5 year old still has a dummy and bottle: is it really that bad?

[Dangermouse559]

Hi all,

My DD is recently turned 5 years old and still has a bottle and dummy. She has a bottle of milk at just before bed at around 7:00 and doesn't have one any other time. She sleeps with about 5 dummies at night, she will have it during the day if she is upset, and sometimes has it in the car on long journeys.

Now I know that she is 'too old' for them, but she really does love her dummy and bottle. I am often reminded by family members or sometimes rude strangers that she shouldn't have them anymore but I just don't see why I should take them away.
I am aware of the argument that they damage teeth, but the dentist is happy with her teeth and didn't mention the dummy at all the times that we have visited.

I know that I'm not the only one that feels judged for allowing my child to have a dummy and bottle at this age so if anyone else is feeling the same way then your experience would be greatly appreciated. Generally I just want some support that I'm not a horrendous mother for let my DD have a dummy and bottle at 5
Thanks x

If you want my honest opinion, I just can't see the need for them? Can't you tell her the dummies are going to a baby that needs them and you are her are going to shop for a fluffy toy that she can take to bed instead? Make it exciting.
I just think a bottle before bed is bizarre. Just tell her she's grown up now and can choose a new cup for her milk. These aren't hard habits to break! Are you sure you're not just babying her?

google baby bottle tooth decay

Oh I don't know...

Obviously the dentition issue is one of the primary concerns, so if the dentist thinks that all ok then that certainly makes it better.

I'd be worried that the longer you leave it the more ingrained the habit is, and the more traumatic it will be for her to stop. It won't be long before she won't want to be a child who sucks a dummy because she will see it as babyish, but she will still feel the desire to suck on it at night for comfort. That kind of emotional conflict can be a big deal, especially if teasing or peer pressure is thrown into the mix because of kids at school finding out.

So if the teeth are fine I don't think there's anything inherently bad about it, but I don't think it's in her best interests either so I'd be helping her to phase it out. That's just me though.

So what happens when you take them away?

Unless there is a lot of back story then I would certainly look to be getting rid of them now. Maybe stop the out and about dummies first, then replace the bottles with a cup and then finish with the nighttime dummies over a couple of months rather than trying to make so many changes at once

Is she an only child OP ? because im wondering if the 'baby' stuff is more about you not wanting her to grow up rather than her 'wanting' them iyswim

I'd be judgy too tbh. No real need for either of them at that age. My 2 were bottle fed but were off bottles by 15 months and 11 months. Took ds's dummy away at 5 months when he started waking for it constantly. Dd never had a dummy

Not "bad" as such

Put it this way... it's fu@king strange and if I were you I'd stop doing it. Today!!

She's 5 and school aged. There is no need for her to have a dummy and a bottle. You are going to have to draw the line at some point and take them away from her.

As someone who sucked her thumb with a blankie until I was 10.

Nah let her have her dummy and bottle.

I let my Dd have her dummy whenever she wanted it, she naturally just stopped bothering when she was about 5.
She stopped wanting a bottle much younger, not much past a year old but I don't think one bottle of milk a day is a big deal.
Some children are thumb suckers, I was untill age 8.
I honestly don't think it's that bad.

Think of the poor child's teeth.

I had braces, it's horrible. Luckily I've never had a rotten tooth, but I can't imagine that's nice either.

Take the bottle and dummy away. Replace with a heat up teddy and a new nightlight.

And btw, I've never outgrown my comfort object, still have it age 39.

I would make efforts to get rid. . She shouldn't need such baby comforts at 5. .

Honestly your dd is to old for bottles they just are when are you going to take them away?

I had a night time bottle til I was 5 but because I'm dyspraxic and couldn't manage cups. It didn't do me any harm. I guess my concern would be her peers finding out and teasing her for it?

I had a school friend whose house I first went to stay at when we were 10. Imagine my surprise when said friends mum brought her a bottle of milk at bedtime and offered me one too!

That was just because she liked it and found it comforting so her mum never felt a need to stop.....

Dd1 had her Dummy at night till she was4 she stopped sucking it and just held it

It is very unusual, yes.

How is her speech? Dummies can increase the chance of a pronounced lisp I think and prevent proper speech.

Dummies are hard habit to break, DS used them until he was 4 but we cut down and cut down and prepared him to be a big boy age 4 and then went cold turkey.

He was fine and hasn't asked for them. He has a blankie at night but this is different.

She may surprise you. And yes, ditch the bottles too. No need. Do her classmates know?

Is this about her needing them, or about you being scared of what will happen if you try and take them away?

Please think about her dental health and the potential impact this could already have had on her speech. There is no reason for her to have a bottle and a dummy at 5.

I have a child with autism and he had a bottle until quite late , he was 3 when he stopped having it what worked for us was buying a few identical sports bottles so he was drinking from the same bottle at nursery and home , what about letting her choose a really nice cup to have her bedtime drink in instead of the bottles , you could go the whole hog and get rid of the dummies at the same time each time she asks use the same line , you are a big girl now , no more dummies and bottles

I am often reminded by family members or sometimes rude strangers that she shouldn't have them anymore

I am massively pro-dummy. But I am jydgy if I see a walking toddler with a dummy in the mouth. I'd very much judge a school age child. That said, one of my 3 older children did still have a dummy at aged 5. He was a sod to wean off them, his siblings weren't.

I highlighted the above passage because at a bare minimum the only people who should be seeing the child with a dummy should be the people who put him to bed.

I would be embarassed if someone saw a dummy in my 2 year olds mouth. Mortified in fact. The only time she needs the comforting feeling it gives us when going to sleep. So it lives in the cot.

I would therefore start with completely stopping all dummy use except when in bedroom. So allow for access whenever child wants, but must be in bedroom when having it. Then after a while, restrict further to when in bed only. Then sneak in during the night and remove dummy so it's not there upon waking.

She's about to go into Y1. It won't be long before people start having sleepovers. I would get rid now TBH.

Is she very young in other ways or is it just these couple of odd things?