Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

[manuka]

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

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"ooh both my two were using the potty at 6 months....you can't wait until shes 2 and a half"....said about 2 minutes into every visit until dd was....over 2 and a half!

"i can't bear to leave my little baby..." when visiting me and dd 48 hours old in the hospital. dh and fil gave up...i had to evict her!

and "i saw this and thought of you"....about the most passion killing gingham nightdress i have ever seen in my life (to my credit i kept my face neutral and said "you keep it...i don't actually wear anything when i'm in bed"....she was )

and.....stop now polly

background me 37 weeks pg dd arrived that week

mil blimey you are getting really big arnet you? how much do you weigh now?
me about 11 and a half stone
mil oh my god ! you dont do you !interrupping dh and fil shes 11 and a half stone shes catching up withyou t fil!

then the second time i saw mil after dd was born still having problems after [quite difficult birth 4th degree tear pph etc] have you lost much weight yet ?

then the day before going hospital about repair job mil so have you lost much weight yet,look as though your nearly there
this was met with stoney silence got bigger things to worry about at the moment was less than 10 stome anyway

My MIL is Greek, mother of 4 boys, no daughters. I should be sainted...

Whilst struggling to bf colicky dd (my first child). "Maybe she's allergic to your milk".
(Needless to say she didn't breastfeed).

Sitting practically on my lap whilst bf'ing dd: "Are you sure she's getting anything?"

About dd as a baby "She has the same body as me, very short legs"

"DD has bow legs just like her grandfather. (DD was a few weeks old at the time. All babies are bow-legged at this age....).

After ds was born "We don't have flat heads on our side of the family".

She decided recently that ds was constipated after he hadn't poo'd for 24 hours and wanted to give him a laxative.

FIL - on meeting DS for the first time, to my DP: (i am an older Mum)
'you should have another baby...Des o'Connnnor had a baby when he was 73 - he found a new woman who was younger...'

MIL, to me, about some nieces
"oh they spend so much time ironing their cloths and making sure they look nice - not like you"

MIL, to me, on FIL's habit of watching women's wrestling videos
"Oh he really enjoys his wrestling videos, he shouts 'Blu could beat her, imagine Blu with her big legs, sitting on top of her...Blu would win easily"

(I think that was meant as a compliment)

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Mine's not to bad - I think the worst when pregnant was "I wouldn't be surprised if you got post-natal depression" - I didn't fortunately.

I've had a few since about how fussy my children are about food, a couple about their behaviour - luckily she doesn't say the choice ones to me but to DH who has a huge row with her everytime she criticises. Still, she hasn't mentioned the fact that I'm still BF - actually I'm not sure she knows.

TBH though, my Mum has come out with a few choice ones in her time too.

My MIL is fine. But DH's grandmother, to DH, in what she fondly imagined was a whisper, just after meeting me: "She's a lovely girl, but she doesn't have your looks..."

"You'll rue the day you marry that girl"

• to DH 24 hours before the wedding.

"Well, you're a MacXXXXX now, we'd better make the best of it"

• to me, ten minutes after.

Twelve years, still married, yah boo sucks

Blu - thanks a lot for that little vignette of family life chez your PIL - there is a half-eaten Rolo all over my screen now!

Squonk, my ex MIL said the same

"You know us, we don't like to interfere..."
"Well, we don't like to say anything..." (to your face but we'll bitch about you when you've gone)

"Well, I bottlefed my kids" said in a holier than thou tone

"He's a mummy's boy, isn't he?" about 4 month old DS when he stopped crying after she handed him back to me

I could go on but it's making me stressed

How funny - My MIL asked DP the same thing thing.
I'm 5.9 so have not been petite since I was 8!
She's tiny herself, 4.10 I think so I think she took it as an insult that her son strayed so far from her image

at our first ever meeting, i was 18 and she said 'oh i always imagined dh with a tall, slim girl'. she also invited dh's ex to our wedding ( i was fuming).

once we had children, in addition to the usual 'rod for your own back' business, she fed my dd formula when out with 5 wk old dd instead of the expressed i'd given her.

and she wonders why we see her twice a year, and won't be having her around whenever the next one comes along.

While I was trying tactfully to explain why I had left her son for being an abusive b*stard:

'Oh that was just silly. He's been under a lot of stress.'

'I hope the new year will bring some forgiveness and understanding'.

'Well you've got your revenge, he's in a bad way'.

I was pregnant, had HG and severe depression and he had buggered off leaving me to rely on my poor parents.

enough said...

i had a retained placenta when i had my ds 22years ago ,nearly died haemoraged massive ,hooked up to a machine ,tubes everywhere and mil comes in with grapes sat next to my bed and says youll never want sex again ffs and she ate my grapes since i was nil by mouth

Not a nasty comment... but one I will never forget:

If you can imagine my MIL, she's tiny, just turned 70, posh, loaded, submissive to FIL.

Dishing out the roast dinner, she drops a couple of sausages. What did she say? Golly gosh? Whoopsadaisy?

No...

"Oh Fuck!"

I nearly choked on my boiled cabbage!

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"I think people who want to find out the sex before the baby is born need psychological counselling" - after I'd got the results of my amnio and the news that I was pregnant with a girl.

haven't seen this thread for ages really making me giggle again my mil is lovley so i haven't got any to add

Just remembered some more words of encouragement: "Of course the problem with breast feeding is noone else can do it for you."

To me and my SIL before our BIL's wedding

"I'm so thrilled to finally be getting a glamourous DIL"

Not my MIL but a friend's. 6 months after the birth, when my friend arrived to stay at her MIL's house in South of France, the MIL said by way of a greeting as my friend got out of the car "Oh gosh, you still haven't lost the extra weight from your thighs".