkilling clique - finally, I can be part of one It's so nice to hear from someone with an older only cos I do worry about DS when he gets older but than he'll be more independent and able to go round to someone's house without me. Like you, I do sometimes look at my friends with their two and feel a bit of guilt but not when their kids are fighting and whining! I guess there's no perfect number and no perfect life so we should just enjoy what we have!

Just wanted to add, you families of 3 - Once your only is old enough to go out with their mates in the evening, it means you are free to go to the pub with dh! Unlike ya mates, who will still have another one to look after at home!!

There are some great responses on here, thanks everyone.

I've been thinking about it all a lot and have more or less decided that we're going to stick with one. The chances of me conceiving are so slim and the risks of something going wrong with it are so high that I'm going to count my blessings.

good to hear all those views about having just one child. Agree that in many ways it's easier - but I'm still exhausted all the time! But one of the reasons we decided against having another was that I felt i'd be having a baby 'for' dd, not for ourselves, or for the baby, and felt that was the wrong reason. Also couldn't afford it (having 2 other half-siblings, soaking up dh's salary!). I know statistically there are lots of onlies out there but dont know many in real life.