Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

[KathH]

DD2 when she was 2 emptied all of ds1's (who was about 3 wks) cow & gate milk & made up lots of bottles for her dollies while I nodded off for about 1.5 nano seconds.

[sauce]

This has got to be the absolute worst (I'll read the other posts after!) but I found dd with a Prozac capsule in her mouth. She was about 2. She had been playing with my bag & must have found one in the bottom &, like most babies, put it in her mouth. I'll leave you to imagine my reaction.

[sauce]

I should have changed my name. I guess I am now on the MN black list but I told you about this as a warning, not because I'm proud of it.

[KathH]

should add - a couple of years later ds1 was upstairs very quietly. When I went into the bathroom he was cutting his hair with dh's clippers because he wanted to look like daddy!

[studentmum1]

This threads hilarious! worst thing i can think of was when i had cleaned bathroom, opened window for fresh air, went out room for couple of minutes to come back in and dd was missing, i panicked and jumped into the bath (full of water) to look out bathroom window which is where i thought she'd gone... then heard dd say peepo from the cupboard under the sink where she had hidden herself... me with soaking wet feet and legs!

[McDreamy]

Oh and there was the night DD cut her own hair She walked into the living and asked "What do you think?" We all looked at her thinking what has she done and then noticed one side was about 5 inches shorter than the other. She had very short hair for a while in order to even it up.

Sort a good thing though as she still has a short bob which I probaby wouldn't have chosen but after it had grown a bit I realsied how much shorter hair suited her - and it's so much easier to comb!!

[Cloudhopper]

These are so funny - what a great thread.
Feeling like I have got off lightly because poo doesn't figure heavily in my list - in fact they are very tame, but here goes.

dd1 shoved one of her hairclips up her nose - they almost got it in triage, but then despite A&E, X-rays and Paed outpatient appointments the hairclip was never seen again. Visions of it lodged somewhere in her brain. I was actually in the same room

dd1 - "Make up" - ie felt tips all over the face.

THe scariest one was when dd2 was a tiny baby and dd1 had given her a tissue to wipe her nose. dd2 had stuffed it all in her mouth and was unable to breathe. Fortunately I was able to scoop some out with my fingers and the rest thankfully came when she was sick.

Toilet roll and sudocrem are favourites in our house. I'll never forget the time when I heard that trademark 'quietness' and found dolly with sudocrem lovingly smeared all over her bottom and her legs - because she had a 'sore bottom'. Bless.

[tearinghairout]

Brought my twins into the office to meet my workmates. Kept them quiet with a peanut butter sandwich and one smeared it all over the keys of someone's computer while I had my back turned.

Am off to bed now, but will think of some more. I'm sure this thread will bring back lots of memories - funny now but weren't at the time!

[wheresthevalium]

I am literally wiping the tears away I have been laughing so hard.

Right, my 2 DDs, now 4.9 and 3.6 between them have:

Killed 3 goldfish by feeding them bread
Written and painted on every wall in our (rented) house
Re-decorated the bathroom floor with toothpaste, bubble bath, excema cream
Eaten a whole tub of nutella before I got up one morning
Called my ex boyfriend and talked to him, telling him all about 'Mummys new friend'
Put my engagement ring through the floorboards in my bedroom (still missing)
Painted the cats, then covered them in turps to wash the paint off
Hidden in the wardrobe in their beedroom, wouldn't answer when I called for them, so I called the police and actually had the police helicopter out before we found them

I'll let you know if I think of any more (assuming SS don't arrive first)

[fussymummy]

My youngest went into the bathroom and was washing her hands.

Then decided to put both taps on full and just stand and watch in amazement as water went everywhere!!!!!

I was downstairs on the phone!

First i knew about what she'd done was when water came pouring through my kitchen ceiling!!!!!

Had to have new lights as water got into all electrics.

Also had to have a new ceiling fitted!!!!

[adamadamum]

Laid a trail of sanitary towels from bathroom to landing, just before the plumber arrived...put a phone down the toilet...hidden a pooey nappy that must have been around for days before I found it...Pulled my dd's gastrostomy feeding tube out of her stomach, causing a medical emergency and a lot of panic (Won't let him forget that one!)...has weed and pood on the window ledge in full view of anyone passing..covered himself and the walls in nappy cream...unravelled a whole toilet roll only today, and stuffed it in the loo...blocked the plughole of the bath with bits of cardboard tube from loo roll...cleaned a window with eczema cream...and I still think he's a good boy!

[edam]

PMSL at painting the cat - it's the attempt to remove it with turps that is particularly endearing.

[bumperlicious]

Don't have any stories to tell - yet. But starting to fret at the thought of having a child in a rented house with all these tales!

