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Original poster

what's life like with four?

67 replies

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:18

We have 3dd's and are planning number four.Everyone seems to think we are either mad or desperate for a boy,neither of which are true we would just love a forth child.Can anyone give me any insight as to what life is like with four?is it really that different to three?

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Bubble99 · 20/03/2007 19:13

I agree that going from 3 to 4 has been the easiest increase yet.

Lou, I can imagine that it must be a lot harder work for you.

It is a lot of fun. Knackering, but fun.

I still get a bit shocked when all four boys are in one room together.

Miaou · 20/03/2007 19:33

Will let you know in July

Have to say, even though ds came along 6 years after dd2, I found it much easier to slip back into the nappies/sleepless nights bit than I expected. Am slightly nervous about going through sleep deprivation with a bouncy toddler in tow this time, but figure I managed with dd1 and dd2 (similar age gap) so we should survive!

PrincessPeaHead · 20/03/2007 19:45

I have 4, aged 9, 6, 3 and 1. I agree that there isn't much change from 3 to 4 in terms of being able to cope with lots of children etc but I think ther eARE some differences that I've noticed.

1- logistics. You can't get all of you in a normal car, obviously. But it is a pain having to attempt to hire MPVs etc everytime you go on holiday because they either don't have them or they cost a fortune. It also means that anyone else that you may want to lug your kids around (eg your parents) will need a car that seats all of them. It is just a bit of a pain.

2 - holidays. going anywhere, doing anything, costs a fortune. And hotels are tricky, because you HAVE to have interconnecting rooms and you HAVE to have at least one child with you at all times. Somehow with 3 children you can even almost get away with one room sometimes (eg if there are 2 double beds and a cot or rollaway) but with 4 forget it.

3 - juggling. there just is a lot more of it. as the older ones get older and need to be in different places at different times, you begin to think that you are a taxi service, and you start feeling really sorry for the little one who spends his/her life in the car. And you DO look at people with 2 kids and think "your life is just a piece of piss"

4 - school. it will go on FOREVER. you will have an extra X years of school runs, you'll have to do biffkipperchipfluffy AGAIN, it is another round of school plays, sports days, geography projects etc etc etc. Good fun the first time, OK the second, boring the third, by the fourth you JUST DON'T CARE about any of it as long as he/she goes in the morning, comes back in the afternoon and doesn't take drugs in the middle. Or at least that's what I can see from here, I only have 3 at school so far!

5 - sleep. I don't know about you, but after basically 10 years of broken nights due to pregnancy, baby, toddler, pregnancy, baby, toddler, pregnancy, baby, toddler, pregnancy, baby, toddler I'm about ready for some late-sleeping teenagers. Only 12 years to go then

So all in all it is great, but a little bit grinding and knackering and repetitive. My dh looked at me at 5 am on Sunday morning when the little one woke up and said "do you think she is the straw that broke the camel's back?!"
He was joking, but only partly!

Good luck

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LadyTophamHatt · 20/03/2007 19:51

PPH, no4 is spot on....actually I feel like that already and only have 2 at school.

Watching another xmas carol service last year was...ummm...shall we say...errr tiresome.

By the time Ds4 is there I'll be making Ds1 go for me

lou33 · 20/03/2007 19:51

lol pph, your fourth point about school made me chuckle, it is spot on

LadyTophamHatt · 20/03/2007 19:52

see 2 of us can't be wrong!!!

lou33 · 20/03/2007 19:54

i do have all 4 at school , i think pph has been spying on me

Spidermama · 20/03/2007 19:55

I love having four. It means symmetry around the table. It makes it easier to cut portions. They pair off to play.

Three always felt like one short to me.

Beetrootccio · 20/03/2007 19:57

we have four 3 boys and a girl. it is bloody busy and you have to be on the ball to make sure everyting is ready, they are ready, spellings, erc etc - BUT they are great mates and we have a real laugh together.

they are all at school now but 4 of 5 and under was very hard - for a year or so!

DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 19:58

Oh yes another mother of four who agrees with PPH's fourth point. I feel a bit guilty about that actually. My youngest is at playgroup now so I am seeing lots of first time parents at close quarters, all so charmed by each new experience that their child's first steps into education is bringing to them, and all I feel is yawn! BORING! how many more beans in a jar can I be bothered to put on the window sill?

Now that might sound horrible of me, but actually, I think it might help ds3 when he starts school in September. I was so down the throats of ds1 and ds2 when they went to school, wanting to know about their education, so aware of where they were in relation to their classmates (in terms of achievement) etc, that I know I have been quite pushy and probably made them fearful of failure. With dd I was far more relaxed and with ds3, I think I will be even more relaxed, so I think the younger two will enjoy their school experiences more.

Spidermama · 20/03/2007 19:59

Beetroot I have three boys and a girl too.

Miaou · 20/03/2007 19:59

I sometimes wonder if I am a slave to symmetry . I was happy enough with two for years, but as soon as we had ds we decided to have a fourth - like you say Spidermama, three just seemed wrong!

DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 19:59

Me too! All the best Mums do!

Beetrootccio · 20/03/2007 20:00

I went to parents evening for three and four this week - and realsied I had NOT DONE any spellings with three all year - and it showed!

Spidermama · 20/03/2007 20:01

Also the youngest one gets loads of nurturing from his/her older siblings so you don't have to feel too guilty about having less time for him or her.

You need to get organised though. Try to get the older ones helping and clearing up after themselves etc. I think it's pretty good experience all round and as someone once said to me, the greatest gift you can give your kids is siblings.

Beetrootccio · 20/03/2007 20:01

is your girl last? and does everyone ask if you kept going for a gilr?

'No she was a mistake'

DumbledoresGirl · 20/03/2007 20:02

No fortunately I avoided that particular irritating comment. My dd is third. Even so, I think some people still think I was trying for a second girl when I went for my fourth. Some people seem to spend their entire lives trying to justify why those of us with four had the fourth!

Spidermama · 20/03/2007 20:03

My girl is first beets. Then boy, boy, boy.

People say, 'Another boy. Nevermind'

Beetrootccio · 20/03/2007 20:04

yes we had that with ds3.

Angeliz · 20/03/2007 20:07

I have three but know i will want another one soon so this is interesting.
I am getting married this year so have to restrain myself till then as i already have my dress!
I find life with three SO much more hectic than life with 2. I love it though. Can't wait to have more.
I missed that programme last night about big families but caught the end saying that a couple were trying for number 14!!

Angeliz · 20/03/2007 20:08

I had 2 dd's then a boy and it was all i got when pregnant with the third. After the looks of horror and pity ( it was PLANNED i hear myself saying again!), 'oh i bet you want a boy'

lou33 · 20/03/2007 20:14

i had 2 girls then 2 boys, i get loads of people saying "ooh how clever" as if i did it on purpose!

Olihan · 20/03/2007 20:24

Ooh, this is timely for me too.

Beetroot, what's it REALLY like having 4 under 5? I've got 3 at the mo but am desperate for a 4th, like Spidermama says, I just don't feel like 3 is enough. But, and it's a big but, dh isn't keen as we've had 3 in 3 years (ds1 & dd have 19 months between them, dd and ds2 have 16 months). I wouldn't want more than a 22 month gap (me, dh, ds1 and ds2 all have birthdays in Dec so can't have another one then!) so it would have to be 4 under 5. How do you manage? Ds1 and dd would be at school/preschool and we're about to move to the same village as PILs so I'd have plenty of support around. Is it absolute chaos? What are the pros because dh's list of cons is longer than my pros!!

Beetrootccio · 20/03/2007 20:29

it is bloddy hard work. take all the help you can and some. the first year was hard but then it cvallmed down. The logistics were ridiculous - school pick ups were an outing.

Beetrootccio · 20/03/2007 20:29

actually had one at school, one at playgroup until 12 an d2 at home.

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