ANY OTHER FORCES WIVES OUT THERE?

[frenziednester]

Just been chatting with 3andnomore on another thread and wondered if there are any more of us on mumsnet who would like a chat and a comforting moan? I am on my own atm - hubby away for 4 months, and would love to swap 'home alone with the kids' stories - good and bad, and also a good gossip about the other wives we are left with! A much safer outlet for frustration than the hive!

Glad we're not the only ones that have the magic honeymoon period for a couple of days.

In fact a few of my friends have had real problems when DH has returned from being away leading to counselling.

You just have to get on with it while he's away don't you and then he comes home and upsets the routine during a time when it's supposed to be special and everyone is supposed to be happy.

We learn something from every detatchment he goes on. For us the worst time is just before he goes, that's when we argue, he is focused on the job coming up I am trying to keep the home going, everyone is getting tetchy and upset and all the while I'm thinking "and he hasn't even gone yet!!!" Once he's gone at least every day is a step closer to him coming home.

OOhh don't know where all that came from Feeling much better this morning and the sun is sort of shining! Out to lunch with friends today so we should have a much better day. Speak to you all later

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Morning Shosha - not feeling too bad. DS has gone to bed for his nap, DD wants to watch the library DVD once more before we take it back later on and I have just run myself a bath. So I'm going to put the kettle on and have a nice cuppa in the bath. I hate this out of control feeling - children have managed to knock over 2 glasses of juice and DS tipped his bowl of cornflakes all over him all in the space of 30 mins. How come this never happens when DH is around!! aaarrrggghhh

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Great idea - will try that one!

morning girls!

MD - glad you're feeling happier this morning. I knwo exactly where you're coming from wit teh pre tour etc, I remember ringing my uncle (he's artillary just finished his 22 this xmas) and saying what's it really like don't lie to me tell me the truth then on to my aunty what's it like waht's gonna happen what should I do etc, DH was ready for this war he thought he'd be going to etc and was tetchy I was stressed out that he might not come home and tried to be upbeat, well you all know how it is.

infact a friend of mine and her DP split up over it - althou tbh she couldn't understand why he wanted to see his nan how was v v poorly before he went away - she kept thinking he had another girl on the go cos he was away (basically she didn't understand tbh) was a shame thou, but obv he needed to concnetrate on his job iycwim.

anyhow I spied another forces lady last night - this time a mum in so we'll have to hoist her over as well - I know we're the other side of the fence but we're all the same as well. iycwim.

Shosha, that mirror is a mrvellous idea, lol!
And it is just as hard when they are not continously away for a period of time, just sort of constantly here and there...when dh was Provo he didn't actually really go away, however, he was home less then ever, because he often put in 7 days a week at work, and we have had a fair few times when we had "gotten down to it" that the phone rang and he was called out (tmi, sorry)
McDreamy, sounds like a nightmare morning, hope the day improves for you!
And we are in Corby, dh is posted in Leicester, and will be till he is retired.
Whereabouts in Cyprus are you? I loved Cyprus, we were in Dhekelia, I had the best time of my life, even though dh was away a fair bit (or maybe because )however, as I am priginally from germany, and we had been posted in England the years prior our cyprus time, I was alreadu used to being away in a different country, lol....I am sure that made it easier.
Was able to do my Horseriding then, which was lovely....travelled around the Island a bit for the shows, know a bit about Episkopi, Akrotiri and Famagusta, too...the stables and the hacking area anyway, lol!

Munz we x-posted....
that is a bit weak though, NOT to understand that your partner/dh wants to see especially poorly familymembers before departing....what is not to understand about that?
I do remember however getting really annoyed before dh deployed to Sierra Leone, as he spend a fair few days before going out with the lads drinking, and that annoyed me, because, well, he was gonna be away with those lads the next few month, seeing them everyday, but was gonna leave us behind, so, at that time his priority should have been a few nights at home, spending time with us

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You certainly don't give that impression cod!

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er far from it....I was just really surprised to hear your background. You must understand how it is then what with your dad not being around all the time.

I was a forces child too (you think I would have learnt eh!) and it was even harder then. I was born in Germany and I remember my mum telling me her mum didn't find out I'd even been born until 2 weeks later as she had to inform her by post!!

At least we have all the technology around us today, have spoken to DH twice this morning by email!

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Pre children DH did a weekly commute for 9 months and IMO that was worse than the 4 mth det he had.

yes, I find the short stints away much harder than the long ones - especially when dh turns up at the weekend with huge amounts of washing, has the audacity to stand everywhere in the house where I want to be (tongue in cheek) and creates trails of mess. At least with the long times away you get into a rhythm. I always find we have a little routine - I feel sad a month before, then pick holes in everything he does for a week before so that subconsciously I am itching for him to go, then change my mind 2 days before, and then when he gets back we wrestle for 'king of the remote' for a week. We always have a bumpy first month back together and then somehow we merge again.

yep sounds like the McDreamy household too!

My DS was born in 2005 just when DH was due for anoter detachment and so the RAF delayed it for us (fantastic!) but instead he had to be on call to go and collect casulaties a a moments notice - this was def worse than a deployment. He could walk in the hiusae at any moment and say i'm off to any where in the world ihn 30 mins and I don't know when I will be back!! A

As has been previously said at least when they go away for a period of time you get into a routine and don't get used to anyone being around except you!

Amazing how much more gets done!! Evenings and weekends are the worst though!!

yeah evenings can be bad....especially if the Kids play up, sigh...

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6 weeks leave! My goodness shosha, I can't cope with Dh at home for a week, never mind 6

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I agre the weekends are the pits - I hate them and am counting this tour in weekends, not days. But I quite like having the evenings alone - my mum is here atm god love her and is doing so much around the house to help and let me rest that I feel I should spend all the evenings with her, when ordinarily I quite like time to Study, surf the net and watch rubbish.