Worst thing your toddler has got up to unsupervised

[MiaWallace]

Following on from the thread about leaving toddlers to play unsupervised -

What is the worst thing yours has got up to when unsupervised?

Dd managed to get a tub of emulsion out of a cupboard with a safety lock on it, somehow got the lid of the tub, and then proceeded to smear the emulsion all over the stair carpet and banister.

What tales of destruction have you got?

DS has:

-Fed the whole contents of the fridge to the dog.
-Made "potions" out of everything he could in in the bathroom and used it beautify himself and his cousin.
-Filled the washing machine drawer with a full box of soap powder and turned it on. Had to take the whole thing apart to clean the pipes which were blocked with damp powder.

DD1 has:

• Cut her hair with wallpaper scissors.
• Phoned the police station (they were very sympathetic that mummy had stolen her dolly - she had left it outside and wasnt impressed that I binned it cos is was mouldy).
• Lifted newborn DD2 out of her moses basket and tried to carry her downstairs to play (she was barely 2 at the time). Didn't get out of my sight for weeks after that one.

DD2 has:

• Covered herself and various parts of the house in sudocream on countless occassions.
• Painted a picure on my newly painted bedroom wall with masacara.
• Our puppy is completely covered in pink shimmery barbie body powder "to make him beautiful".

There are plenty more I could add but getting for bed now and no doubt will be plenty more.

Have been chortling away as I read these, and thinking, "Sure my DD hasn't done anything, but then get flashbacks!"

So...

DD whilst cat has pet lampshade thingy on - decided to tie toy dog and it's lead to cat and drag both downstairs. Cat was not impressed, but survived!

DD decided to paint a picture of cat the other week, so started to paint on paper whilst cat sat on chair next to her. I pop out of room, and came back to dicover proud DD with said cat now green to match the painting! Cue hasty cleaning of cat!

DD decided to be helpful and empty her own potty full of runny poo... into sink. Cue Mummy trying not to be cross or feeling sick, as she clean said poo out of sink.

Oh and another cat related tale .... hhmm suspect shall be getting visit from RSPCA! Whilst just starting to toddle, DD managed to shut our other cat (for a change!) head in stairgate - cue frantic cat trying to escape, and toddler pushing gate close on head. MIL who was looking after DD has to wrench gate open, as cat head was stuck fast. Cue hissy hysterical cat who has never forgiven my MIL since (hiss at her whenever she's near him, or gives her evils! ) but all that was injuried was his pride.

Ah the joys of parenting small children eh?!

Ds cut my brand new dress with scissors. He cut a brand new shirt with scissors whilst he was wearing it. He used green felt tipped pen on my white bathroom grout. There's more, but not tonight...

Ds 20 months has done so many bad things i've blocked them from my mind but just yesterday he

1)Tipped 3 litres of milk on the kitchen table to which his response was wow.

2. Removed nappy and pooed in his cot then screamed because he was scared of the poo.

3)Ate a fairy washing powder tablet after i might add refusing to eat his dinner. I then had to phone work in a complete panic, i work at a hospital, admit my complete incompetence as a parent and get them to look up the poisons info website mainly because this was less painful than attending the kids A&E again . I am now wide awake because i am completely paranoid about inhaling frothy sick and it being my fault.
His list of achievments also include, i'm pleased to see i'm not alone on this one, removing the keys from my laptop and throwing my mobile phone in a sink full of water.

I do have a 4 yo DD who i can't remember doing as many naughty things but she did once stick an entire rolled up bay leaf up her nose and dial 999 for which i recieved a stern telling off.

Fab thread. My boys have not (yet) done anything worse that crapping in the bath.

When I was three, we had a spare room where one of my dads friends had left a load of furniture and vinyl records for safekeeping. I took them all out of their sleeves and dropped them to see how they broke.

DS, aged 12 months, got the jar of Sudocrem from the change table and shampooed with it... all over him, the carpet, the tile floor in the kitchen... the cat even!! The long-haired cat... aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!!

