Why am i SO TIRED, dh has only been away 3 days

[noonar]

i feel beyond tired. the girls have been up before 6 all week. dh is snowboarding. i've had to work p/t - i teach- do the school run, look after dd2 (2.8) when not working, plus housework etc.

we've just got back from marrakech- went there for my dad's wedding. then had dd1's 5th birthday, party. now dh is away again.

i know its been busy, but so many single parents cope alone. why am i SO tired? surely dh doesnt do THAT much when he's around

how well do you cope, alone?

i just couldn't leave dd by choice for more than a night or two. my parents have taken her twice, but they are getting older so i'm not happy with that now. my sister might take her, as her two are older & adore looking after her. just couldn't choose to do a whole week without her - maybe when she's older (only 3)
moondog - you're mad! my ft job averages about 45 hours a week, plus travel (5 hours a week) so more than some other ft jobs, and i have considered doing an ma/phd but would have to be by distance learning & i'd rather not do yet more academic stuff in the ves.

someone give me a kick up the arse, i really should be marking, and dh is quielty watching rugby so this is a good time!

It's Saturday have a G+T instead then do the marking! Make more sense then

I am mad and it can't continue.
It all happened by default.
A few weeks ago I was an sahm with both kids in nursery/school.
Did a lot of gymming,reading,lunching and MNing.
Those were the days.....

Anyone worrying about it going on forever there does come apoint when it's noon and the teenagers still aren't up, although you do have the keys in the door at 3am sort of thing too but that is nothing like as bad as small babies waking at night and toddlers.

Probably most of you won't spread children out over as long as I have if that's any comfort I was 22 when I had the oldest and I'll be 55 by the time the youngest two leave for university. 33 years. Will be lovely sweet toddler grandchildren by then I expect who I can hand back to their parents.

Moondog, I wondered why we saw so little of you nowadays!

Kissassangel - get on with that marking. If you don't do it now, you will be doing it tomorrow afternoon/evening which is a killer all teachers know about. Plus tomorrow is supposed to be the day you are mollycoddled!

dg - i am going now, although i am definitely going down withdd's cold so won't get much done. in this hose we believe mothers day is a load of commercialism & nothing happens! i think dh will be out sailing again, and i will go to tescos & bye any flowers left over & going cheap in the afternoon!

if you see me on any other threads this eve, you have permission to slap me witha splintered ruler!

Oh I thought that was illegal these days? I was thinking more along the lines of detention at lunchtime!

Well obviously you are just lazy the rest of the time! Did you really need to post this or did you want some abuse?

Aw noonar, maybe you are coming down with something & that is why you are feeling down.
When you are on your own, you get into the swing of things by yourself. You organise everything so that it works as best it can for you. I think when you are left on your own once in a while, in some ways it is probably harder, because you are used to having another adult to help out.
I'm sure you'll feel better for a good night's sleep.

Now I feel mean. Sorry. Raising kids is hard work. Go to sleep!

Balls, not sure what your point was re abuse. happy mothers day to you too,

Noonar - I was being curmudgeonly (sp?) as I am almost always on my own (dh works abroad alot). Actually, in genuine response to your original post, I think it is change that we find tiring, rather than taking on the other person's jobs. Children react badly to change and therefore are harder work around that time. Resulting in you being tireder than usual.

My DH has just been away for 10days mountain climbing and I actually found it got easier as time went on as I got into a better routine (not usually my strong point). The worst bit was when the wheel fell off the buggy with DD in it, DS on buggy board and a bag of shopping!
Big respect to single parents as I really missed the company and having someone to share it all with. Also helped me see what DH really does (actually not much apart from put out the rubbish). However he does play with them esp DS who really missed his Dad. I found they spent more time alone while I washed up etc. Mind that did them good once they got used to it.
A word of warning. DHs renewed enthusiasm for family life had worn off after about 3 days back at home.

i am bumping this thread as dh and i have had a massive row. he's stormed off. i thought that we were going to spend this saturday together, but it turns out that he has to help out at a pta event from 9.30 sat am, till 4pm. when i said that i thought it was unfair to be on my own with the girls 2 weekends in a row, he went loopy. shouting that he didnt want to go to the event anymore than i wanted him to.

he cant seem to understand that the fact that he's not helpng out for his own benefit, makes little difference to me. the result is the same; i'm on my own again.

he was shouting at me telling me that i was controlling, when i said' you'll have to tell them you cant do it'.

i know that its to be commended that he's involved with the school, but i just dont undersatnd why he's so mad at me.

it's not like i've given him a hard time since he got back-honest! i've hardly even seen him.