I am an awful mother

[hideousmother]

I am feeling awful because I know I am a pathetic excuse of a mother.
I don't want to be as awful as I am, but I am trying hard to keep on top form through very stressful situations & failing miserably.
I guess I am calling out for help on how to keep my cool & be the kind of mother I should be, regardless of whatever else is going on around me.
I don't want to cause extra stress to my children, that's my greatest fear - but I am not as patient as I should be & know I am being a terrible mother to my boys.
I just feel I cannot cope with things.

Most of my friends have their own children, so I wouldn't expect them to have mine too.
My family are often busy doing their own thing & when I take them round my parents, I actually feel I run around more than I do at home!
Their father has recently come home & on seeing how stressed I am, he has taken them for a drive in the car.

could you try and get some sleep?

I won't sleep now because if I do I won't sleep tonight (I've been sleeping terribly at night recently), but I feel I need to just sit quietly for a bit & re-charge my batteries!