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Parenting

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Original poster

what's life like with four?

67 replies

chocolateaddict · 20/03/2007 10:18

We have 3dd's and are planning number four.Everyone seems to think we are either mad or desperate for a boy,neither of which are true we would just love a forth child.Can anyone give me any insight as to what life is like with four?is it really that different to three?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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lou33 · 20/03/2007 20:32

i had 3 under 5 and one at school for a while, that was tough going

mrschaff · 20/03/2007 20:50

I have 2 teenagers 1 toddler and a baby so yes life is pretty hectic and I agree you're a taxi driver one minute,childrens entertainer the next and all with a baby constantly hanging off your tits.Would not change a thing though

wanderingstar · 20/03/2007 22:49

Ha ha yes the school thing ! Noticing already that dd (3rd child) basically does her own spellings, music practice etc., without me. great for her independence but rubbish for my involvement...hurray !

Please look at parenting thread for my question re a mother with a pfb whose child is at playgroup with my no.4, who says a quick goodbye to me in the mornings before I embrace my 3 hours of freedom.

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JanH · 20/03/2007 23:04

Mine are spread out more than most - eldest 11, youngest nearly 5 when 4th was born so lots of willing helpers and entertainers and we all think having 4 kids is great. When DS2 was a toddler DD2 was 10-ish and her friends used to line up for the privilege of coming round for tea and playing with him! (We could have charged admission )

Four just felt like the right number and they all like each other and usually get on brilliantly.

The older 3 are all over 18 now and it's lovely still having one coming in from school, even though he never tells me anything (girls so much better than boys for gossip) - definitely keeps me in touch and saves me turning into a complete old fogey.

Nightynight · 20/03/2007 23:28

dont move to germany, thats all I can say, because you have to give about 2 hours per day, PER CHILD to help with their homework.

I have 4, as well. Basically, I lost it after 2, and am running around trying to catch up the whole time, but it is very nice.

divorcee · 21/03/2007 00:47

I adored having 4 under 5. Loved it. Yes on all the points listed so far but they all seemed to slot into place and it really was a good time

Now mine are older and I have 4 teens in my house.....now that is hard work! Never know where they all are, seem to spend a huge amount of my evening ferrying and collecting (teens can't walk in the rain/cold/wind it would seem) Can't use the phone as the dial up is on constantly and of course if oyu are msn-ing you HAVE to speak on the phone at the same time.
The shower and bath are rarely free and you mustn't leave any nice bath products/make up on show as you will never see them again (same goes with clothes and shoes)

They are hugely emotional and switch from acting like a 2 year old to wanting to be treated like a 30 year old. The pressure of exams is unbearable to watch at times. And the worry of first loves (lasting all of 2 weeks but then the seem to just shout next!)

BUT.....they understand some of the pressures of adulthood/parenting and will show empathy, they are capable of cooking and will join the household duties (for money or a lift but hey, it gets done) You can converse over a coffee about the world and it's wife. You can even fancy the same man (bit weird that one!)

It's stunning to look at these beautiful young adults just beginning to truly understand life and all its trials and tribulations.

I often look at them in awe and remember their very first breath, thinking I grew you!
They are all over 5'5 now and |I remember those first vunerable moments like it was yesterday and treasure them but if I look on them asleep I still see those little people

(I've just made myself cry lol)

Original poster

chocolateaddict · 21/03/2007 13:04

Thankyou all for the replies,I guess one more will slot nicely into the chaos that we call family life then,I work full time nights so I am always tired anyway so there will be no change there.I will probrably be asking about life with five in a couple of years if dh has anything to do with it!Thanks again

OP posts:

Dragonfairy · 21/03/2007 16:28

Go for it chocolateaddict, I have four and yes, it is damned hard work alot of the time but I wouldn't have it any other way

Divorcee, you made me cry too

laughingduck · 21/03/2007 16:45

Divorcee, that is a brilliant post. I was only reading out of curiousity (have 3 dcs) but it almost makes me want to have a fourth!

PPH I am lol at your point 3.

sorkycake · 21/03/2007 17:12

Divorcee I've just cried at your post! Ok yes I'm postnatal, but still it was beautiful. PPH that's how I imagine 4 will be LOL!
We home ed so won't have the school runs to do, or the tedium of another nativity, but I think Dh will take some convincing given that he was a bit reluctant to go for no3. However I think the pull of no4 will be too much for me . Can I ask, other than the cost issues and the change of car, where do they all sleep. We have a 3bed house and Dd & Ds are in together atm, with the nursery free, but what happens if no4 is a boy? How will I fit 3 boys in one room? Moving is not an option, simply couldn't afford to. Do all you mums with 4 have mahoosive houses and a Dh with 6 figure income?
Just thought... the way to convince Dh is maybe to suggest the fourth is another person to help dig the allotment

Nightynight · 21/03/2007 20:02

sorkycake, Ive got 2 girls, 2 boys, so we fit nicely into a 3 bed house, or would if we didnt have to have an au pair. In our current house, we are lucky enough to have a sort of alcove on the landing, with a window, which makes a tiny 4th bedroom (for dd, before you suspect that I might be shoehorning the AP in there!!)

build an extension??

LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 17:12

Oh divorcee, that is a lovely post....I'm still new the life with 4 children game but I hope I look back with the same nostagia(sp) in years to come.

oxocube · 22/03/2007 17:14

what a beautiful post divorcee.

katyt1 · 22/03/2007 17:25

it's so nice to read all of your posts.
i'm only on the one ds so far but am keen on 4, (or 5 but def NOT 10 or more!!!) as am one of 4. dh is less convinced but is only one of 2 so i understand.
we had friends with 3 under 5s here at the weekend and it put even me off a little!
but when they're your own i hope it's different?
there always seemed to be a tantrum going on!
well will just have to wait and see, as we're not ttcing no2 just yet (tho v tempted.....don't want a christmas baby, that's my story for this month anyway!)
keep it up all you mums of 4!
kt

eviletc · 22/03/2007 17:28

oh god have just read this and decided i want another one

Celery · 22/03/2007 17:33

I have three and I've found going from 3-4 tough. Going from 1-2 was a doddle. I don't feel that the baby is the straw that broke the camel's back though, to be honest, it's the middle child that's done that! The baby is a dream.

Despite feeling like I can't cope with any more and that I've reached my limit, I still feel like a fourth would be nice - I've always said I want four. But I couldn't do it now, I think it would destroy us as a couple. I'm waiting until no. 3 is in school and then making a final decision.

Celery · 22/03/2007 17:33

der - I meant I found going from 2-3 tough - see? totally brain dead

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