suspect MIL has give bf DD formula

[s098]

Sorry for the rant but need to get it out!
Yesterday me and my OH had a day out and left our nearly 6 month old Dd with OH's mum. She's always made hints about me changing to formula from breastfeeding and always hint s about lookimg after dd more when shes on solids/ formula.
We were gone from about 9.30 am till 5pm and MIL made out like dd had been unsettled due to teething ( which is probably true) but that she didn't want much milk. I thought there was still alot of the expressed milk left when we picked dd up ( she had probably had one feeds worth!!) amd today she hasn't pooed at all which is very unlike her, its normally atleast twice a day! I've also noticed the bottle she'd used is greasy inside which has never happened with the breastmilk.
Now sat here feeling really annoyed if she has done that, she's got no reason to to it. Dd is happy on breastmilk and its my choice when i change to formula!
What would everyone else do in this situation? There's no way i cam prove anything but im pretty certain! MIL also gave her grandson a dummy when his parents are against them so this adds to my suspicion!

It should absolutely be your choice if/when you introduce formula, but I think you're going to have to let this go because you don't have proof.

I mix fed mine and don't remember any greasy bottles.

Treats at grandparents house is fine but to change a 5 month olds diet without permission?!

I found if I left BM in bottles for a while it was a bit greasy. You have to get your information correct.

I'd ask her. I bf'd both my babies and I've nothing against formula but u should be clear with her. There's nothing wrong with asking her not to give it. Your baby your choice.

I think it would be pretty obvious from her nappies.

The day we switched to formula, poos changed entirely.

Of course it's not fine!! No grandparent worth their salt would unilaterally change their 5 month old's diet - hugely disrespectful.

I don't think you have to go in hard with the accusations but you're quite within your rights to ask the question.

Go gently, I don't think it's worth potentially ruining a Grandparent's relationship with their grandchild over a bottle of formula, whether real or suspected. I would urge you to look at the longer term picture.

I did think it was probably the breast milk at first but the other bottle i sent with milk in was fine and I've never noticed it with expressed milk at all

I have to say you sound a little bit irrational.

My DD wouldn't take a bottle of brestmilk at six months from my mother because she was missing me and refused it.
Is it possible your daughter was upset and just waiting for you and your boob to get home?
Doesn't seem like you have a sound case tbh

S098. Some posts are better just ignored.

Did you smell the bottle? I'm guessing not or you'd have said. Shame really, there's a huge difference in the smell.

Because you can't be sure and DD has started on purées I'd let it go, but if I didn't trust her, I wouldn't leave DD with her again. It's one thing to give a 2 yo a sneaky biscuit, it's quite another to give a 5month old formula.

If I knew I'd tell her in no uncertain terms that it's a total betrayal of my trust and as I can't trust her DD will not be going to visit alone. Feeding a small baby something they don't normally have IS a huge betrayal of trust,

Why on earth would your MIL chose to give your baby formula when you had provided bottled breast milk? I think you are being precious and to be honest if I was your MIL and you accused me of this I would be very upset and you would lose a family babysitter as clearly you didn't trust me to output hike first.

Trust me to put baby first.

why on earth would she bother when expressed milk is there ready??

This isn't like a grandparent feeding their DGC whatever they are cooking for lunch anyway rather than sticking to the parents' strict food rules, the grandmother, having been told she'd be left with appropriate milk for a baby that's pretty much exclusively consuming milk, going out and buying formula milk and deliberately providing that instead of the milk the parents left.

It is no way comparable to grandparents letting older DGC eat chocolate buttons before lunch or watch TV, unless you view formula milk as a 'treat' in comparassion to breast milk. This isn't about trying to 'spoil' the grandchild, but undermine the mother.

I would ask what she ate, just say she's constipated and you're trying to work out if it was something she ate or if she's just reacted badly to being away from you.

Then lesson learned, you know your MIL won't care for your DC in the way you would like. So she doesn't get to have DGC alone until considerably older. Childcare you can't trust isn't a help, it's stressful. Granny is someone who gets visited with Mummy or Daddy there too, regardless of if she'd like time alone with DGD.

Maybe the bottle was greasy because she washed it in water that has had something greasy in it first. Formula never made my bottles greasy.

The OP has explained why her MIL wants her to switch to formula

Um atsea1979 this is a 5mo! The GPs do not get a say in how baby is fed!
The baby is bf, it stays bf until its parents decide to change that!

YANBU at all, but she IS.
GP's house, GP's rules is all very well if GP is honest about what the rules will be - but not if they are dishonest. Also a big difference between messing up the diet of a 6 month old baby and DCs "a few years older"

My BM always made bottles feel greasy inside unless I washed with detergent straightaway.

My DS would not take a bottle from anyone other than me or DH. It annoyed me when family wanted to "have a go" at feeding him. My DH and I had so many arguments as he used to allow his DB and DSILs to pass him around with the bottle, he'd be hungry but not take anything until he came back to us. Maybe this is similar and she only took milk when she was very, very hungry and therefore didn't have as much as usual?

oh but agree, there's a good chance your DD just refused the bottle and MIL washed it up badly.

Call, say she's constipated and you are trying to work out what's caused it, see what MIL says. (It could be DD was fussing and not 100% well for MIL so off her milk)

You'd have noticed the smell of it was formula and also the nappies would smell different.

You sound a bit paranoid. If you genuinely suspect she threw away your breast milk and used previously bought formula, then you don't trust her enough to let her babysit.

I'm not sure your baby would have taken the formula either if she's been exclusively bf.

My bottles always looked greasy after ebm. It has a much higher fat content. Lots of babies refuse bottles/cups of ebm when they're used to bf. You'll probably see lots of threads about mum's returning to work and babies having day/night reversal where they'll refuse to feed when mum is away and then want to feed more at night.
It's probably best just to ask outright if it's bothering you.

On the why would she give formula, my MIL was adamant that formula was better for babies because it was tested by scientists and the adverts wouldn't lie and say it's good for them (I kid you not, this is one of the reasons dd wasn't left with family!)