How many of you were honestly happy when your children were small?

[DangerQuakeRhinoSnake]

Please tell me it gets better?

I'm constantly worried I'm not giving them enough attention, the house is a mess we can never find anything because I have no time to sort it out, my oh and I are stressed out and argue, some days I'd like to punch his lights out!

I think I just need to know it won't always be like this.

Pockets of happiness. But in retrospect I found it very stressful.

ssd that sounds a bit harsh and resentful.

I've never dumped the kids on the Grandparents just because I was having a bad day.

Don't go overboard with the "these are precious times, I have got to enjoy every moment of them". Times with pre-teens and teenagers are also precious times, and sometimes they can be all the sweeter with the memories of some tough times you have come through.

SSD
I said I loved every minute. I did. I miss it terribly.
I never left my children with grandparents. My DS was never away from me until he started playgroup at 2 years 9 months, he went for two 2 hour sessions a week. He spent one night away from me when I was in hospital having his sister. The same with DD except she started playgroup at 2years 11 months and has never spent a night away from me.
They are 10 and 7 now, their baby and toddlerhoods were the very best time of my life.

The parents who say they loved it when the kids were small are the ones with the helpful granny/MIL just round the corner who they could dump said small kids on when ever they fancied whichwasmostweekends

We have grandparents and other family members available to look after our children (not every weekend - more like a couple of times a year). We also sent them to nursery from about 7 months and have often used this time to either have a day with each other or to ourselves. I still found it incredibly difficult having young, needy and dependant children. I still found the days and the weekends long, dull, stressful and repetitive.

Teenagers are funny and sweet. They get a bad press. I live with two and work with many more.

Loved my 2 when they were small and never had any help. No family or friends. Just moved to area.

They are teens now and feel this is the most hardwork.

When my kids were tiny, only 19 months between them, I used to cry every morning when my DP left for work. I dreaded being alone for 11 hours with them. It was endless tedious repetitive chores, whining, crying, boredom. I didn't have a car so dragged them out to the shops or the park to break the monotony. I almost lost my mind. They never slept, I had them all over me all the time and was very depressed and a bit obsessed about being "perfect"

The mess and chaos they generated had me in tears. Now they're 9 and 8 things are so much easier, even though my youngest has ASD. Having young children and babies is hard!!

I think the art of having 2 under 2's is to go out lots and not be a perfectionist.

Or it could be that I love going on kiddy rides and took dd 2 and ds 6months to Legoland every other day during the summer

I love it, I have a 4 year old and 2 year old and am 32+2 with my third. Their grandparents very, very rarely have them so no, I don't 'dump' them. I'm a sahm and my husband works full time. The house isn't a show home but its clean and tidy and 6 days a week I cook. I'm tired yes and o have some days when I'm relieved that the kids have gone to bed but on a whole I love it. ATM my eldest goes to preschool two full days and one half, she starts 'big school' I'm September. My youngest starts preschool in January 2018 (both October born). I'm so glad I'll have all of them home a few days out of the week for a few months when baby is here. I'm really not looking forward to then all starting school but I'm sure it will all be fine x

Ha, I remember my friend advising, when our DC were preschoolers, that the key to survival and minimising mess etc was to get out lots. However, her idea of 'out' seemed to translate into coming to my house more often than not, so I didn't get much opportunity to put it into practice .

In fact, she had a bit of a rota of houses she used to go to. It made me smile ironically when she'd say she didn't find it hard to keep the house tidy even with young DC, and I'd think "Well, no - because you're never there!". Quite a handy tip OP .

I'm also one who goes out a lot. We only have one day a week we don't go out of the house. We go to the park, library, playgroups, museums, for walks,, swimming, into town, out to eat often. Do other things like the zoo and other more expensive things a lot less often but try to do something like that as a family once a month. I tend to do a lot of cleaning early on then go out then just have another little clean and tidy in the evening. I also fond keeping on top of it the best way. E.g, as soon as there's enough for a load of washing it gets done, the dishes get washed straight after eating, I hoover round once a day, clean the bathroom while the kids are in the bath. Lots of multi tasko g type stuff haha

Same ages and same problems here. I wasn't expecting it to be like this at all! And is worse since weaning started as there's even more laundry, if that is possible. I wish maternity leave started at age 4 - perhaps the summer before they start school would be a nice time. I really miss my job. Thanks for posting OP.

Yes agree that going out lots helps. When I was at home, I had an outing most mornings and another most afternoons - definitely didn't like a whole day in on our own. Went to toddler groups, friends houses, library, toddler classes etc. I needed more company and found the kids did better too when not just at home.

Appreciate some people enjoy being at home more, but think a lot of people get cabin fever and that being with a few more people helps diffuse some of the stress and over-thinking that can go on when you're at home all day with people who can't talk and who aren't logical!

Once the kids were a bit older I was much happier spending longer periods of time at home. It's not just about the mess, but also about not needing to input every single minute too - being able to leave the room and them for firstly 5 mins and then a bit longer, until you can go hours without seeing them! Ha.....that's when the serious Mnetting starts!

Oh yes and totally agree with the going out. DS is lovely but feel like we both have cabin fever if we stay in! The people I know who have enjoyed being SAHMs/mat leave most are those who always liked being at home anyway.

Not read all of these but my oldest DS are 8 & 6, it gets soooo much easier, hang on in there. My youngest is 3.5 and I do find the 1.5-3 year old stage sooo hard, don't get me wrong the 8 & 6 year olds come with challenges, but definitely the toddler/pre school age is hard work

I found going our hard because the behaviour would be unpredictable. I preferred dealing with it behind closed doors. If anything, going out was harder and expensive and it disrupted naps which made behaviour worse. I much preferred being at home. At least I could deal with it how I wanted instead of in front of people I didn't really know

For the one who mentioned grandparents, I agree. It's much easier if you have a break and some life of your own and there's no shame in that if grandparents are able to help. Grab it with both hands

The parents who say they loved it when the kids were small are the ones with the helpful granny/MIL just round the corner who they could dump said small kids on when ever they fancied whichwasmostweekends

Certainly not true in my case and quite a nasty thing to say IMO on what has been a very supportive thread so far.

I do have helpful grandparents just round the corner and would agree that makes a massive difference. Although it's still really hard work despite that, and as they do childcare during the week when we're working they're not really available for dumping when we feel like we need a break.

I've loved reading this thread, thank you all.

DC are 3 and 10 months. It is relentless, as many have said - just literally chores from morning til night. Baby doesn't sleep through the evening and still wakes loads at night so parenting feels 24/7. I do work part time but he hates nursery and I feel guilty. With my eldest work was a break but now I feel I'm neglecting them.

Glad to hear it improves. I was expecting 3 to be better than 2 and it's definitely not!

I should add I have no family I had just moved into a new area and dp was away 1 week in every 2 and when he was home left home at 6.30am and didn't get back till 8pm so really no help at all.
I did love it when they were that age because I was in charge. Now everything is either a negotiation or argument or they cant find anything because they have lost it. It is exhausting

I found it really really hard when mine were small. Constantly guilting myself out that I wasn't giving them enough attention yet also desperately trying to find some time for myself away from everyone.

I don't know when it lets up, everyone's different and each age brings different challenges.

I liked my children a lot more once we could talk properly about something other than Mr Tumble.

Hang in there

I love my lo being small. He's 15 months now and growing up far too fast. My house is tidy, I get stuff done. I've cried at every milestone. I wish he could stay a baby forever