Is it me or is it highly irritating when playdates...

[emkana]

...are difficult about food.

dd2 had friend here for lunch. I had put a sandwich and some cucumber on her plate.

"I don't like cucumber."
says friend.

"Okay" says I "what about cherry tomatoes?"
"I don't like cherry tomatoes."

"What about apple?"
"I don't like apple."

"What do you like then, what can I get you?"
Silence....

I had some vegetable soup and she asked if she could have some. Yes of course I said, put some in bowl for her. She poked around it. "What's the yellow stuff?" "Sweetcorn." "What's those lumps?" "Potato." She put some in her mouth then spat it out again... and declared she didn't want it.

Grrr.

no it's not just you!

After some years of experiencing this with 3 dd's and their friends coming to tea, I have given up on giving them a home made dinner that we normally eat because they're all so different. Some will love a shepherds or fish pie,and others turn up their nose up,even at home made pizza!!I compromise with a ready bought pizza or chicken goujons but then have lots of salad stuff and crudites on table and welcomed veggies like corn on the cob so even if they dont eat them, I know my kids will.
We made pizza one day with their friends, kneading the dough, fresh sauce and did all the toppings. Pulled them out of the oven to hear squeals of delight and they started tucking in when a voice pops up saying " I dont like pizza !" grrrr Luckily had a bit of leftover pasta to serve up quickly but no more, no more, no more..

I too have given up with children coming for tea, and usually end up dishing up fish fingers, I did try fish fingers and potaoes once, but no, the playdate didn't like potatoes, or sweetcorn or carrots or peas or beans, or spaghetti hoops, pasta, rice or anything i suggested, so i gave him two fish fingers and some bread.
"I don't like bread" was the response.
My two are pretty good eaters so find it hard when other children come who won't eat.
I have similar problems with my mindees. The older ones won't eat my snacks"
They don't like
Fruit, breadsticks, carrots, cucumber, cracker biscuits, cheese, cheese spread, jam, toast (because i have best of both bread and not white). They do however like crisps and biscuits

Spaghetti. Every time. I'm known for it.

i don't offer alternatives. if they don't like what's on offer i just say, oh i'm sorry we don't have anything else. but i usually try and check with a parent beforehand what will go down well...

No I don't get irritated, I don't care.

They're not my kids, I just give 'em whatever emergency processed shite I've got in the house so my precious children aren't polluted by it.

I think it would be more irritating if it influenced your own kids though. DD is just getting to the age where if Maisie says she doesn't like sweetcorn, DD will say she doesn't. That's when I will start getting very irritated by it.

One of dd's friends will only eat fish fingers, carrots and apples. And the apples have to be green. I tend to ask the parents beforehand what they will eat, though, so at least I was prepared!

What I found even sadder, though, was the friend who came round for tea who didn't know what pasta or raspberries were.

sausages, mash beans or veg here, obviously proper sausages. It always goes down well.

Last time I tried something different it was rejected, so stuff it bangers and mash again.

I know what you mean - I wonder what some of them survive on.

Not impressed about the spitting things out. I find I have to do the 'clenched smile' in those situations but my eagle eyed lot wait with baited breath because no way would I let them get away with it.

I like Bossykate's approach ! Just starting on the playdate thing with my 4th child (ds3 age 3). Certainly I never would offer loads of choices; just gives the fussy eater too much power imho. Having checked with the parents beforehand, I offer a simple meal, and if it's rejected they can have yogurt and/or fruit, or not... It's not like they're away from their own homes for too long; their own parent or carer can fill the gap later, surely ? All they want to do is play anyway so I don't worry about the food.

i sit them down on a little table in the playroom and leave them to it

if they don't eat it I just take it away

I'm not their mum

I have created one of these little monsters...my ds age 3 sometimes does this at other people's houses. It's mortifying to hear about it. I always say before he goes for a playdate now, if he won't eat your food, he gets no pudding and no alternatives. Unfortunately he has been known to whine and sulk when told this

He is a 3 yo control freak and gets weird when things look different. I have had hell getting him to eat a varied diet but at home he is just about OK because he knows the kinds of food I am likely to provide. Argh, the shame.

Just let her have the sandwich, then, and save yourself the irritation!

Agree with BK.

Most children, ime, are a bit resistant to food which is unusual to them, or different from how it is served at home. Yours too - you never know!

Just assume they have a different variety of foods at home.

hijack blu did you get my CAT?

have you seen my pic yet?

Normally check with parent, then offer a choice to visiting child. Failing that - sausages - never met a child yet who doesn't like them - from my lovley local butcher of course.
Or be really naughty and take them too macdonalds

Spag Bol always seems to go down well too

It's not just the young ones...

Me to DD's 11 yo friend: Do you like spaghetti bolognaise
Friend: Yes, I love it.

Me: Umm, is there something wrong with your dinner?

Friend: Oh, I don't like onions.
Me: Doesn't your mother put onions in spag bol?
Friend: Umm, I think so, but I can't see them like I can see your ones.

DD: Oh X doesn't like Tomatoes?
Me: Huh? I thought you liked spag bol?
Friend: Oh I do, it's just that I don't like the big bits of tomatoes. I only like it when it's smooth.

FFS.

twelveyeargap

I've had that with spag bol so now i use magic bullet given to me by MIL to whizz it up into smooth paste that looks bit like smooth poop BUT no complaints from anyone!

May try that next time! (Sounds vile, I have to say, but I guess I can just do hers!)

I was thinking about posting the exact same thread last week. DD1 has one friend who has eaten the same dinner every night for the past three years (and it's something bizarre which my kids and any sane person would balk at) and will not eat meat, fish, vegetables, rice the list is endless. Another wouldn't eat the pizza because it had pepperoni on it (even though I'd picked it off!). I'm giving up - they can have chicken nuggets - not that many playdates so as to cause problem for my dcs and its not my responsibility to educate someone else dcs re food.

It's a bit frustrating when you've asked the friend what they'd like, and made it, and they reject it.

Ds (2.7) had friend over this morning and for lunch. I usually cook fish fingers, noodles and broccoli (my "usual" for playdates, having checked it's generally a universal hit), but today broke with tradition. Silly me.

Asked dear guest what he'd like out of two choices. "Pizza!" was the excited jumping-and-down response. We made toastie pizzas, and the two boys chose their vegetable toppings and put their cheese on. Ds ate most of his. Dear guest ate less than could be called a nibble. Sigh.

I do accept that, in little kids especially, there's a fairly common wariness of unfamiliar food. So I do offer one alternative. If that's rejected, then I kind of figure they're not hungry enough.

A bit astounding that an 11-year-old can be anti chunks of tomato and visible onion. Blimey. Mind you, I know a (lovely) grown woman like that .

I've lost count of the amount of times another friend has told me that her pre-school son will eat anything and is a super eater. And I've never seen him to be! He recently came over with Mum for tea and, after eating sweets on the way, ate only one mouthful of the very meal he had requested .

Hmph.

Why on earth do you get bothered by this. We all knwo that some parents don't feed their kids as well as we on MN feed our little treasures so why put yourselves through the hardship, keep it simple and fun and ensure that the kids want to come again instead of rememebering your house as the one where they were forced to justify why they didn't like something.

i too have given up (really am trying) worrying. it is a bit disheartening when your own children love your pasta, soup, etc., and their friends leave half of it! but i spose when i first gave my own my home made soup it did take several attempts before they truely loved it

bandstand, it's even more disheartening when your own child won't eat your lovely homemade food but the playdate child tucks in