ANY OTHER FORCES WIVES OUT THERE?

[frenziednester]

Just been chatting with 3andnomore on another thread and wondered if there are any more of us on mumsnet who would like a chat and a comforting moan? I am on my own atm - hubby away for 4 months, and would love to swap 'home alone with the kids' stories - good and bad, and also a good gossip about the other wives we are left with! A much safer outlet for frustration than the hive!

Hi everyone. I feel an imposter here. I coudn't do what you girls do for anyone. But any friendly faces will be welcome over the next two weeks. I have no idea how you cope, even if you do not have a phobia like mine, eg how on earth do you feel about having to make all the day to day decisions about your children alone? Attend parents' evening alone? deal with all the little upsets? It seems so hard that you should have to do these things alone when you are not actually a single parent.

Welcome DG, you are not an imposter, everyones welcome. It's hard when they are away but for us it goes with the wedding ring.

DH is currently away for 9 weeks and decisions about the children etc just have to happen but it isn't easy.

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down, you'll always be welcome here, jsut wish I could say something to make you feel better. It must be especially hard for you though dealing with your phobia too

Hello DG, you can stay here a slong as you like. I'm afraid I can't offer much advice about coping with your phobia. However, like many on here i've had plenty experience of being on my own with the DSs.

Which time of day is the worst? I read your other threads, and you said you go to bed early, well that's ok, even if you don't actually sleep, at least you are resting. I sometimes put the days into blocks of time. I do have days where i really struggle to cope, especially since the DS play up when DH is away. For example, I put 7 -9 am - breakfast, getting ready for school, going to school. I get through the bad days that way.
Just remember we are all here in cyberspace to help out, even if we can't physically do anything.
Your oldest child should be able to help a little, have you explained it all to him/her (sorry i forgot which your eldest is). At that age they can be a lot more understanding than we give them credit for.
Sorry i have really waffled on, and probably not given you much help

The worst time for me is definitely the night - just for the potential of it being disturbed. After that, the second worst time is the evening, when dh would normally be home. I know pretty well all parents are a bit frazzled by bedtime, and it helps to think of everyone else in the same boat, but sometimes, that time nearly does for me. Ds1 doesn't go to bed until 8:30 either so I don't get as long to rest in the evening as I used to.

Mornings, I can manage as dh always leaves for work by 7:30 anyway so I am used to the mad morning rush alone. Plus, I am lucky in that three of my children are at school all day and the fourth at least goes to playgroup for the mornings, so I get my little break from hassle then.

Ds1 is only 10 and not very mature. It always makes me smile grimly when dh goes away. It says to the children, "be good for Mum" and they say "yes" but actually, I don't see them make any particular effort for me when I am alone at all. If anything, they are worse.

What's the usual length of time to wait for an MQ offer to come through? DH phoned the DHE woman down at Portsmouth and she said to him that they can allocate an MQ up to 4 months in advance. He put the paperwork in over 10 workings days ago and we haven't heard anything. We find this a bit odd as she said there was only one area which had empty MQ's in the whole place!
Is it normal to wait this long? It's over 4 years since i last applied for one

Thanks loopy, (not that i think your -loopy that is). i made a note of your email address, and also have daisynut's somewhere, but i think she was offline for a while.

I'm just getting a bit fed up waiting, and because I CM, I cannot give the mindees parents a definate date until I find out when I am moving

Think it depends where your posted to, friends are going to york in June and already have their address, CM who has just gone to Germany had hers 3 weeks before they went. Mindee who is leaving in May hasn't heard anything, we got the one we are in now, 3 days after applying.

dg - yes you are very welcome, we're all in the same boat at the end of the day - mums getting by with my DH at the minute he's home for the weekends only so it's a bit of a drag. how are you doing within yourself? I know it probably doens't really help with the praticalitys v well, but I find getting out of the house - even if it's only to the park with a friend/out for a walk with a friend/walk to the shop it helps to get the day past ifcwim.

salt - right i'm in the area camera's armed and ready! lol. althou after much deliberating with mum here's the low down on the schools. your children if you live in paulsgrove could possibly go to Northern infants/jouniors. (sp) from where you will live it's down a big hill then a long walk (will prob take around 20-25 mins I recon - and it's also along a busy road (well busish) and crossing the main road - but they have a warden. other school would be Saxon Shore - a lot closer - prob 10 mins max, but it's a steep down hill going so you guessed it a steep up hill coming back. Saxon shore comes under Portsmouth county council, but any others would come under Hampshire mum says it's hantsweb.com you need to look at to see the ofstead reports. I think our address came thru after about 2 weeks - but we only had 8 weeks notice, and DH was away for 4 of those Typical army so I had to deal with it all. anyhow this week i'm at mums so any question on schooling now's the time to ask! lol.

shosha- can you ask about bramcote/nuneaton for me - the housing etc what it's like in relation to ours (specifically the ones our end and the nicer ones that end! lol)

munz you're back what happened to daisynut?

I don't feel like a daisy anymore - something to do with the scales and my weight anyhow still offline apart from this week when i've burdened mum/dad with us as DH has kicked us out for the week - on the basis he has a really important crammer for his class one this week and can't study with J there screaming.

well it's great to have to back mate I missed you! I'm doing WW at home if you want to join me? Weigh in every Sunday morning xx

lol. i've been trying for a sat am, do you know what no of points you're allowed for 12st? shosha don't tell everyone thou! lol. I did try to stop choccy this month but you know what it's like a holiday this week, DH away next week, then it's easter so I might as well not try till that's over surely .

Anyone of you in cyprus? We have just been told our next posting!

Drusilla - my parents are at Ay Nik (near Dhekelia), and I've been at Akrotiri & DH was at Episkopi, so ask away if you've got any questions. It's a fab place

Portsmouth ladies - is there much to do there? Is there a sing & sign group? Soft play places? Any good M&T groups?

Laura - Ay Nik is where we are going! Most obvious question is what are the quarters like... We only have 1 DS and have been told to ask for one of the older bungalows on the Caywood(?) Estate to ensure a three bed.

Drusilla - The Caywoods are very old quarters, and look awful, but are (IMO) OK inside. The upside is the rent is only about £30 a month, and you get free electric (no gas). I think they are all 3 bed. Got to dash now, but any more questions, ask away. When are you posted out? I could get my mum and dad to do some photos of the quarters for you (if they can find their camera!!)

Hello! I had no ida there was a service wives thread! Been on here since September last year, doh!

Im in Portsmouth, well Gosport. DH is based in Plymouth at the moment but should be at Collingwood in September. Im relocating back to Plymouth to have baby #6 at Easter (all family there) I moved here in August last year and DH has been away for most of it. I have really struggled to settle in and make friends.

Anyone else near me?

Thanks Laura. We're not fussy so the old quarters sound fine to us There were some pics of the various estates on the Hive website so I've had a look at that. What I really want to know is does the pre-school/nursery take children before the age of 3? The Hive website says 3 and 4 yr olds. I am in the process of settling a clingy 2 yr old into nursery 2 mornings a week and really want to be able to continue the pattern once we move in June. I don't suppose your parents could find that out could they? Sorry, very cheeky, I know...

Drusilla - I will get my mum to ask tomorrow for you. She works in the Families Office, so this sort of query is just her thing

littlelapin & loopymumsy - thanks for your replies. Sounds great! Hopefully I'll meet up with some of you at the various groups