suspect MIL has give bf DD formula

[s098]

Sorry for the rant but need to get it out!
Yesterday me and my OH had a day out and left our nearly 6 month old Dd with OH's mum. She's always made hints about me changing to formula from breastfeeding and always hint s about lookimg after dd more when shes on solids/ formula.
We were gone from about 9.30 am till 5pm and MIL made out like dd had been unsettled due to teething ( which is probably true) but that she didn't want much milk. I thought there was still alot of the expressed milk left when we picked dd up ( she had probably had one feeds worth!!) amd today she hasn't pooed at all which is very unlike her, its normally atleast twice a day! I've also noticed the bottle she'd used is greasy inside which has never happened with the breastmilk.
Now sat here feeling really annoyed if she has done that, she's got no reason to to it. Dd is happy on breastmilk and its my choice when i change to formula!
What would everyone else do in this situation? There's no way i cam prove anything but im pretty certain! MIL also gave her grandson a dummy when his parents are against them so this adds to my suspicion!

What makes you think that greasy bottle = formula?

Surely if she were sneaky enough to go to the shop, buy formula, give formula, wash the bottle and lie about it she'd have chucked one of the bottles of ebm down the sink?

Your thought processes seem flawed here.

Op I would feel and be thinking the exact same thing in your position cannot believe some of the responses on this thread!
You are not being precious at all!
I think you need to find out if your suspicions are true so I agree with other posters who say to call say you're worried about baby so going dr and need to check what baby drank/ate while in her care.
You really are not being unreasonable in the slightest doing this I'm so cross on your behalf op

To be honest, OP, even if she did feed your DD formula, it doesn't mean you will start to use formula any earlier than you would have, anyway. It's not like your DD will suddenly get a taste for formula, after one bottle, and go off breastfeeding altogether.

I think it's unlikely she did what you suspect, but even if she did, I can't see there's any harm done. (It's true that there could have been if your DD had some kind of allergy to the formula used, but you'd know that by now.)

Remember, even when your DD is completely weaned from the breast, you still get to say how often she can stay there, and from what age, and for how long. It's not a slippery slope to you being forced to do it.

And what if she comes out with "ha! I gave her formula, and she was fine, so now I can babysit all the time!" Then, you would be perfectly within your rights to say that, as she has shown she does not respect your wishes, you are not happy for her to babysit. So, she would just be shooting herself in the foot.

Having said all that, I am always very suspicious of my MIL's motives, as she is certainly one to play games. (Think changing her will to try to get me and DH to split up.) So I appreciate that this may be the case with you. But you just don't have enough evidence on this occasion that she did what you suspect, so you could just come across as unreasonable and unhinged if you try to make something of it.

I too think your evidence is a bit flimsy. I combo fed formula and expressed milk (couldn't directly breastfeed) and neither gave greasy bottles. The major difference was the smell of the milk and the smell of the poos.

That said, if she has given formula against your wishes then you have every right to be cross about it. The thing is, you don't know if she has (and I can't see why she would bother going to the trouble if you gave her ebm) and without accusing her and her admitting it, you are never going to know.

You either trust her to look after the baby or you don't. Clearly you don't, so I can only advise that you don't ask her to look after DC again.

As an aside, I find it confusing that you are weaning early and then getting all stressed about possible formula? It's not as if the baby is exclusively breast-fed now anyway.

steve if it helps I use aldi washing up liquid what formula do you use?

I use cow and gate and have never ever had a greasy bottle. I could leave a bottle all day and wash and it wouldn't be greasy.

I cold water sterilise with Milton if that helps.

Thanks milky I use aptimal (the silver one) and steam sterilise. I've never tried Milton but maybe that would help. And I love Aldi so I'll definitely try that washing up liquid!

I can wash, wash and rewash the bottles and they are almost always greasy.

For me it just seems a really large leap. Greasy bottle, no poop, must have had formula? I get that mil has form and has gone on about formula but still it's a big ole leap to think she's done this.

If she had I would be livid, but I think I would need more to go on, like a tub of formula at mil's or her telling me she had.

I would say it is more like teething baby, refusing milk ergo no poo. Simples!

How strange steve!

Yeah give it a go at first I thought ergh this is watery ( it is thinner than fairy) but it's bubblier I think haha!

YY squgirl, just because a baby reacts that way with the parent, does not mean she does with other people. She was in a different environment looked after by different people, teething, is enough to throw a baby off. I would keep quiet.

My DM did that. She had a tub of formula by the time I was out of hospital and appeared at my bedroom door every night feed to say she thought I wasn't coping and was I sure I didn't want her to take him and give him a bottle. She "kindly" bought me a breast pump three days after he was born and supervised while I tried in vain to pump (I had no idea that my milk wouldn't have come in properly yet, I was 15 ) until blood came out of my nipples.

Eventually after a whole week of my standing my ground I got out of the bath one day to find her curled up on the sofa with him half way through a bottle of SMA.
He was starving apparently. My milk obviously wasn't enough.

Breast feeding means baby needs to be close to mum. Some relatives feel excluded or like they don't get enough time with the baby, most of them are reasonable enough to control those feelings though. My MIL I could tell was itching to feed the baby, couldn't wait to have over nights but she wouldn't have dreamed of trying to interfere with feeding. I'll never forget her face when I stopped BF and handed her baby and bottle, it was glorious

If you don't know for sure whether formula was given its hard to do much really. You could ask her if anything of note was different when she had DD as she's very constipated and see if she volunteers anything. Otherwise I think you just have to figure out whether you trust her or not.
It's not on for anyone to be making snippy comments about free baby sitting, OP has made clear the GM is desperate to have the baby whenever she can. It's not a favour!

To be fair, I would be livid if my mother or MIL gave formula against my wishes to my child.
Just ask her about what she ate yesterday and be open & honest