Having now read the rest of the thread (and PMSLing!!!) I see that Sudocrem is a recurring theme on this thread, but that he is the first to shampoo the cat with it...

ds 3 has had vapour rub smeared in his hair like gel, put my mascara on, eat sudocream, drunk tixylix,

Drawn on practically every wall in the house, mostly with an indelible marker.

Put the end of a new roll of loo paper in the loo and then flushed it to look at it all disappearing down there, and then screaming for me when it got blocked up.

Squeezed a whole new tube of toothpaste into the cat's basket.

Messed up two quite expensive make up sets of mine, put her fingers in the gloss etc and ruined them (that was quite recent and she's 5)

haven't read the thread - but sure I must win.

Was busy with DS1 and 2 a few minutes ago and realised that DS3 wasn't interfering. We went to look for him and found the front door wide open and no sign of him. Thank god he'd only got as far as the next door neighbours drive and was investigating their cars - he could have gone anywhere

My niece once 'put kitty in a jar to stop him running away'. A jar with a screw lid.

at kitty and FAQ!!! What do I have to look forward to...

My daughter also called 999 and hung up. A few minutes later the phone rang and I had the police on the line asking me whether everything was ok because someone had rung them from our number. I told them they must have it wrong - there was no one home other than - ooooh....

LOL at all these messages.

My DS has ran police and a few random people. A good friend showed me my phone has a lock on it the other day......thank god!

Whilst on the phone to a call centre DS (age 11 months) managed to tear the straps off his high chair, climb out, get into the bathroom and eat half a toilet block before I noticed.
Fortunately the NHS helpline assured me that at his weight it's fine for him to eat up to two of the duck citrus toilet blocks and that he would be fine.
Good mind to take that high chair back to Argos though...

My DS wasn't even a bloody toddler when he did this!

He was 12 months old and was on a very strict dairy and lactose free diet.
So anyway i put him in his babywalker one day (this was before all the hoo-har about them) and i sat on the sofa, i ended up falling alseep after a very grueling night.

Anyway i realise im asleep and sit up thinking 'oh sh*t i have fallen asleep while ds is playing' any way i look over to find DS still in his walker and the little minkey had managed to open the cupoard and pull out a tray full of all butter flapjacks and had eaten the bloody lot! He wasn't to poorly luckily, he had a huge grin on his face and was clapping where he was excited.

Gracie DS2 has eaten a packet of toilet cakes aswell, how he managed to get through 4 of them without vomiting i shall never know, i to had to call NHS direct. My mum used to have NHS direct poison control on speed dial becuase i was always eating and drinking things i shouldn't be. When i was 7 i drunk battery acid. I was so sick.

Battery acid is a lot worse than toilet block. Your mom definitely wins this thread!

I wasn't a toddler though and what makes it worse was i found the old car battery smashed up in the playing field, my mom was so worried she cried continuously in the ambulance, i felt so guilty!

DD, whilst on a visit to my work, managed to delete all of the desktop shortcuts from my colleague's computer whilst we were chatting.

She's also fond of drinking stagnant water out of my festering weeding buckets that never seem to make it to the shed....

Touch wood I've obviously been getting away lightly for the last 4.6 years, have had the usual covering herself from head-to-toe with sudocrem/sun lotion scenario, and various random scribblings, however...

Just after Christmas had her (fairly new) best friend from nursery round. Needless to say me and BF's Mum parked ourselves with coffee, biscuits and BF's little brother fast akip on a blanket on the living room floor, and let the girls get on with it upstairs.

Both of them have blonde hair, BF's being particularly long and beautiful, and it wasn't until after they'd left I found a large clump of blonde hair on my bed.

Thankfully DD had cut her own hair, and now has it all one length on one side, and a bit of a 'Rachel' on the other. You don't really notice it unless you're looking for it and she did a pretty good job !

Was just soooo relieved she hadn't cut BF's!

my ds aged 2.5 only yesterday managed to open 3 bean bags at nursery as he needed some snow for the other children...i did ask were the staff were when he had done this...never does anything naughty at home!

Visions of 'Look, Mummy... kitty asleep!'