How many of you were honestly happy when your children were small?

[DangerQuakeRhinoSnake]

Please tell me it gets better?

I'm constantly worried I'm not giving them enough attention, the house is a mess we can never find anything because I have no time to sort it out, my oh and I are stressed out and argue, some days I'd like to punch his lights out!

I think I just need to know it won't always be like this.

No it certainly won't. How old are your dc?

How small is small?

Almost four and 7 months.

Not me. I hated it.
Much better as teenagers. It's the neediness I couldn't cope with.

Well in my experience and that of my friends, it certainly gets a lot better. 4 or 5 is the real start of exciting Christmas fun (and possibly the start of the end of the tantrums). They are more biddable, you can negotiate more and I definitely don't lose my temper as much. A 6 year old can be a big help too. Hang in there Op it gets loads better and easier

Look sounds to me like you are being hard on yourself, children are very resilient, if your house is safe and you are safe don't stress it...focus on the things that need to be done like playing with them talking with them spending time as a family...houses I know people who have never got their houses straight...if you work concentrate on that work life balance children have many needs most of them are completed just by being about and giving them time boundaries are important decide what you want to get done work towards it don't beat yourself up ask for help if you need it just enjoy the present

Not at all happy, it was grim. It's brilliant now they're older though! Hang in there.

I'm really glad you posted this. Important for people to know they're not alone, and everything gets easier xx

No. There was a period inbetween where it was OK and now my eldest is approaching her teens and suffering MH problems and it's difficult again.

I found it really hard for a good few years. On the whole it got easier every year. They are now 13 and 14 and I am very happy. Mine are close together in age and for me age 2 and 3 were the pits. Began to get significantly better when they were both at school - which also tends to coincide with not needing continuous attention. It got much better when I could just send them away for a bit (as in " go and play" not sending them away to boarding school or anything like that!).

I agree with darknanny, don't worry about a messy house. Mine was a pigsty at times but I'm glad I put playing with DC before housework a lot of the time. I also made time for me. Do that if you can.

Thank you. I'm not even back at work yet and I'm feeling overwhelmed.

By the time the kiddies are in bed we are too shattered mentally and physically to get anything worthwhile done, or even talk to each other most nights. How we're still together I don't know. Both of us biding our time until things get easier maybe.

I have a 3 year old and a6 month old, I love them dearly but I absolutely hate the fact that I never get the stuff done I would like, even putting washing away is an accomplishment 😌

Youngest now 6 and it is sooooo easy compared to your stage. Actually really enjoying Xmas whereas previously hated it. Busy yes, hard work,yes but not that messy relentless exhausted tunnel. For me turnaround was when youngest was 3. (I do miss their toddler and babyness though......sigh)

I was happy when they were babies although it was hard work as we have twins and I was exhausted most of the time.

The trick is to find happiness in small things: a pretty day; your baby learning something new; your little one singing carrolls.

Either let go your worries about how the house looks or agree with your DH a way to tackle it. You don't need hours and hours. 15 minutes of focused tidying a day can make a big difference.

We found that we had to actively make time for our relationship as husband and wife (separate from being Mum and Dad). A bit of time to set aside worries and just be together not talking about the children.

But yes, it does get easier. My kids are lovely and good fun.

I'm not going to think ahead to the teenage years

Oh I'm so glad you posted this. Mine are 4 months and not quite 3. I'm finding it really tough generally and today has been particularly bad. DD1 is really pushing things - general terrible two stuff no doubt exacerbated by a still fairly new sibling. We've got family staying, one who is interfering and the other who makes it clear he thinks our parenting is lacking. Tbh I think he's right. DH and I have been bickering all day, which I know doesn't help at all. In our defence we're knackered, but still. It's just all so fucking hard and we seem to get everything wrong. I'm currently feeding DD2 to sleep and trying not to cry.

highlove 😞 I know exactly what you mean re the bickering...

I have 3 under 4 😱😱😱 and itsfucking hard. But. It's a tiny bit easier than 3 months ago. Baby (mostly ) sleeps through. Will be left with other people for a day. Older 2 properly get Christmas but have some vague sense of delayed gratification and concept of time (tomorrow/next week/the weekend). It's still hell and we mostly tag team to get 5 mins peace and then collapse on the sofa with wine at 7.03pm. But I can see the future. I can almost graspe it. If only the baby wasn't teething...

It's shit 90% of the time, mine are 4 and 15 months, the other 10% is what makes the relentless, exhausting and repetitive task of parenting worth while.

I was so utterly miserable when my son was little that I can literally barely stand to remember it. It was made far worse by the fact that I had to take a lot of unpaid leave on top of my maternity leave. Things are a million times better now he's four and wonderful, and I'm back in the thick of work...

Mine are now 10, 12 and 14. I would rather walk over hot coals than go back to the baby and toddler years. So yes, it does get much better.

I am so so relieved reading this..

Genuinely surprised by this thread, mine are 10 and 7 and I was never happier than she I was at home and they were babies and toddlers. I miss it so so much, I'd love to do it again.

There were times when DC2 was little that I regretted ever having children. Actually, that was an almost daily feeling.

But it does get better. I'm due with DC4 now, and feel like I've got things relatively under control now (had a bigger age gap between DC2 and 3), have a good routine, and have two fairly independent children who can take care of themselves while I have a shower etc.

It gets infinitely easier once they're in school. Not just because you get a break from them, but because they get a sort of newfound independence, and are old enough to be reasoned with, old enough to understand actions and consequences, old enough to entertain themselves for a while etc. And old enough to help clean up/tidy up after themselves!

I have a three year old and a 15 month old. I have flashes of absolute blinding happiness. On a rainy Tuesday afternoon when the three of us are curled up on the sofa watching a movie and just cuddling. When I'm pushing the trolley around the supermarket and I have no deadlines or stresses or places I need to go apart from be there and play row row with the toddler.

I also have days when I don't feel i can do it another day longer. I can't be the mum. I can't be the parent. I can't be the wife. I can't wipe another bum, I can't cut up another cucumber only to pick it off the floor ten minutes later.

Some days suck balls. Some months suck balls. Some points of my life are so stressful I vibrate for days on end with it.

Light and shade and increasing amounts of drudgery that I know will pass sooner than I realise.

Following with interest. I have a 23 month old and a 6 month old. Every day is like a massive marathon. Baby doesn't sleep through, I can't go to the loo when I want or shower when I want. Leaving the house feels like it's more trouble than it's worth some days. I love them to bits but I wish it wasn't so hard!!