Under the sea or clouds and rainbows???

[MummyMiddleton]

Or baby boy is due on November 10th. We have a room for him but we don't want to buy and furniture or decor until we know what theme we are choosing. We are stuck between under the sea and clouds and rainbows. Both are equally cute.
We would paint the walls dark turquoise/aqua for under the sea and pale blue for clouds and rainbows. My mum has an art degree and will be painting the decor on top of the base colour (sea creatures and plants or clouds connected by rainbows).

If you had to choose, what would you go for?

It was similar to this one: www.ebay.co.uk/itm/272748108402

Oh god. The thread continues. Clearly the op was bored 🙄

I think the OP is winding you all up now 😀

I'm not sure if it is a wind up, we had kids at the same time as my husband's brothers and I can remember us all chatting and saying "I mean, how hard can it be!?" Very very fucking hard is the answer!

I think OP has 'done her research' but hasn't got the full picture yet..

Im not bored, I just dont let things go easily. If someone says something to me that even slightly annoys me I have to sort it out, otherwise it makes me anxious until I do something about it. Its stupid, I know. But I cannot let something be if I disagree with it

I think you should consider that people who actually have had babies might know more about it than you OP. You are really rubbing people up the wrong way by saying things like 'breast feeding issue can be resolved by using a simple pump' things are really not as straightforward as you are expecting them to be.

It's really difficult to establish breastfeeding. The baby basically wants to be attached to your boob constantly for the first few weeks so not sure where you would fit in pumping, plus you are not meant to pump and bottle feed until breast feeding is established as baby can favour the bottle. Your baby could not take a bottle, or you could not be able to express. One things for sure.. it's certainly not simple!

which is solved by using a simple pump.

This just shows how naive you really are.

I thought breastfeeding would be easy. Until my DS was 3 days old and had lost 12% of his body weight due to breastfeeding problems. I have flat nipples and he was born with an upper lip tie and posterior tomgue tie. All things I hadn't even thought about when pregnant. DS was readmitted at 3 days as his blood sugar was dangerously low, he had jaundice and an infection. We were in hospital for a week.

I tried so hard to express. I pumped every 3 hours for 6 bloody weeks and it almost tipped me over the edge. By the time DS was fed, changed, settled and I'd sat being fucking milked it was time to start all over again. Plus I hardly got anything out. I spent ages obsessing over how much milk I'd got out and whether DS had enough. Also where he'd been so ill I was constantly stressed about him having enough and whether he was putting on weight.

Yes DH could have fed DS while I expressed and he did. However my urge to feed DS myself was stronger than I ever imagined and at times DS only wanted me.

It wasn't until my HV saw me at around 6 weeks and realised that I was very close to PND and was running myself into the ground that she advised me to stop. It was the worse time of my life and really affected my first weeks with DS. I still get tearful when I think back to those days and I felt like an absolute failure.

Please don't just assume that it's a simple pump and don't assume that all will go exactly as planned.

My sister couldn't pump either. I could, but DD wouldn't take a bottle!

OP, with all due respect, you need to stop being so rigid and dictatorial and you need to learn to let things go. Because in this instance the first means the second isn't going to happen - you are still being really inflexible with people who, annoying though it may feel, have already been through this, many more than once. And you are going to come across parents who do things differently and say things that annoy you throughout your son's life.

My planned home birth became a hospital induction and forceps delivery. They pulled so hard that DD's jaw was dented. Amazingly, she wasn't very interested in feeding whilst she had a sore face. Hence the pumping. Which, luckily, I was okay with. But it could very easily have been different.

If parenting teaches you anything it's that you need to be flexible and not have very fixed ideas.

oh good it's moving again

fwiw I am EBF, no expressing. I didn't have any particular plans other than to give breastfeeding my best shot (and it's gone really smoothly, everything is established and my 6lb8 wet noodle is now a rotund ~12lbs) but, such is the manner in which the attachment and the hormones have hit me like a ton of bricks, i don't want anyone else to feed him! i couldn't bear it!! it's such a special thing... as mother to breastfeed your baby. and fuck equality. when it comes to carrying a baby, giving birth to a baby, caring for a newborn... we are not equal and I would not want us to be as every cell in my body wants to care for the baby, look at the baby, touch the baby. honestly i start to feel weird if i haven't looked at the baby for a while! so luckily i and DP didn't have any rigid expectations and i hadn't given out any ideas that in the crazy reality of motherhood would have caused me a great deal of stress to follow through on. i just think you are setting yourself up for an unhappy time when things don't go by the book when you should be enjoying every moment and most importantly trusting your instincts as his mum.

