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Original poster

No bond at 12 months. :(

127 replies

RozfromFraisier · 15/09/2017 20:13

DD is our second, we have a 3 year old who I absolutely adore with all my heart.

I just feel very little towards her. Never have. I wasn't too worried in the early days/months, but am concerned now. It's going on a bit long, isn't it?

What if I never love her very much? She's a nice kid, her Dad really enjoys her. She should have a Mum who enjoys her too.

I can't admit this to a living soul.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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WheresTheEvidence · 15/09/2018 16:04

Oh Roz
I've just read your whole thread. I.am so happy that you've fallen in love with your little girl. And that youre happy

VanGoghsDog · 15/09/2018 16:10

Love this update, made me cry.

3ChangingForNow · 15/09/2018 16:14

Have you watched 'help me love my baby?' Its on YouTube. It might help to watch others in the same situation going through therapy and support.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
3ChangingForNow · 15/09/2018 16:16

Sorry just RTFT!! Amaaaaazing Star

DesertCactus · 15/09/2018 16:27

Wonderful update Smile

MargoChanning · 15/09/2018 16:33

Oh Roz, I'm so delighted for you!! What a wonderful update!

SinkGirl · 15/09/2018 16:33

I recognise so much of what you’re saying, OP. My twins are 2 this week and a year ago I was feeling very similar things.

The main emotion I felt for them was worry. Every day I went through the daily monotonous constant grind of caring for them. I worried about harm coming to them, I wanted them to be well and happy, but I can’t say I felt especially bonded to either of them. We’d had a very tough year (one had a lot of health issues, traumatic birth etc) and I think I had a complete absence of emotion about everything.

Things are so different now. I love my boys so much. I didn’t realise how much I was suffering mentally until it improved. Now they have their own personalities and quirks and seek me out for kisses and cuddles and i love them so much, but I definitely didn’t feel that way a year ago.

My mum died a few months before I got pregnant and I have found this so difficult - I am sure that your experience of pregnancy and motherhood this time is so different without your mums involvement and I suspect that may be contributing massively. I would seek some help for that if you can.

NewUserNameTime · 15/09/2018 16:34

OP I've just read the full thread and am in tears reading this. I'm sooooo glad you are happier now and in a different place.

It's so wonderful you got help, you sound like a wonderful Mum. Parenting is so hard and it can be very difficult to ask for help, thank goodness you did.

👏🏻Star

AppleBlossomTimeNow · 15/09/2018 16:40

I'm actually crying. Women are wonderful. Mothers are wonderful. OP I'm so happy for you x

Sipperskipper · 15/09/2018 16:46

Ive just read this thread for the first time and im crying in the bath. You sound like a wonderful mum and your daughter sounds delightful.

I had PND which was diagnosed very quickly. I am so thankful for that. The short time I suffered, I had no bond with my daughter, and each morning I used to wake dreading the day ahead.

I'm so glad you are able to enjoy your lovy family. Xx

DDIJ · 15/09/2018 16:46

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BeeBoBoop · 15/09/2018 16:48

What an amazing update and
So great that you shared for others in the same position. Thanks

Prestonsflowers · 15/09/2018 16:49

Just read the whole thread, you were so honest and it must have been such a difficult emotion to admit to.
I’m so pleased to read your update.

SoHumble · 15/09/2018 17:17

What a wonderful update ❤️

I’m so happy for you and your lovely girl

Cagliostro · 15/09/2018 17:18

I didn’t realise at first that this was an old thread.

This is literally the loveliest update on an old thread that I have ever had the joy of reading. Thank you so much for updating, you will give hope to any mums searching this topic in the future.

Your daughter is a very lucky girl. I don’t just mean now, because you have that bond. She has always been lucky to have you, because you sought the help you needed, you tried hard, always.

💐

NightOwlHoney · 15/09/2018 17:23

This thread has moved me so much. Roz, you are an incredible woman and a wonderful mother. Thanks

Lovethetimeyouhave · 15/09/2018 18:04

Lovely update!

rhnireland · 15/09/2018 18:17

what a lovely update to read. I hope you know that you will be an inspiration to others in the depths of one.

whereswaldo · 15/09/2018 18:25

Haven't read the full thread but I still felt like this when mine was 2. Had tried CBT ( for baby related anxiety) health visitor course, acupuncture and counselling.

Eventually went to the GP and said ' pills won't make me love him'. She said that restoring my chemical imbalance from undiagnosed PND would allow feelings to come forward.

It totally did-- he genuinely seemed 'sparklier' to me within a week of being on sertraline.

PiggyPlumPie · 15/09/2018 18:26

Oh wow! I've just read the whole thread and I am thrilled for you!

Enjoy your family Flowers

Wallabyone · 15/09/2018 18:28

Such a beautiful thread, and I'm so happy for you and your family. Take care xxx

TheSassyAssassin · 15/09/2018 18:46

Missed it was 2017 at first too and now in tears at your update Roz! So lovely to hear that she's your world now. So pleased for you and your gorgeous little girl SmileFlowers

JLG19 · 15/09/2018 19:09

I'm so happy that all has worked out well for you, Roz. You sound like a wonderful mother with two delightful, happy children. You're a credit to your family.

KarrisWhiteOak · 15/09/2018 19:10

I didn’t realise how old the trgread was when I started reading it m, then I got worried we’d never find out how you are.

I’m so very pleased for you to get a happy ending.

TheMendedDrum · 15/09/2018 19:17

You are so brave Roz - it takes such courage to admit to being vulnerable. I also cried reading this and thank you for taking the time to update. Hurrah for you. Hurrah for your DD. Amazing. ❤