Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

[fuzzypeach]

also...
I was trying to open a packet of something or other for her once and she dissapeared off and came back holding an extremely large kitchen knife "to help you open it mummy!" which she had got out of the kitchen drawer -to make matters worse - we had someone from the local council parenting team round talking to us about a positive parenting course which we were starting!!

[willali]

DD aged 3 climbed from bed onto wide window ledge, opened (first floor)window and, hanging on to the centre strut of the window frame, leaned out and waved to all and sundry outside. I found her with most of her body outside the house and did a Bionic woman type leap across the room (obv in slo mo) and grabbed her in.

I still wake up in a cold sweat about this 6 years later.....

[willali]

fuzzy peach - are you me??

[MarthaMedicine]

After reading through all this, I now need to know.....

What is a buttplug???

Please???

[Mumcentreplus]

MM

here

[Mumcentreplus]

DD1 @ 18mths did a poo and promptly spread it all over the living room floor (thank god for wooden flooring!)I think it was a dirty protest!..I only left her to go talk to DH in another room for about 5 minutes!

when we came out and saw the mess all we could do was laugh/cry! ..I had to wrap plastic bags on my feet to clean it up...how a small child could do such a huge poo and spread it such a short time?

DDs washed my DHs moblie phone in the toilet

DD1 tried to powder DD2 and covered her face in baby powder all you could see were 2 little eyes looking out!

various times they covered themselves/furniture/toys with creams,lotions,vaseline,food,body glitter etc etc

[LissyGlitter]

Earlier today, DD wandered from the living room into the kitchen and straight back, like she is often doing, only this time, she then came up to me and said "mummy, hot!" I wasn't too alarmed, as she is always talking nonsense, so I casually asked her what was hot and she took my hand and led me to the oven, which she had turned on...I think it's time to start shutting the kitchen door!

[MarthaMedicine]

Mumcentreplus - Many thanks

I have to say, I am not convinced that such an istrument would enhance my sexual pleasure at all.

I am however happy to take on board the advice that "Many dildos lack a flared end, and thus it is ill-advised to use such dildos anally, since they may get stuck, requiring medical extraction".

[Mumcentreplus]

I'm not convinced either! after I read it the words 'malodorous scent' have stuck in my mind

[prettyfly1]

Lol. My son has done the sudocreme thing, made me a "cake" at six in the morning and followed the list up with various sick and disgusting things but NOTHING beats what he did to his step brother a couple of weeks ago.

DSS (6 1/2) and DS (3 nearly 4) were in the bath, I went downstairs to grab fresh towels. DSS can be a bit of a bully and took the opportunity to splash as much water in ds face as possible. Wouldnt stop so DS peed at him. And got it in his mouth. Cue gagging from dss and a concerned call from his mother. joy.

[Sycamoretree]

Not destructive but very -ing.

Walked into lounge to find DS approx 15 months sat in the middle of the dining room table next the fruit bowl, and apple in eat hand, a bite out of each, and two hamster cheeks full.

I didn't know whether to PMSL or have a heart attack.

[nappyaddict]

Why a heart attack?

[Sycamoretree]

Erm, because he'd managed to climb up a high chair and onto a high table and could have fallen off if I hadn't come in and grabbed him - and like, broken some bones?

[TheArmadillo]

I love this thread

since I first posted on it ds (now 4) has

at about 2 the day before us going on holiday whilst I was finishing packing, got the brand new huge tub of sudocreme of the top of the dresser and covered himself and the table with it. I walked in, he looked at me and said 'wasn't me'.

He also coloured in all the stripes on our hallway radiator at some point.

Whilst I was out of sight for 2 minutes he managed to get dp's saw, hammer and other assorted tools and dp came in to find him 'making things'.

[nappyaddict]

Oh right. DS has freqently sat/stood on the table and worktop. I'm of the thinking if they can get up there safely they can generally get down safely and if it's not as high as the slides which he has been going up since he could crawl then he probably won't come to too much harm. I obviously don't scare very easily!

[Sycamoretree]

My sisters DS broke his collar bone climbing out of his high chair at the same age.

And no, he could not climb down a table. It doesn't follow that what you can climb up you can climb down. Cats-trees type scenario, you see?

Yes, I think you are in the minority not to be scared by that, even momentarily.

[Sycamoretree]

And tables don't have slides down the other side

[Ledodgy]

Cut his curly hair off right down the front and middle so he looked like Max Wall. Pic on profile.

[Pinkjenny]

OMG Ledodgy.

[nappyaddict]

I never said they did but a slide is much higher than a table and they could theoretically fall backwards quite easily and break bones. Ditto my divan bed which is quite high and the arm of the sofa. Not sure what the is for? As I said some people are just more relaxed about these sorts of things - nothing wrong with that we are all different which is a good thing imo.

[smugmumofboys]

DS1 (now 6) cut his baby brother's hair with very sharp scissors which he had scaled several bookshelves to access (everything nailed to wall in our house).

Painted the walls in DH's study with a selection of paint samples.

Threw DS2 down the stairs when we had just moved into this house and hadn't got the stairgates up.

I could go on.

[saadia]

Mine wasn't exactly destructive but it makes me shudder. Little known to me, I only found out by chance one day, when ds2 went to the toilet he would drip a bit and would use the towel, that we used for drying hands, to wipe it with. I have no idea how long he had been doing this but the thought of it is just so horrible.

[hazeyjane]

dd1 swallowed half a tube of Colgate

dd2 coloured in her lips with a red felt tip pen (this morning) - she looks like a scary toddler Marilyn Monroe.

[VinoEsmeralda]

DS ate his own poo (didnt like it), managed to open a child locked drawer with kitchen knives and had a 'pirate' fight with DD (I heard this cling cling noise and have never been so quick!) He climbed upon the kitchen surface and opened my vitamin pills (in cupboard) and downed a few with a litre pack of smoothie.

He also used to have an obsession with toilets and one day I heard a hollow 'help me mummy' and he was stuck with his head in the toilet (seat had fallen around his shoulders and got stuck

He is a well balanced calm 5 year old now!

[stripeypineapple]

My DD locked me and my aged grandmother in her kitchen so I had to(in my PJ's and barefooted) climb out of the window onto the roof, leap across the path, into a tree and climb/fall down that to get round to the front door to let my self back in to rescue grandma.

My friends DS woke up before everyone else one morning and got a litre bottle of oil from the cupboard and poured it over her beautiful new, expensive rug.

How lovely and experimental toddlers are.