Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

[manuka]

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

My MIL told me not to breastfeed as my titties were for her son! She once asked me how often we had sex as she want it al the time and was wondering how highly sexed her son was! I actualy told her to mind her own bloody business.

Me and her DS have been together for 16 years but live in my home town a couple of hours away from her and when I was pregnant she went on and o about how I didn't hve to go to back to work as her DS was such a provider and paid for everything and i could just ask him for 'housekeeping' money. The look on her face when i said if that was the case maybe she should have mentioned it to me sooner as I had paid half of every bill with my wages since we met.

On one of her visits we went to a shopping centre and she told me she was quite worried walking round as there was so many darkies (her word for anybody not white) and was my DD not scared WTF!

Love this thread made me giggle with some of the things MILs come out with.

My MIL is great the only thing she does that drives me and DH mad is when she asks a question and does not get the answer she wants she will repeat the question but in a different way!

My MiL, when she heard I was going to breastfeed my baby said 'Well I think thats very selfish because that means Dave ( my husband) won't get a turn at feeding his own child' !

She also told a relative (in front of me) that she didn't used to think I was good enough for her son and she still didn't but we understood each other better now !

On the eve of my wedding day and on my wedding day I was introduced to many of my husbands relatives. As I was introduced to each one, my MIL would comment "yes, but she doesn't usually look like this". Obviously I was looking too nice as I'd lost weight and been down the gym.

When my child was born she told me that "..in her day she didn't need books, she just knew what to do" and that "I know you have your own way of doing things, but quite frankly I prefer to do things properly".

And she wonders why I have no inclination to hand out with her...

After a pariculalry harrowing birth abroad, our son was brought over to Grt Ormond Street. We asked MIL PIL to come to London to help with our other DC and meet, maybe for the only time, their new grandson (who has now happily bounced back and is wonderful).

MIL 'Oh no, there's no point. He'll just be in hospital'. Needless to say, i have not forgiven them and it has destroyed my relationship with them.

'I've got steak and chips for ds. I've made you a salad.'

Thought of another one! I have loads but try to forget so I dont get consumed with rage. Mil lives miles away so when we go to visit we have to stay over. The night we stayed over I was up every hour during the night with diarreah. The next day (while I was in the same room as her) Mil rang her friend, mother and sister to tell them I had the 'squits'

She also described my wedding dress to dh before we got married! Going to supress these memories now before it all starts flooding back! Thank god for the distance!

After 8 years of marriage, I'm still trying to work out whether my in-laws like me, or if I am paranoid! Things got confusing after the birth of our children. I get big disapproval for daring to dream of a career still.....

However, my contribution to this thread is from 5 days after dc3 was born. He was a week early and MIL was staying to "help"....

"Bing Bong, it's (your) dh's birthday the day after tomorrow. Will you be baking him a cake?"

:o

"You shouldn't be feeding her (dd1) sandwiches for lunch before Nursery, she needs a nice hot, home cooked meal like Chicken nuggets and smiley faces for a long day"

"We will definitely be moving abroad there's nothing to keep us in England" said to her 2 England dwelling sons and me pregnant with her first grandchild.

One week after birth of DC2: "Hope you're done now and not going to have any more"

After the birth of DS1, MIL said to me "do you feel grown up now?"-I was 32 and her son 34!:o

Just thought of another one- after the birth of DS1 I had a PPH and had a blood transfusion. We were talking about it a few years later and she was horrified by this fact and came out with- "you did have DH's blood"!!!!!!

My Dad to MIL: we didn't have much money when the kids were young so we mainly had camping holidays...

MIL: Really? We were always a lot more cosmopolitan than that.

It was the first time they had met and it has gone downhill since!

I have MILLIONS of these but alas no time to type. I'll pop back.

Around the time we were planning our wedding we bought a car, the car cost more than the wedding itself.
DH - Buying a car is costing more than getting married!
MIL - Yes, but it'll last longer.

She did then explain she meant it'll last longer than the wedding day.

There've been quite a few, she tends to talk without thinking. So you have a moment of "should I be offended?!".

Oh a quickie, can't stop myself - very cathartic moaning about MIL.

She had mentioned that she felt left out of our wedding planning (bear in mind she lives upt North and at the time we were in London) so I promised to call her as soon as I chose my wedding dress. I was absolutely made up to find the perfect dress as I had a VERY specific idea of what the dress should be...when I described it too her she said:

"oh. I couldn't be MORE disappointed".

HUGE emphasis on MORE. Nasty old cow.

We have a catalogue of minor things, a lot of them food related such as:

after I explained why 9 month old DD wasn't having cow's milk for now, she got up extra early to make porridge and feed it to DD (with DP there) then only later say, "Porridge had cow's milk in it, because that's the way I make it." Even now, when we visit, she always makes a roast dinner even though she knows DD won't eat meat. MiL says "Can't she just eat the vegetables then?" Erm, not really a meal, that. Nothing else is offered.

On Sunday she told me I cut bread too thick (I cut it just thick enough that it doesn't fall apart), this will make DD fat.

The worst was about DD not having DP's family name, PIL rang and had DP in tears saying things he has never told me so I assume they were slagging me off as it Must have been up to me. They started with, "We want to get on record our disappointment at you not using our name." So DP decided he wanted to include it after all, is DD's second middle name. PIL never mentioned it again - didn't even know this is what happened. That's the worst thing for me, they go all emotional or passive-aggressive over the phone or email then when we see them it's all swept under the carpet, while I am still seething.

Sorry, rant over.

I could contribute, but I just want to thank you all for making me feel so much better about my awful snide, smug MIL.

When MIL saw 4 month old DS for the second time she said 'oh he looks just like you'. Which I thought was lovely, 10mins later she followed it with, 'he's definitely losing his looks' thanks.

She really is lovely though, she's also my boss so she must see some good in me.

When looking at the wedding photos after DH & I's wedding...

"This one is PERFECT - we'll have a copy of this one for the mantelpiece.."

It was a photo of DH's family (him, MIL/FIL and his siblings) which for some reason didn't have me (the bride...) in it!!!

MIL looking at baby DD "She's got big eyes hasn't she?"
Then studies me and says - "You've got big eyes Crumbly" - me "yes" (proudly!) She then says - " I like big eyes...on a baby!" Many many more

In early days of pregnancy, had only met MIL a few days previously, she asked about cravings, I think and I was trying to be bonding over pregnancy and kind of laughed and said "oh, I don't think I have cravings, or maybe just cravings for everything".
Her: "imagine how fat you'll get, you're only 12 weeks now"

She was so proud of the fact that she barely looked pregnant with her first (my DH) even when she was full term...but DH was born TINY and had to be in hospital for 2 weeks...so that may have explained some of the reason she wasn't showing much, that and the Kaftans!

My MiL is wonderful but whenever one of the dcs gets I'll it's always because we have taken them swimming?! Even if it was 3 weeks before!

Also before I married dh she pulled me aside to ask if I really though dh was good enough for me. I thought that was my mum's job. :)

Ill not I'll sorry.

"My two were potty trained by 10 months"