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Original poster

Under the sea or clouds and rainbows???

711 replies

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 15:21

Or baby boy is due on November 10th. We have a room for him but we don't want to buy and furniture or decor until we know what theme we are choosing. We are stuck between under the sea and clouds and rainbows. Both are equally cute.
We would paint the walls dark turquoise/aqua for under the sea and pale blue for clouds and rainbows. My mum has an art degree and will be painting the decor on top of the base colour (sea creatures and plants or clouds connected by rainbows).

If you had to choose, what would you go for?

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Sirzy · 07/07/2017 13:36

Do they work long term? And what is leaving a child to cry and scream actually teaching them? If they do work then that comes at the cost of "may as well not cry as nobody comes anyway" and to me that's not a loving message to give.

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:39

Sirzy

But they are attention seeking. Obviously as a newborn they cry for a reason. But a 3 year old who wakes up constantly is just bad habbit. They dont need food or stuff that newborns need in the night, they are just bored and want attention and it can soon spiral out of control if they get what they want.

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Sirzy · 07/07/2017 13:42

They want love. They want attention. Nothing wrong with that.

A lot wrong with leaving them shouting and screaming and teaching them they will be ignored.

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Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:45

Sirzy

Its ok for them to want love and attention. But night time isnt the appropreate time for that. Everyone needs sleep so they can play in the morning. I would take the child back to bed and give them a kiss and a cuddle and maybe sit with them for a couple of minutes but then leave them to sleep. In there own bed. If the child genuinely had attatchment issues, I would get them something of mine of DHs like a piece of clothing or something that smells like us to sleep with

OP posts:
Parker231 · 07/07/2017 13:45

Do you not think that if Jo Frost's approach worked, everyone would not have tried it? Personally I think some of her ideas on crying and punishments are cruel and not ones I would want to use on my DC's.

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:46

Sirzy

Out of intrest, do you always give your kids whatever they want?

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:46

If your room is too hot for you to sleep, are you attention seeking?

If you have a bad dream, are you attention seeking?

If you need the toilet in the night, are you attention seeking?

If you are thirsty at night, are you attention seeking?

If you are hungry at night, are you attention seeking?

If you feel lonely at night - and you have no concept of how much more night there is -, are you attention seeking?

If you're upset at night about something that happened in the day, are you attention seeking?

If you're worried about something that's going to be happening tomorrow, are you attention seeking?

If you're in pain at night, are you attention seeking?

If you're shattered but can't sleep because the neighbours are having a party, there's a helicopter flying overhead or a house alarm going off, are you attention seeking?

Smeaton · 07/07/2017 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 07/07/2017 13:47

Far from it. But I do think of what is right for him and not what my ideal little vision says things should be like!

But hey if you think leaving a child to scream at night and some of your other crazy ideas are the way to go good luck to you you will need it

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:48

Parker

They seem cruel. But dont forget, little ones cry very easily. A small child might be showing an extreme reaction to us as adults, but they probably are not even that upset. They are just being kids and kids have tantrums over stupid shit

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:48

Out of intrest, do you always give your kids whatever they want?

Yes. Absolutely. I've just ordered DD a Red Arrow because she wants one.

FFS of course not.

But I will never refuse her comfort. Doesn't matter how old she gets or how often she needs it. And she knows that. Which makes her feel secure enough to ask for it.

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:49

Titty

So when she is 10, or 13, or 18 you will let her in your bed every night because she wants comfort.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:49

kids have tantrums over stupid shit

NO. Kids have tantrums because they have emotions they don't understand or know how to control. If you don't know how to do something, is it stupid?

Seriously OP, get your head out of Jo Frost's arse and start reading things by people that know about child development!

EssieTregowan · 07/07/2017 13:49

But her methods don't work for all children!

And it would be a cold day in hell before I left any child of mine screaming, at any age.

Did you know that when young babies 'cry themselves to sleep' what they've actually done is pass out? It's a stress reaction. And the only reason they eventually learn not to cry is because they learn it's futile.

It's barbaric. Why would you want to teach your kid that you won't meet their needs?

Sirzy · 07/07/2017 13:50

Do you hear of many 18 year olds wanting to sleep with the parents? Hmm or even 10 year olds

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:50

And there is a difference between a child who is genuinely in need of something and a child who has learned that they can get away with it and is just putting it on.

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TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:51

She isn't in my bed every night at 6..........

But yes, when she's unwell, upset or anxious I'd rather she was close.

And it's brilliant not needing a separate bed when you go to hotels/friends houses etc. :)

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:51

Titty

But surely its a parents job to give them a backbone and help them learn about their emotions? Not just coddle them at the slightest sniffle

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:52

Fucking hell.

Sirzy · 07/07/2017 13:52

And how does ignoring them help them learn about their emotions? Other than tell them they are something to be suppressed.

TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:52

At 3?

TittyGolightly · 07/07/2017 13:53

I am this close to phone by social services and the kid isn't even here yet.

OP, you're coming across as a monster right now.

Original poster
MummyMiddleton · 07/07/2017 13:54

Titty

Being unwell or genuinely anxious is very different to attention seeking. If Daniel was poorly or actually scared or upset, of course we would let him sleep with us. But children are extremely good at getting what they want by using all the excuses under the sun.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 07/07/2017 13:55

But even when they are using an "excuse" that is often because they don't yet have the emotional maturity to verbalise properly what they need but they know the "excuse" will help them get what they need.

Parker231 · 07/07/2017 13:56

Mine slept well as babies, dreadfully as toddlers and credibly well as teenagers. When you have a 3 year old getting up to come into your bed at 3am every night, I will bet that you will not be carrying them back to their own bed every few minutes until you have to get up for work at 6.30. They do this because they are 3 years old, not because they are naughty or having a trantrum. When they were 13 they loved their beds and had to be dragged out each morning.

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