[wheresthevalium]

Wait, I must be trying to block this one, can't believe I didn't think of it before

After DDs had gone to bed (or so I thought) I had a friend round for a curry and DVD. Heard shouting and screaming from upstairs, went to bottom of stairs to see smoke everywhere.

DD2 (aged 3.1) had turned on a lamp in my bedroom, then piled a load of clothes on top of it. Massive fire going, everyone out, fire brigade called, about £4k worth of damage.

I shudder to think what would have happened if I had had the TV on any louder

[zookeeper]

My ds(3) pooed in one of the unconnected toilets in the B&Q bathroom section whilst I was chosing paint

[MamazonAKAfatty]

Ds was 2 cat had Kittens. he was holding one when he had been told to leave them alone, XP came into the room and so he quickly hid the Kitten in the freezer.

Xp didn't realise for a good 5-10 minutes.

when he was about 3 he had bad sleep problems. I must have bene so exhausted i didnt hear him come out of his bedroom in the night.

I came into the front room/kitchen to find the contents of my fridge all over the floor, eggs all over the sofa, Fairy powder all in the downstairs loo and the dog covered in marg.

When DD was born Ds was 4. we went into Woolies and he was playing up so i said we would have to go home then without the treat we had gone in to get.
unusually he took this well and walked out of the shop and back to the car nicely.
I relented as he had been so good and stopped at the corner shop on the way home to get him some sweets. as soon as we got home he kept telling me that DD wants her nappy changed. she had only been changed before we went out about an hour previously and she didn't smell and hadn't wet so i said no. he became really insistant that she needed her nappy changing so i agreed.

When i removed her nappy there was a hot wheels car shoved in it!. the little sod must have snuk it in whilst we were in woolies. no wonder he was so happy to getout of the shop quickly.

had to march him back into the shop the next day and make him pay for the car and get a telling off from the secruity guard.
then made him donat the car (minues the nappy smelling box) to the local charity shop.

[melpomene]

I forgot one...

DD2 put a clothespeg into the washing machine. I didn't notice, put the washing machine on and the clothespeg got stuck in the washing machine's motor and broke it.

[Trikken]

I came upstairs last night and caught ds poo painting his bedroom walls, he'd already covered his wardrobe and himself with poo, also some on the carpets. i'd only just given him a bath an hour ago before bed. Also caught him doing it a little while ago when I'd gone upstairs to get some washing whilst ds was supposed to be napping. I notice a lot of others have had poo issues with your ds/dd's, how did u stop them from poo painting?

[busydoingnothing]

My ds (3.5 at the time) woke up early one morning, went downstairs, moved a kitchen chair, climbed up onto very high fridge freezer in search of a toy he thought was there, but instead found a chef's blow torch. He took it into the dining room where he fiddled with the child proof safety mechanism until he managed to light it and set fire to the dining room curtains! He got a bit concerned and called for parental assistance and we all got out and called fire brigade!Two fire engines, smoke filled house, patio door that shattered because of heat and plaster that cracked from the walls! £150000 pounds of insurance claim later the house was as good as new!! Oh and I was 33 weeks pregnant at the time - having most of house redecorated - the ultimate nesting experience!!!

[lljkk]

Spoonfed himself out of the pet rat's litter tray.
.
.
.
And most of the litter had already been removed, so the only stuff left was the very sticky brown stuff.

[mrsmaidamess]

my dd achieved THIS but with Sudocrem instead of gloss paint, thank god

[compo]

ds (then 2) smeared newborn dd with sudocrem, all over her forehead because he'd seen us applying her with cradle cap lotion , was a bugger to get off her

when she was 10 days he took her out of her bouncy chair and sat on her, play fighting like he did with daddy I'd only nipped into the kitchen to make a cuppa (they were in the lounge), think we all howled that day!

[homicidalmatriach]

DD managed to get MiL on phone - god knows how she unlocked the bleeding thing and picked the right speeddial and said 'mummy says granny is a cowbag!'

[shelleylou]

ds opened the stair gate on his bedroom door sunday morning. Thought it would be good fun to block the sink and flood bathroom and kitchen proceded t blow the light fitting id bught a week ago.

[SmileyMylee]

Some of my particular favourites from DD2.

• tried to give our new pet rabbit a bath in the sink and then to hide the wet rabbit, hid her in a toy suitcase.

• mixed toilet paper with toothpaste and flicked it onto the ceiling where it set hard

• blocked every toilet with toilet paper (whole rolls)- 10 minutes before 50 guests were due to arrive

• hid all my car keys so she wouldn't have to go to nursery

• flooded the bathroom (twice)

• drawn on DS1 with an indelible pen ( 5 minutes before his christening)

• released all mice caught in our humane traps so that she could have a pet

• started screaming ('stop - you're not my mummy') whilst in the supermarket - 2.5 hours later I was eventually allowed to leave the shop

I could go on and on....