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Parenting

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Original poster

what's life like with four?

67 replies

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:18

We have 3dd's and are planning number four.Everyone seems to think we are either mad or desperate for a boy,neither of which are true we would just love a forth child.Can anyone give me any insight as to what life is like with four?is it really that different to three?

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emat · 20/03/2007 10:22

I don't have 4 (only 2) but I am a fourth child and I'm obviously delighted that my mother decided to have me
'Course then, the mad woman, decided to wait till I was 8 and have another 2.
My brother has 4 and I've just come back from a weekend staying in their house. It was very noisy and there was a lot of laundry and clearing up but such fun! Never a dull moment.

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:28

Thanks emat, our house is very noisy and fun with three already so my guess is that it won't change that much!

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DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 10:36

The main change from three to four is the car you will need to go anywhere as a family. Otherwise, it is pretty easy to make the change.

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McDreamy · 20/03/2007 10:39

Just out of interest (sorry for the slight hijack!) what's it like going from 2 to 3? Is 3 that much different?

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:40

Thanks,we already have an MPV so no problem there and I found going from two to three easy so I am thinking it won't be too much different.

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Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:43

Hi McDreamy,I found it much easier going from 2 to 3 than 1 to 2 I think once I had got used to 2 three wasn't much different although now when they are playing there is usually an odd one out which can cause problems with arguments.

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Browny · 20/03/2007 10:45

I've got four, two dd's and two ds's. Our house is never quiet, the door bell never stops ringing with their friends calling to play and the laundry... well... I've got the washing machine repair man coming tomorrow if that tells you anything, but it's never dull and I wouldn't have it any other way .

McDreamy · 20/03/2007 10:45

Thanks for your honesty - DH and I are considering it. I'm so unsure but at the same time feel that our family isn't quite complete! DH away at the moment and while he is away I am supposed to be having my coil removed and preparing for his return needless to say I haven't even made an appointment with my GP yet!

MegaLegs · 20/03/2007 10:46

Four is like living in a whirlwind. I have four boys aged 7,5,3 and 20months and it is pandemonium but I love it.

There are times when I think it's all going to get too much (DS4 has SN so needs lot's more attention) but with lots of support from DH and family we survive.

Get used to making an entrance wherever you go. We never seem to be able to just nip in quietly anywhere, our close friends call us 'rent a crowd.'

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:56

Thanks for the replies,the only thing I worry about is having enough time for all of them.I just keep telling myself(and them) that they will thank me when they are adults and (hopefully) all support each other through life like me and my sister.

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DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 10:59

I have to say I found the switch from 2 to 3 the hardest. When you have 2, you and your partner have one child each or, when you are out on your own with the children, you have one hand for each child. When you have 3, suddenly there doesn't seem to be enough adults around or enough hands. That was just my personal experience though. I ad three children under the age of 4 which might have coloured my experience too!

The switch from 3 to 4 is nothing though. By your fourth, you are such a pro, the HVs are asking you for advice!

One thing I would say though: our doorbell is not constantly ringing with friends calling on my children. Mainly this is because we have moved many times so my children are not used to old friends who feel as comfortable at our house as their own, but it also has a lot to do with the fact that my children play all the time with each other and don't need friends for company/entertainment.

DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 11:01

And yes, Chocolateaddict, you are very astute: the hardest thing is having time for all of them. The only time I feel any pressure with my four children it is when they all need help with homework and one wants you to play x with them and you have no time to do any of it. I do think then, that if I had 2 children, life would be a lot easier.

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 11:09

I think that taking them out on your own is the hardest bit and probrably why my 3.5 yr old still goes everywhere in a pushchair!Anyway I think I have now been convinced to go for it despite getting pi**ed off with everyone around me saying "you must be mad".

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LadyTophamHatt · 20/03/2007 11:11

Going from 3-4 has been the easiest increase so far....by a long long way.

It's great having four, I highly recommend it

DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 11:50

Chocolateaddict - you have to put up with the "are you mad?" comments. They are par for the course once you are pregnant with no. 4!

LadyTophamHatt · 20/03/2007 11:51

yes Dg, along with "Ohhh you;re going to be busy"

Nemo2007 · 20/03/2007 11:57

Didnt you find those are you mad comments with 3 though???I did although all of mine are very young. Would love to have another but for us it means a new car and a new house neither of which is possible at this moment in time! Plus the youngest is only 2mths..lol

Muminfife · 20/03/2007 12:17

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AnAngelWithin · 20/03/2007 12:20

yes the main change is the car. Plus a lot of places have just accepted that family tickets comprise of up to 3 children, so a 4th means extra to pay.

tbh, once you have had 3, 4 is no different.

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 12:21

Yes Nemo people did say that when I announced No 3 was on the way.People who know me should know that I was never gonna just have one or two!Also i have left a longer gap this time which makes it a bit easier, at the mo they are 8,6&3 and it will be at least a year by the time I actually get pregnant and have the baby.Hopefully as they are girls they will be willing to help out abit.

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Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 12:24

muminfife,you are quite right I work with someone who has just had number 7 and I would never dream of telling her she was mad,it has nothing to do with me.

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lou33 · 20/03/2007 12:29

i guess i am the only one who finds 4 hard work then, and think there is a big difference going up from 3

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 12:40

tell me more Lou I know that everyone is different and that everyone has different lives but I would really appreciate any advice here.

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lou33 · 20/03/2007 19:08

i'm not sure i have any answers, maybe my situation is different, as i never really wanted 4 kids (much as i love them all dearly), and my youngest is disabled, so i probably have to do more than most parents of 4 do iyswim.

they are great kids, but it's just hard work, my oldest is almost 15 and my youngest is 6,the range of emotions with that age span usually ensures some drama or other is going on

it's noisy, messy, more expensive (food bills, clothing, birthdays christmas, that kind of stuff), going away or out for the day is like army maneouvres, you need so much and it takes such planning

i am always tired and often short tempered, and as i have so many they dont get as much attention as they probably should.

i feel like eor's raincloud, telling you all this !

LittleSarah · 20/03/2007 19:12

Great, but manic and noisy and no doubt, hard work!

I only have one but am one of four - the eldest. We were only meant to be three but the last lot were two for the price of one which was a big shock for my parents I am sure!

I am eight years older than the youngest two so I was able to help out a lot and really enjoyed having the wee ones around. Although finanically it was a struggle.

Lots of arguments of course but lots of fun and games too.

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