Under the sea or clouds and rainbows???

[MummyMiddleton]

Or baby boy is due on November 10th. We have a room for him but we don't want to buy and furniture or decor until we know what theme we are choosing. We are stuck between under the sea and clouds and rainbows. Both are equally cute.
We would paint the walls dark turquoise/aqua for under the sea and pale blue for clouds and rainbows. My mum has an art degree and will be painting the decor on top of the base colour (sea creatures and plants or clouds connected by rainbows).

If you had to choose, what would you go for?

But why is it not good for them? If a child needs a seeks comfort from their parents how is it bad to provide that?

It's true, science says so: www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/wildlife/9172937/Dolphins-resort-to-rape.html

You should also consider that merpeople are notorious co-sleepers. The under the sea theme is not going to model your ideal parenting dynamic at all.

Children usually have their own rooms. Thats how families normaly work, unless you are one of those hippy families that all get in a bed naked togther under your vegan bedset

Wrong very wrong. As someone so interested in evidence I'm surprised you didn't know that the majority of families the world over Share rooms and beds for years. Separate bed, room and routines are a very western idea. They are the norm in or society but amongst the human population as a whole it's actually not the norm.

Sirzy

Because they are not learning to regulate themseles. A skill they will need for life. Thats like saying "why does a child need to be potty trained? They can just wear nappies until they are 50"

But they are. In most cases that need becomes less and less as they get older. You don't hear of many 16 year olds sleeping in a bed with parents do you?

FormerlyFrikadela1

Surely children need to learn to regualte and manage themselves to some extent? Im not saying chuck em out in the woods with a spear. But surely they should be able to fall asleep without attention

Yes, that's the norm in the west. It's a relatively recent move though. More things for you to LOOK UP:

100 years ago entire families -often with 10 children or more - lived in 2 bed houses if they were lucky. It was common for adults and children to bedshare, just as it is today across most of the world.

British children are some of the most unhappy in the world. Coincidence?

Safe to say I wouldn't want you anywhere near my gorgeous, well-sleeping, occasionally bed sharing, bright child OP. In any capacity.

Sirzy

A child should be able to fall asleep in their own bed by age 2 or 3.

I watch supernanny a lot and she is an expert and one of the most talked about names in the industy. She has 20+ years behind her. She has an amazing stay in bed technique that works every single time. She has never failed a child.

1st time they get out of bed: "Its bedtime darling", put them back to bed with a kiss.

2nd time: "Bedtime". Put them back to bed with no kiss.

Every time after that say nothing and just put them to bed. Dont engage eye contact, just show them that you aint having no bs and its bedtime

If your looking up to supernanny then that is where you are going wrong!

On the potty training thing, research suggests that waiting for the child to be ready, so Potty learning is better in terms of speed and psychologically than than training (forcing) at the point a parent thinks is appropriate. Something to think about.

(Are BTECs well thought of these days? They weren't years ago.)

Super nanny is not a fucking expert. She hasn't any children for a fucking start. No doctorate or professorship. She can barely fucking speak properly!

TittyGolighty

Im following advice from my BTEC and Jo Frost. Are you saying you wouldnt want her anywhere near your child either?

What the hell do ypu think I would do? I have a different parenting style, doesnt mean I am a bad person or dangerous. Wtf is wrong with you?
Im just stricter than you, I still love my baby more than anything in the whole world

You're going g to get the shock of your life when your baby arrives. Poor little sod.

And her sleep method is basically "doesn't matter how upset you are or how much you need some love I am ignoring you"

I wouldn't piss on jo frost if she was on fire. No.

I went for dinner with my NCT group last night. 8 babies, all coming up 18 months old. Every one of them is sleeping through the night, in a cot, in their own rooms. Time taken to achieve this has varied and those that slept through from an early age all had regressions where sleep went to shit again temporarily.

All these babies were in with their parents until at least 6 months, all but one have coslept at some point, most slept on parents in the early days, most were breastfed (one still is) and most have had some form of gentle sleep training at some point (but certainly not under 6 months old).

We all had different approaches but they've all resulted in happy babies that can self settle and sleep through the night independently.

Ah all becomes clear. Yes of course that bedtime routine works. tell that to my sister who was still "putting to bed" at 4 in the morning using that exact technique for over a week with her 3 year old. She gave in and just let her get in bed with her. My lovely neice stopped co-sleeping of her own accord about 6 months later. When she was ready. She is now the most confident 6 year old I've ever met. The week of supernanny techniques nearly broke my sister, co-sleeping was the much less stressful and kinder option.

I agree with Sirzy, you are treating this baby as some kind of sociological experiment. And doing X because you have a fear of Y possibly, maybe happening some years hence is not a good starting point.

Take weaning. I know people, myself included, who started as we meant to go on, lots of lumps, flavours and textures etc. Kids tried everything. Bloody marvellous, we thought, we did that right. And then they hit three years old and overnight no lumps, only smooth, and you find yourself making whizzed-up, hidden veg pasta sauce that you've never done before. Why, oh why??, we cried. Because it's a developmental stage, toddlers can become highly suspicious of their food. (I did look it up at the time, can't remember, something to do with them being more aware of their surroundings and it's a survival thing. Or summat.)

Jo Frost?? Well, good luck with that!

I think shes a goddamn saint. She shows children a good balance of care and leadership. Children need to know that their parents are in charge, but also that they love and support them.

Parents should be able to put their foot down but also be able to see when a child is upset or needs a cuddle or a chat. Children should not be pandered too and have all their problems solved by their parents, they need to learn to think for themselves and regulate their own emotions. But their parents are always there if they need someone to go to or just need some tlc.

Always there if they need someone to go to unless that's during then night. Then you can sod off and fend for yourself!

Dont forget, as a parent your job isnt just to make your child happy. You are preparing them for life, you are their biggest teacher and leader. Thats a responsibility that you have to take seriously.