Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

DS1 rang 999 one morning at about 8.30am.

The first I knew of it was the two policeman at the door. They asked to come in and checked the place over...

He also drank some cough medicine or something and seemed really pleased with himself that he had finished it!

I'm sure he's got up loads more but that's all I can think of right now .

DD got hold of my razor when she was 2.5 ish from a medicine cabinet and shaved her chin. Luckily now she is 8 the scar is fading.

DSD not long after i met her when she was three, emptied out a ginormous bean bag and was then found doing "snow angels" on the covered sitting room floor.
DP then killed my rather expensive hoover clearing it all up.

razors and saws and battery acid!

Mine constantly smuggled crayons/ glitter glue etc into their room and would then draw all over the walls.

We once caught DD with a battery in her mouth, she'd chewed and swallowed the plastic coating and it was covered in teeth marks, no idea where she found it.

DS emptied an entire jar of coffee followed by a carton of orange juice all over the kitchen floor, and then was playing in the mess. He needed 3 baths as the water just kept going brown and it took me hours to clean the kitchen as by the time the bath was over it had started to harden on.

They're no longer toddlers, but still very young, and recent things have been DS wrecking my lcd tv when he got hold of a spray bottle and sprayed the entire contents on it, and the two of them getting into my office and drawing all over everything with Sharpies (permanent markers)

An entire new tube of toothpaste smeared all over the bathroom.
Made worse by being kiddie toothpaste, apple flavour, bright green gel.
Looked like Slimer from Ghost Busters had trashed the place.

When ds1 was 2, he found half a tin of blue gloss paint (yes the oil based stuff) and decided to decorate the cat.

She was totally smothered, I panickd, got her in the bath, washed her with white spirit then rinsed it off with shampoo as I realised it was dangerous...then took her to vets where she was sedated and swarfega'd to within an inch of her life. Poor animal. £177 later she was fine.

This is the worst of all my 3 ds capers right here!
{blush}

When my brother was about two he went through a stage of copying the dog. Went out into the garden one day to find him with his head under the fence barking at people walking past.

We heard two women as they went past, 'Oh, it's a shame for him, innit?'

He also used to sleep in the dog basket and eat the dog food.

My DS isn't mobile yet, so no tales from him so far.

thats youtube video is hysterical

thankfully my DS is too young so give him time.

My brother was ALWAYS uo to something - one time when he was about 2 he went missing, cue the whole family looking all over for him in a paniced state. My dad finds him completely naked jumping up and down on the next door neighbours car.

DD and DH were sharing a bath when she was about 10mo. She did a poo, DH didn't realise until she tried to feed it to him .

Apparently, after his first visit to a urinal, DH took great pleasure in peeing against his bedroom wall. Unfortunately, it was a couple of weeks before his mum realised what was going on...

I think this thread should be required reading for any parent of toddlers - my tears of laughter are slightly offset by the dawning realisation of what lies ahead...

hmmm was reading this laughing and thinking 'I havent got any stories'...then O remembered...

On holiday in Ireland, travel cot next to our bed, my mobile on the bedside table...ds1 wakes early (4am?) I am of course ignoring any stirrings in the hope he will go back to sleep...wonder why its all gone quiet...and whats that funny little noise...like a little voice...OMG he has phoned someone from my phone book!!! At 4 in the morning!!! And its someone I dont know very well!!!

Of course, I take the phone apologise profusely...NOT. I take the phone and hang up, hoping they havent got caller ID. 2 mins later my phone rings- its her. Of course, I answer and explain about my naughty cheeky little boy...NOT! I press end call! Oops sorry

DD (2.5) has:

Covered herself in sudocrem and sun cream. (Do you think the makers of sudocrem should start putting child-proof lids on the stuff?!)

Given herself a 'black eye' trying to put mascara on.

When I took her to work one day, she found a box of doughnuts someone had brought in and took a bite out of each one.

She's normally really good at going to the toilet, so the other day when she said she needed a wee, I just told her to get on with it as I was in room next to bathroom. I heard her put her step by the toilet, put her booster seat on toilet, then I happened to glance in the bathroom to find her stood in the middle of the room, trousers and knickers round her ankles, weeing on the floor.

