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Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

615 replies

manuka · 11/03/2007 16:06

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HarryB · 11/06/2009 18:03

My Mil can be a total cow but she does come out with some corkers. DS has blonde hair like my side of the family but she wasn't having it. Mil says: "oh his hair is just like my [dead] husbands". DH: "err mum, Dad had dark hair". Mil: "No, he had light hair but used a lot of brylcream so it looked darker".

WTF! FiL's hair was jet black

roseability · 11/06/2009 19:42

Great thread! I love my MIL, she is like the mother I never had so I would like to add some corkers from my own mother

'I think breastfeeding is a load of old crap'

'Britain is an island. If we allow any more immigrants in it will sink'

The first time I spoke to her after DS was born she didn't congratulate me or sound happy. She told me she hadn't been kept well informed and didn't even know what hospital I had given birth at. I had told her several times!

gremlindolphin · 11/06/2009 22:41

My FIL was working a lot when my dh and sil were growing up but he has forgotten that now.

When I was potty training dd2 he was horrified that she had done a poo somewhere other than the toilet apparently dh and sil just went straight from nappies to using the toilet no problem!

I imagine my sadly departed mil would have been turning in her grave!

My god daughter has downs syndrome and despite having many discussion/arguments about it my step mil insists on asking after "the mongol" which drives me mad.

Step mil has made so many classic comments over the years I can't even think of any others! Tend to give her the benefit of the doubt as she has no children and got married for the first time age 65 so she doesn't really have a clue!

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LadyAga · 12/06/2009 20:45

"the mongol" !!!!!!!!

slummymummy36 · 12/06/2009 22:49

In reference to DH ex wife

"I really don't know what he sees in you. Lorraine was so much prettier"

When we got engaged

"well it won't be proper wedding will it? I mean * has had his proper wedding with Lorraine, yours will just be some little affair. Not proper. Oh how beautiful Lorraine looked on that day."

Upon seeing me cutting carrots for our Xmas dinner one year

" Hmmm! Batons! Hmm" long pause "* (fil) can't eat carrots cut like that, he can only eat them cut in circles the way normal people cut them"

Upon asking to be passed the dish of cranberry sauce down the table over Xmas dinner last year...

"I was 10 when I started my periods" Long pause followed until one of then kids broke the embarrassing silence!

And one of my alltime favourite insults I received from the witch

"Good grief. The diet obviously isn't working then"

As you prolly have guessed I dont like the woman much!

Jux · 12/06/2009 23:10

MIL, when I had said tantrums were normal and I'd be more worried if dd didn't, said "My children never had tantrums"

oldraver · 13/06/2009 20:06

MIL...On the morning of the funeral for my first DS.. "BIL and SIL wont be coming as she gone into labour) very tactful

To my neice complaining about me "she has a bath every other day"

I hated to tell her I usually had one every day but didnt want to inconvienience her even though I was putting a pound in the meter each time, and actually giving her hot water for the day rather than having to boil a kettle

SarahL2 · 13/06/2009 21:33

My MIL is generally fantastic but every now and again she really upsets me..

For my wedding - if she ever disagreed with something we'd chosen, she just offered to pay for it (far too many people in suits, her preferred photographer, having a video etc) saved us a fortune but I ended up regretting quite a few bits of my wedding.

On telling her we were expecting DS1 - "Oh, but I'm not ready for number 6" DGC 5 was only 6 months old at the time.

On telling her we are expecting DC2 (no other GC's since DS 2 years ago and due on 27th December) "Congratulations. Bad timing though" She's re-iterated the bad timing thing a few times since too!!

PIL's also insist the teams for xmas Trivial Persuit are "bloods" versus "outsiders" too. BIL's and I enjoy beating them cause at least we can prove that we're improving the gene pool

Hormonesnomore · 13/06/2009 21:45

when we were having trouble ttc dc1 & both dh & I were undergoing infertility investigations, mil poked her nose in saying 'nothing like that runs in our family'

when I was pregnant with dc3 & dh told her he intended to help out more (about bloody time too!) she told him he 'did too much at home' - he had the nerve to repeat that to me too

Hormonesnomore · 13/06/2009 21:49

and my ds is allergic to nuts - when he couldn't attend a family function because he was unwell, the only comment mil made was 'oh, we could have had nuts'

Dragonfly74 · 13/06/2009 22:14

After DH and I have explained for the 100th time that i'm happy to be a SAHM and DH is happy to support us MIL still continues to say, "I'll take early retirement and look after the DC so you can go back to work"

DS has a Lazy eye and when we moved home recently MIL walked into the new house and said infront of DS...Well now you have the new house all you need is HIS eye sorting out and everything will be perfect.

When DS started pre school he didn't take to it very well in the beginning and MIL said "See I told you you should have gone back to work like I had to, you wouldn't have had this problem then"

And the most recent "You must send DD 14mths to a CM otherwise you will have problems with her aswell when she goes to pre school.

She's my most favorite person... Honest!!!

