Under the sea or clouds and rainbows???

[MummyMiddleton]

Or baby boy is due on November 10th. We have a room for him but we don't want to buy and furniture or decor until we know what theme we are choosing. We are stuck between under the sea and clouds and rainbows. Both are equally cute.
We would paint the walls dark turquoise/aqua for under the sea and pale blue for clouds and rainbows. My mum has an art degree and will be painting the decor on top of the base colour (sea creatures and plants or clouds connected by rainbows).

If you had to choose, what would you go for?

We dont see him as a science experiment, we just want him to have the best upbringing possible. And using my BTEC and other sourses we think we can create that. We want the best for him so he becomes well behaved, loved, kind and an indipendent thinker.

Clouds and rainbows

ineedwine99

Thank you for some nice fresh optimism. Needed some positivity in this thread :)

Also, I dont know why my last comment sent twice

We are doing whats best for our baby. Its good for a baby to get love and attention, but over attatchment can cause seperation anxiety at older ages. Seperation anxiety is horrible for everyone imvolved, especially the child.

Separation anxiety is a normal part of development. As their primary care giver they of course feel anxiety at being separated from you (meaning parents not specifically mother's). Problematic separation anxiety is believed to be more common in children with parents who also suffer anxiety disorders.

Stress is great for babies. Even teeny tiny ones. It stops them becoming over attached.

Separation anxiety is normal, but is painful for both carer and child. So surely trying to keep it at bay as much as possible is best for everyone?

Please come back to this thread when you've got a newborn baby asleep on your chest whilst you're playing mine craft at 3am!

Good luck with putting a newborn down awake, I think mine was a few months old before he stopped falling asleep whilst feeding. We used to have to strip him naked and tickle his feet to get him awake enough to take milk.

I'm pleased you've decided to keep him in your room to start with though.

Wow. A BTEC? The experts must quake on their boots.

A childcare course isn't meant to prepare you for parenthood, btw.

TittyGolighty

What?

You should always try to remain calm when tending to a baby. They will feel safer and more relaxed.

About the whole over attathment thing, I just meant you shouldnt get to the point where your LO sticks to you like glue. No attatchment is neglect and is just as bad.

Its all about BALANCE. Just like everything in life.

It's part of development FFS. Not an optional extra.

Ds was a textbook baby until he was 8 weeks old. Then it all went to pot and for reasons no amount of "training" would solve he still rarely sleeps through at 7 years old!

The problem with being so prescriptive in expectations is that when things go wrong it is a long way to fall!

Stress comment was extreme sarcasm.

You don't seem to understand the basics of attachment. It's about being a secure base for the child. Look it up.

TittyGolighty

No its not, but it helps you understand child development and how to be successful when dealing with babies and children

Separation anxiety is normal, but is painful for both carer and child. So surely trying to keep it at bay as much as possible is best for everyone?

Well yes and no. It was painful for my child for all of 5 minutes. I personally dont find it painful because I understand it's normal and that my son picks up on my cues no matter how subtle so me reacting and finding it painful wouldnt help.
However I acknowledge that I'm lucky I have a fairly relaxed child, again my next door neighbour could do absolutely everything the same as me and had different outcomes. Which is kind of what people are saying, don't make assumptions based on a child you know and what you've learnt in your btec. Caring for children in a professional capacity is entriely different to raising them.

I was a bit like you. I was dead against co-sleeping, thought a few hours of sleep would be fine etc. The reality has been my baby really suffered with wind and for a good few weeks (or months) would only sleep on me. She is now 7 months and happily sleeps in her cot during the day. We still co-sleep at night because she breastfeeds and this gives us both the best night sleep. Sleep wise, it wasn't that I only got four hours that was the killer, it was that that four hours was spread through the night. The disrupted sleep is a different kettle of fish.

Aside from that, I think I'd go for clouds and rainbows. I had that as a child and loved it.

Congrats on your pregnancy and hope you are enjoying it.

I've a degree in psychology, dear. You need to look up attachment. Start with the "strange situation" research and go from there.

Seamton

He wont know about our expectations. Its not like im going to say "you're developmentally delayed, well done" to him. We will still love him no matter what. We just want to help him blossom in the best way we can.

Secure attachment is based on knowing your caregiver will always be there, so you are safe to explore and come back. The best thing for young babies' brain development is to respond to them straight away and be close to them lots. They can't regulate their cortisol so need someone external to do so. You can't spoil a baby with too many cuddles. Also it's not that difficult to change things as they grow. At various points we made changes to DDs sleep e.g. Go to sleep in cot, night wean and it would take a few nights. I personally feel that's better than weeks of upset baby trying to do something before they are ready. DD is 15m and still has some nights she needs to be cuddled to sleep but most she doesn't.

BendingSpoons

I guess you have a point. It would be ok if I knew he was going to adapt when we wanted to change. But what we are scared of is it going horribly, horribly wrong and we end up with a toddler or even school aged kid sleeping in our bed on a regular basis

Dolphins are rapists.

Go with clouds and rainbows.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza

What the fuck? XD

So you get comfort from sleeping with another person, but how dare a baby or child? How odd.

I don't think for a second it's your intention but you are sounding rather cold and clinical in all of this.

Please do take some time to listen to what people are saying. The good thing about Mumsnet is the wide range of parenting experiences that you can access. So when the majority are all saying very similar then often it is worth considering they could have a point.

Because its not good for them. A nursery or school aged child should be sleeping in their own bed.

A romantic/sexual partner will come later in his life. We get to sleep toether because we are a couple. Children usually have their own rooms. Thats how families normaly work, unless you are one of those hippy families that all get in a bed naked togther under your vegan bedset