She's run into toilets at playgroup and locked herself in twice.

Tried to smother dd2 wth a cushion ('She's tired mummy, needs a pillow')

Dipped dd2's dummy in her potty, luckily I got to it before she gave it to dd2.

Also, when I was little, apparently I shake'n' vac'd (remember that?) the whole upstairs of my mum's house with talcum powder.

I came downstairs to find hair all over the place and DD1 brandishing the kitchen scissors. She and DD2 had been playing 'At the hairdressers'. Luckily only hair was cut.

My brother hoovered up a poo from the loo and broke the hoover.

DD got hold of some snufflebabe and smeared it all over the hall wall and the poor cat! I had to try and wash it off the cat who is an angel and constantly goes back for more abuse form DD!

I buy washable pens and supervise her playing with them. I was very poorly in bed one day so Dh was 'supervising' the DC. The next day I got up to pen all over the walls, doors, skirting etc. Some of it washed off some didn't due to non-washable pen! It is because I have painted murals on the walls so she thingks it is okay to do so! She drew on my DS when he was 5 months old too

My 3 yr old brother broke into my parents' drinks cabinet and poured half a bottle of vodka down my throat when I was 18 months old - might explain my intolerance to it now My Mum spent the day walking me up and down the hall trying to work the alcohol out of my system

When DD was comming upto age 2 she would call every bug a frog but it soudned more like Fuck..so when neighbours were over and shes pointing at the pavement at an ant saying 'ohh fuck mummy'. LOL I had to explain EVERY time

a 'toddler' of my generation, so now an adult:

got mummies keys off high shelf, by climbing shelf , unlocked front door, went out, unlocked car, got in car, took off handbrake, ()drive was on a slope so car crashed into garage

all in a matter of minutes!

I posted about DS1 before, well we have our own DS2 story now.

He is 27 months, and the other day DS1 and I were packing the car (for maybe 2 minutes).

DS2 was inside with DH (or so we thought).

When I got inside, I couldn't find DS2 anywhere. I thought DH had him, DH thought I had him.

DH said for me to look around the house (again) - still couldn't find him, while he went down the street to find him.

He found him half way to the station.

This is the same little boy who we were told when he was 10 months old may never walk....

dd2 has

taken my mobile phone, coated it in sudocrem and floated it in the paddling pool

put the nitty gritty comb on the fire.

drawn on the walls

dd1 - cut her sisters hair into asymmetrical mullet.

telephoned emergency services

Ate a spider

Ate the cat litter in the cat litter

tray...yes it was soiled!

Managed to negotiate harness in the highchair, fell out and whacked his head on the floor

Put the computer mouse down the loo

New one to add. Yesterday he ate the cats food. Cold Whiskas...yumm

Not my dc but today my friend told me that while they were at her dh's boss's house, ds age 2 went off to the loo, when they went to find him he had pooed in the bidet and tried to clean it up with host's toothbrushes.

Emptied cereal on the floor
Emptied the fridge including smashing all the eggs
This thread is hilarious

Pulled everything off my dressing table one morning when he came into wake me up and I was trying to carry on dozing.
Climbed onto the table and then the window sill and also climbed onto the arm of the sofa and then been dangling from the sofa whilst I've been asleep and left him watching TV.
Fished toilet paper out of the toilet
Wheeled the other office chair out of the office without me noticing whilst I've been MNing
Run off up the road whilst I've been MNing The noises coming from the garden were becoming a bit distant and realised he was up the side entrance and the gate was open. Got up immediately to get him and somehow in seconds he had got to the end of the road despite being the slowest runner in the world for his age.

DD1 (was aged 3 at the time) managed to open her own bedroom window (by standing on a chair to get on top of her drawers to reach the shelf above them to get to key!) and I walked in her room to see her standing on her window sill leaning out of the window (which is the bigger than her and opens outwards) waving "bye" to daddy - i nearly had a heart attack and screamed which I realised, on reflection was a bad idea as I could have made her jump and therefore fall out of the window