Hormonesnomore · 13/06/2009 22:29

yeah I love mine too

Mizza76 · 14/06/2009 01:20

-- Before our wedding, my then-fiance, myself, my parents and my MIL had all agreed that there would be just two speeches - my father and my husband. My MIL was (apparently) not happy with this but went along with what everyone wanted.

At another family event, a couple of weeks before the wedding, her brother spoke. My MIL pipes up: "Oh, that was beautiful! You'll have to speak at the wedding, What do you say, [Mizza76]?"

Luckily I had the guts to say no and didn't mind at all looking like the mean one in front of my new family, who didn't know about our arrangement...

-- A few weeks before I gave birth to DD1: "Oh, do you need me at the birth? I'm planning to go on holiday but will stay if you really want me to"

-- At a meal with a cousin visiting from abroad: "Why don't you come to dinner at my house on Tuesday at 6:30 - you can go to [mizza76] and [DH]'s first, say at 5:30, for drinks"

I had already asked her several times not to invite people to my house without asking me first (as she had already done this several times), but apparently this was unreasonable.

-- "I really need you to call me, it's an emergency" - message she left on my husband's mobile several times one day while we were on holiday. When we couldn't get through to her we completely panicked, called his siblings overseas, considered coming home early... Turns out she couldn't work out how to use her fax machine.

-- Too many others to count.... Other favourite incidents include her giving me a book she had bought for herself at an airport and read on a plane as a birthday present, and not visiting or helping out at all after I had a miscarriage (and lived less than 5 minutes walk from her).

Peaches174 · 14/06/2009 03:23

My MIL is an absolute horror, ds was a flexed breech when he was born and for a week or so his legs used to stick up in the air...when visiting us on the post labour ward she told me to swing ds round by his feet to correct the problem.

Don't think she was entirely serious but I had reeeeealy bad baby blues and wanted to throttle her!

She also loves a really stupid/ignorant observation:
On visiting Sistine chapel: 'I don't know what all the fuss is about, it wasn't that good and it gave me neck ache'!

On discussing her lack of payrise at work: 'I think it's because my boss is Indian'

It goes on....grrr!!

lagaanisace · 14/06/2009 12:16

Mine thinks that crying is good for babies - it helps to mature their lungs! So, when they cry, it's great therapy to just leave them to it with no intervention...

smallblessings · 14/06/2009 12:47

MIL said that my DH never cried as a baby.

notcitrus · 14/06/2009 13:51

My MIL is lovely and thinks I'm fantastic. She is, however, prone to TMI.

#1 being telling me in graphic detail about all of her labours, particularly the orgasm during BIL1's birth...

summerbird · 14/06/2009 15:44

Not my MIL but my mum's now MIL. My mum was a single parent with me when she met my (step)dad and i was 2 years old.

On meeting my mum and 2 year old me for the first time:

'Oh when i heard my DS was dating a single mum (horrified emoticon) i wasnt happy at all, but now you have introduced me to little summerbird she makes up for it coz she is cute.....'

Spose it was 1975 but WTF??

gingertoo · 14/06/2009 15:52

This thread is SO funny I can't believe some of the things these women say!
My MIL called me by DH's ex girlfriend's name for the first year we were together.
When I had DC1 she came to visit one day while I was feeding him. She had to leave the room because breastfeeding 'turned her stomach'

numal · 14/06/2009 18:39

Had 8 years of fertility treatment, 6 miscarriages and a river of tears. Not to mention the huge financial cost.
After birth of beautiful healthy miracle baby daughter MIL phoned and asked "aren't you sorry you didn't have a boy?"
Upon visiting said beautiful miracle baby daughter, MIL's first comment "what's that red mark on her eyelid?, is it going to go away?" (tiny red mark). It may be possible to forgive, but I can never forget.

berrysmum · 15/06/2009 08:22

my IL's never help out unless we are desperate and have to ask them. We both work, our kids (6 and 2) are at school / child care, we have no other relatives to help care for them and therefore haven't had a night alone since 2004 (hubby had op so not exactly a break)and never go out. When 2yr old recently playing up at night and we were both knackered MIL said, grinning, "welcome to parenthood!" WTF?!!!! She had one son (hubby) and by all accounts palmed him off to a different relation every weekend, and he more or less lived with his gran!!!! Cheeky cow !

poorbuthappy · 15/06/2009 08:26

On finding out that her daughter was pregnant with a boy...

Oh it will be so lovely to have a grandson...

and it was pointed out that she already has a grandson from her eldest son...but it obviously doesn't mean as much coming from your son instead of daughter...

Zeppo · 04/11/2010 15:17

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nickytwotimes · 04/11/2010 15:20

You need to post this in the Media/Non-members section.

Though I wouldn't recommend that you do...

TheLadyIsNotForNapping · 04/11/2010 15:34

About my dd: "she's such a happy, engaged child. It's wonderful to see all my years of hard work parenting [dp] pay off" !!!!!
Yes, she basically took the credit for dd's happy nature.

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