5 year old still has a dummy and bottle: is it really that bad?

[Dangermouse559]

Hi all,

My DD is recently turned 5 years old and still has a bottle and dummy. She has a bottle of milk at just before bed at around 7:00 and doesn't have one any other time. She sleeps with about 5 dummies at night, she will have it during the day if she is upset, and sometimes has it in the car on long journeys.

Now I know that she is 'too old' for them, but she really does love her dummy and bottle. I am often reminded by family members or sometimes rude strangers that she shouldn't have them anymore but I just don't see why I should take them away.
I am aware of the argument that they damage teeth, but the dentist is happy with her teeth and didn't mention the dummy at all the times that we have visited.

I know that I'm not the only one that feels judged for allowing my child to have a dummy and bottle at this age so if anyone else is feeling the same way then your experience would be greatly appreciated. Generally I just want some support that I'm not a horrendous mother for let my DD have a dummy and bottle at 5
Thanks x

Thanks for the replies.
To answer a few questions; she is an only child and she lives with me only
She has gone the night without a bottle before but only on a few occasions
None of her friends from school know about it as she is very private about the dummy and bottle.

My 4yo has a bedtime bottle. It's the only way she will drink that volume of liquid. The dentist is not so worried as she drinks it all in one go, before teeth brushing. She was far more unimpressed with dc drinking juice!

"I am often reminded by family members or sometimes rude strangers that she shouldn't have them anymore"

Is she actually walking around with a dummy in her mouth? At 5?

No wonder people are judgy. I would be.

She no longer has a dummy outside the house and hasn't had for over a year. I was referring to past encounters. Maybe I wasn't very clear

As a teacher, the two children with the most severe speech issues I taught were both dummy users.

One girl had a dummy until she was at least 7 and spoke as if she had a cleft palate - by that I mean nasally as the dummy obstructed her mouth.

The other child used his younger brother's dummy til he was 6 and had very poor speech - didn't say the end of words (not a regional accent thing), didn't enunciate consonants , I genuinely struggled to understand his speech even late in the school year.

I hope this is not the case for your DD

DearMrDilkington, i had braces too so I know how bad it is, but her teeth are unaffected by the dummy or bottle

CaptainAmericasShield her speech is good for her age and she rarely talks with a dummy in her mouth so this isn't really an issue

Do you brush her teeth after her bedtime bottle? If so I suppose it shouldn't be much of an issue but I'd still think about getting rid of them.

Lowdoorinthewal1
She is a happy, healthy and otherwise 'normal' child.

My dd was speaking from an early age had no speech issues as long as they take the dummy out to speak it is fine. Dangermouse the milk in the bottle really isn't great for her teeth especially at night but tbh it isn't the worst thing in the world will she not take a cup "like a big girl"

It needs to stop ASAP, it might be comforting but you're changing the way your DDs teeth grow and if it's not changed anything yet (it most likely has even if you can't tell) it will when her adult teeth come through. Dummies can also cause lisps where the tongue becomes used to not hitting the roof of the mouth.
Also, milk before bed is bad for teeth too. Lactose (a sugar in dairy) sticks to the teeth and overnight bacteria feed on it and it can lead to tooth decay which isn't nice for anyone.
If your daughter is private about it then she probably knows she's too old for a dummy and bottle before bed and it might not be too hard to break the habit.
I don't mean to be horrible but it will save problems and like other people have said, she doesn't need to go without. You can replace the bottle with a lovely cup and the dummy with a nice blanket so she still has something in her bed to comfort her

DearMrDilkington
Yes I do, she is very good with tooth brushing which help a lot.

Oh please get her off them it's really really not fair to her. Her teeth and the fact it's ridiculous. It reeks of laziness on your part to be honest.

Sorry OP, didn't realise the dummy was only at night time so the effects on teeth will obviously not be as bad as the picture but it is a good example for what I was trying to explain, despite it not applying

Are you just going to wait for her to stop asking for her bottle ? Or do you want to stop giving her it

Kids suck blankies thumbs for comfort the dummy is just the same a comfort for bed

MrsJayy
I have tried to move her on to a cup before but she found it really difficult and I just thought that she will give it up in her own time.

Well , if she was a thumb sucker she would almost certainly still be doing it...
she obviously knows that it is unusual and is a bit self conscious about it.
Given that I would make a plan with her ... probably regarding weaning off the bottle first, perhaps with a small reward .
Then when bottle forgotten which I am sure will be quick Di something similar for the dummy ... the sucking in bed at night is an instinct and she might have to go cold turkey.

Difficult how? Are there develpmental problems that are making it hard or did she just get really upset?

I'm not anti dummy in the slightest (my two year old has hardly removed his all day) but five is too old for dummies and bottles, yes.

Gileswithachainsaw
She was very upset and I thought that it was unnecessary to put her through that.

If it's only at bedtime I don't really see the problem other than it might be embarrassing for her at sleep overs.

Maybe try taking her to pick a cup she really likes to keep especially for her milk before bed
That wat she's still got her bedtime routine but it wont be seen as so baby-ish

This makes me feel a tad better about DS still having bottles aged 2. He drinks everything else out of regular cups/beakers but will not have milk from anything but a bottle and loves it, I just can't be bothered right now to take away something that gives him so much comfort.

Dummies, I'm going to wait til he's nearer 3 than 2, and do the dummy fairy thing - don't think he has the comprehension at the mo.

DC2 due in Nov and I'll get them off the bottle ASAP!

Dummies I don't really care about, I remember my mum making me chuck them onto a bonfire when I was about 2 or 3, but then I sucked my thumb til I was about 18. Never had braces or a filling.

My son had bottles and dummies till 3. Very attached. Various family and health reasons I CBA getting into here, we didn't push him to get rid of before then. About 4 months before I did cold turkey ditching of them, I started this story with him. Bottles and dummies going to be taken away by Father Christmas in return for a special big kid present. Reminded him every few days or once a week. In December get a pretty gift bag. Collect all bottles, dummies etc and put them out for FC on Christmas Eve. After he was in bed, bag goes in the outside bin. Big exciting present on Christmas Day and all dummies and bottles gone in one shot. Not a single tear shed or a night's sleep lost. I have too much going on my life for unnecessary extra tears and upset from my kids when there's an easy solution. Win win.

Yes. It's bad. Can you stop it now, in the next few weeks?

Yes it really is quite bad, you need to be the parent and make a sensible decision in her best interest. It is not in her best interest to still be drinking from a bottle and sucking on a dummy age 5yo imo.