Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

scribbled on cream lounge carpet with bright blue chalk...you'd have thought easy to brush/hoover off but no. Still got those damn marks after a carpet shampoo...

both my dc have given themselves a haircut - ds was about 4, trimmed his lovely longish brown hair practically down to the bone in several patches resulting in me having to give him a buzz cut.

dd last year age 5 - her lovely, past shoulder length blonde curly hair. decided to give herself a very severe fringe and slice about 3 inches off one side - now in a bob with an evened out, decent length fringe.

ds, again about 4, stuck a whole pack of always ultra to my bedroom window.

no pooing incidents thankfully.

i was a bit of a horror when younger - at age 7 i got fed up of my younger sister (age about 3.5yrs) so when she asked to play out, i let her out of the garden gate and she was found by a neighbour attempting to cross a rather busy road....

this week dd 'decorated' the entire [white] bathroom and newly-tiled grey floor with red finger-paint, toothpaste and strawberry lip gloss

pmsl @ always ultra on bedroom window

DS flooded bathroom by putting toilet paper in plug hole and turning on taps in sink. I realised what was going on when water poured through kitchen ceiling whilst I was washing up. I didn't know which room to mop up first.

dd1 ate sudocreme

Message withdrawn

DS 18mths went out the back door last week got on his ride on with no shoes or socks and was just disappearing around the corner in the middle of the road when I found him

Similiar to MadamDeathstare's glitter incident but in our case it was curry powder, and I was only distracted in the kitchen for a few minutes.

The most alarming moment was seeing ds standing with empty curry powder pot in hand dribbling over his handiwork.

We had moved into the house - and put down lovely new carpets - days earlier.

we got away lightly then with DD standing in front of the mug cupboard calmy smashing them on the floor one by one!

Oh goodness where to start?

He got inside the tumble dryer, cue panicking DP thinking he'd been abducted by aliens or something.

He soaked himself and the kitchen floor while "washing up" and when stripped out of his wet clothes, while DP was getting a fresh outfit, he got out of the back door into the garden, semi-naked in over a foot of snow in full view of the road

He stuffed a dog chew down the inside of the printer - very glad we found that before heading to the repair shop!

He managed to climb via the table and two chairs up to the highchair tray where I found him proudly standing after nipping out for a minute.

He did that thing where in the space of a day they get tall enough to reach the large sharp carving knife you've left on the chopping board

He undid the locked gate and made his way onto the road in the time it took me to go into the house, pick up his trike from the hall and come out again

Countless incidents of pressing the reset button and losing unsaved work/games on the OC.

Today he took out of the fridge and broke 3 eggs.

All this he achieved in a year and a half. I am sure I will need medication to get me through the next couple of years!

When I was about 7 I stole all my Mum's Tampax and put them on top of the battlements of the castle I had made out of cardboard boxes for my school project. They were perfect as cannons.

My parents only discovered this when they saw my castle proudly on display at the school open day.

Does that count?

I learned that DD could crawl by hearing a bang and seeing a flash and looking up to see she had crawled across to the wall and pulled a lamp plug out of the socket.

fished a tampax applicator out the bathroom bin and was playing it like a whistle

ds aged 15mth -

heard some sqeaking and went into toy room to see dd shaking hamsters cage

put his dummy in loo, fished it out and out it back in his mouth as I lunged across the floor NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Unravelled the t roll and the three rolls in the t roll holder.Walked in bathroom and floor was three foot deep in white tissue with dd in the middle shouting wheeeeeeeeeee

Found my anusol and put the pointy bit in his mouth

took all the pebbles out of the gas fire and no matter how i try and rearrange the flames are all wonky

opened the dishwasher and took a large knife out.I lived on my nerves for days after this one

dd was NEVER like this....

a few months ago i took him to friends house to see her new baby.i walked in and it was pristine,white carpet,white furniture and thought mmm wont be like this for long....

ds walked over to potted plant and pulled it over then jumped all over the soil that fell out as she smiled and muttered "it really doesnt matter"

I don't care that this thread's 2 years old - it's hilarious!

When DS was 1.4 he apparently dialled 999 several times. Arrived home to find message on answerphone from concerned local bobby. Cue embarrassed phone call to police station.

Just recently (now 2.7) arrived home from trip out with daddy and presented me with a little red tractor. Turns out he'd stolen it from the toy shelf at the local farmshop .

Several near misses with electrical items. Never mind child proofing the plug sockets, the little monkey just takes them out and plugs things in.

Oh, and the incident with the spoon and the jar of mustard powder. He was horribly sick afterwards, poor mite.

sudocream seems to be a major factor in most of these hilarious familiar sounding stories!
that and shampoo over the carpet,
lipsticks on the walls, getting locked out, etc., etc.,

Love this thread.
DD playing upstairs at Grandmas with 3 boy cousins decided to clean the bathroom with Metanium cream then stripped the boys and herself ran a bath and was preceeding to get in before being caught!

called 999 (that was really embarrassing as they stayed on the phone for ages as they thought I was pretending it was him and was being attacked), drank a half bottle of calpol, put a whole tub of sudocream in his hair and then cut his own hair (had to go to the barbers to get his head shaved - he was only 2, he looked like a thug!) made me a breakfast out of all the cupboard ingredients mixed together,
pooed on a few carpets and walked in them...

when dd was 18 months she ate an entire tin of black shoe polish when i went for a pee. her poo was black for days!!

my brother when he was 5 went to a kids party and was taken by my mum but picked up by my Dad. When he was picked up though he didn't want to leave so he told the hosts he 'I don't know that man', so they called the police and kept my poor Dad in another room till they and my Mum arrived!