anchor9

Just because I am his mum doesnt mean I am always right. And DH will want to touch and do everything with him too. Do you expect him just to take a back seat? Daniel is as much his baby as he is mine and he loves him just as much. DH would die just so our baby didnt have to feel one ounce of sadness

Maybe it helps that DH isnt very masculine and he knows it. He crys very easily, he is very cuddly and sensitive. He never has been a manly/blokey guy. He sings to Daniel in my womb, he gives him a goidnight kiss every night. He even said he loves Daniel more than anything in the whole world, even me. (Which is fine, you should love your baby more than your partner). He is so in love and he hasnt even seen Daniel yet. As a family, we are one unit. One entity. No one is above anyone else or in charge and no one gets the last word. We comprimise on everything and we have never had a single fight in the 10 years we have been seeing eachother.

We are not just husband and wife, we are best friends. No one knows me like he does, not even my own parents. And no one knows him like I do, not even his own parents. We share everything.

Thats why we both want to be Daniels primary carers. I believe in parenting that neither parent should rule the roost. Its a shared thing that wont work unless you see eye to eye. We want Daniel feel comftorble coming to either of us if he is worried or upset. My parents divorced when I was 6, but because of the bond me and my dad built up in those six years, I am just as happy going to him for confort, even now, as my mum. They both understand me so well and I love them equally. If I had to choose whether to let my mum die or my dad, I would kill myself.

You know your DH isn't the only one to love their baby that much. I'm 1,000,000% certain that my DH loves feels the same about our son.
We also don't really argue and the only time we did was when we had a newborn refluxy screaming baby and got zero sleep and snapped at each other.

I agree with pp, stop being so rigid and hell bent on doing things a certain way. Take advice from people that have actually had babies before. You can read as many books as you like but you cannot beat actual experience. Seriously. You're going to be in for a shock.

Good luck to you

This thread started out under the sea and has now finally jumped the shark.

Drama

It's actually bonkers. I'm not sure what I'm reading. I think op has a few things she needs to get off her chest

Again, biology couldn't give a crap about any of that. Not can evolution.

You're living in your social construct. And that's great. But it doesn't affect biology. There are things your partner can't do, no matter how much he wants to. And that's okay. You don't have to do 50% of every task in order to have an equal relationship.

DH and I have a business. He does the programming (what with being qualified for it) and I do the accounts and management (which I'm qualified for). He's had to work away and had very limited time with DD when she was a baby, but their bond couldn't be stronger. You can't control every aspect of life all the time.

You really do need to let up a bit.

TittyGolighty

Apart from breastfeeding, tell me things he cant do. Im waiting lol..

He has two arms and love in his heart, he can look after a baby.

You really do make it sound like your dh is the first man to ever love his child. My DP loves our son,they have an amazing bond like I said previously at the moment my DS seems to favour dp over me. However the reality is that in those first few months I was his primary care giver because that's what he wanted. That isn't to say my DP didn't do his share, he did of course, bit ultimately he had to eventually go back to work and I had all this time at home recovering and looking after DS.
You might both work at home but presumably in the initial few weeks your dh will be doing all the work whilst you recover so obviously youll initially be his primary carer.

Actaully no, I intend to do my part in the business too. Its our business that we built together. It would be unfair to leave all the workload to him, even if we do have a baby. We will take turns doing business and baby duties. I might not be able to do as much manual stuff (lifting boxes, etc) because I will still be in pain after labour. But I can still do accounts and asministrations

I think you need to be more realistic and allow your body time to recover.

From some of your comments I am worried you are determined to do too much too soon which isn't a healthy attitude

Of course he isnt the first man to love his child. But he isnt your typical bloke. He is emotional and sensitive to the point where it is unusuall and out of the norm. But thats what makes him such a sweet person. Hes just one of those kind people who would get along with anyone.

"He crys very easily"
^^

Probably wondering wtf he has got himself into

You sound insufferable

My DH was a light sleeper too, until the baby came along and he suffdenly slept really well where as I was awake at every squeak! dont under estimate how constant broken sleep can affect you. It's very different to just getting a few hours and waking yourself up. It's also very different waking yourself naturally to being woken by a screaming baby when you only nodded off half an hour before.

also be prepared to not like your DH very much. Lack of sleep can test the best of relationships