Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

[manuka]

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

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Mine said I shouldn't have any more kids "because you can't cope with the ones you've got."

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Yes, she wanted three and her husband said no.

Mine said - you'll never get pregnant while you live at number 13 - well I did so knickers

whilst watching her son get me by the throat against a wall, and having just seen him slap me in the face she said

"if you keep making him like this im going to phone social services, your not capable of caring for a youmng child if you can act like this"....TO ME!!!

MIL entered the house singing loudly, "We Wish You a Merry Xmas", and I said, shhh, the baby has only just gone upstairs to sleep. "oh, don't you know anything about babies, once they're in bed, they're asleep in no time"

Baby: "Waaaahhhh!!!!"

On first meeting my MIL at a family BBQ my BF (now DH) offered to get me a glass of wine as I didnt know where anything was . When he had gone to get it she said : you can tell why your fat and his thin :

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I think so far ejt and meg have the worst! UNBELIEVABLE WITCHES!! Some mils are clearly extremely maladjusted people who need to be issued with a government health warning!!!!!

I've just read mamazons comment. I am stunned and speechless.

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a quote from my mother (my mil is lovely)

I'd just had a c/s after a worrying preg follwing a missed m/c & fertility probs. My mother was seeing me at the hospital just after the c/s: "You look terrible"!! - needless to say I felt very sad and shocked.

My dd first weaning food ever was: strawberry cheesecake...given by a relative on my dh side (ok, not mil, sorry!)

She said, "well, I could see she really wanted some!"

My MIL is Mid Eastern and soooo disapproved of me (white English) marrying DH that she said to him oh and I bet she isn't a virgin either....

We get along fine now although she did say to DH when I was three months post baby and c section and still finding my feet, oh she is a bit messy isn't she......

Like maisym, I love my MIL. My mother has come out with some corkers though.

When I had a MC she said, 'Never mind, what you never had you can never miss' Which was a dig at me for leaving home!

On trying to explain exactly what dyspraxia & hypermobility are, shortly after DD was diagnosed, my MIL's comment was "well I would have been too busy to notice that sort of thing"

Not as bad as some, but
"Oh well I thought you might at least have had a girl" after I had given birth to DS2, her 4th grandson.
OR

"I washed your kitchen floor as you obviously don't have time to do it"
"I bought some cleaning stuff at Tesco - i couldn't find yours, but then looking round I'd say you don't have any"
"How's the babysitting going then? Isn't it time you got a proper job" In reference to my childminding

And being told that DS had very much the same colour hair as DD ie brown (she's in Spain and never sees them), her comment was "are you sure there isn't any ginger anywhere, have you checked his eyebrows & eyelashes ?" I have red hair which is what generated that comment.

Never had a MIL as she died before I started seeing exDH, I did know her though and she was lovely. exFIL came out with some stunners though...

'If you don't stop feeding that baby soon you'll ruin your breasts' (I will add that DD1 was 2 months old) but anyway WTF!!!!!!

'We never allowed our children to sleep in our bed, you're both overweight and might kill her'

'You know love, it really might be time to think about losing some of that baby weight' (was pg with DD2 and he knew!)

lovin this thread!

I love my parents in law but they do come out with some classics...

I suffer from depression and when i was pregnant with dd1 I was just recovering from a major nervous breakdown. Needless to say I was a tad concerned about getting post natal depression ( as were my doctors/pyschologist/counsellor etc) and my MIL said 'oh, don't worry, noone gets depression when they've had a baby, you just don't have time' !!?!

A friend of mine was pregnant with her first baby and her father in law said 'I don't know why you're worrying about Steve (her partner) having paternity leave, this baby's got nothing to do with him till it's older. Our Steve's got his golf to think about' !?!

('steve' is a weekend golfer, hardly Tiger Woods!)

"Paying for private schools is only something you need to think about if you have boys"!

"It is wicked to have a career if you have children".

I have an old friend who hss two boys and a girl. Husband siad that he would pay for two boys to go to public school, they are bothe currently at a private prep. He didn't want a girl which they subsequently have and has refused to pay for her education, saying that as a girl state education is more than enough for her.