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Parenting

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Original poster

Not enjoying the newborn stage

55 replies

Glittered · 06/07/2016 14:13

So does anyone else not enjoy a newborn?
I have a 5 week old dd who I love to bits but I just don't enjoy this stage. I was the same with dd1 who us now 4 years. I didn't start enjoying her until she was 5 months onwards. First time around it was such a shock being a new mum plus she had colic that I almost didn't have anymore. But as time went on I enjoyed being a mum more and more.
At the moment I just feel like I'm a feeding burping rocking machine and feel like I'm neglecting my 4 year old.
I know it will get better but I just want time to hurry up. We aren't in any kind of routine which is to be expected at this stage but I can't wait until she's a toddler. Some people may think I'm mad but I like interacting more. Plus it will be nice when I can take them both to the park etc. right now I'm scared to go anywhere with the two of them without dh to lend a hand.

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SnotGoblin · 06/07/2016 14:15

I really enjoy the newborn stage but struggle with toddlers so I think everyone has their favoured stage/age and struggles at some point. The good news is that if you don't like the newborn stage, it isn't very long. Good luck riding the storm until then. Plus congratulations etc .

Sun16 · 06/07/2016 14:17

I'm the same. On the one hand I loved mine as newborns so much but it was such a fraught kind of love, so full-on, all give and no take. Both times for me the anxiety started lifting once they were on solids and at about 13 months life got so much better.

Lovelongweekends · 06/07/2016 14:19

I'm with you, I'm really not a fan of the newborn stage - I find it gets better from about 4 months and I absolutely love the toddler stage!

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HubrisComicGhoul · 06/07/2016 14:23

Me! Newborn's bore the hell out of me, I never understood going to see "the baby" when one was born, I much prefer children I can interact with and ignore the baby in favour of playing with the older children, who are more interesting and often feeling a little left out

NarcyCow · 06/07/2016 14:54

The cuddles are gorgeous, and just watching them sleep, but having them fulltime is relentless and hard. I'll enjoy grandparenting newborns, I think, but parenting them wasn't my favourite phase, at all.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 06/07/2016 15:02

I did not like the newborn stage, nor the toddler stage. In fact, just as kids get interesting and a less feral, they go to school.😅 All your hard work is reaped by the teachers. 😉😃

splendide · 06/07/2016 15:11

I haaaaaaaaated having a newborn. I started enjoying DS from about 9/10 months - he's 20 months now and I love it.

Dairybanrion · 06/07/2016 15:12

I find newborn stage very hard. Yes they're cute etc. But their cries! The tiny bottoms are gorgeous, but the worrying over farts etc. 6 months on, that's better. They can sit up, and look around. And eat!

welshweasel · 06/07/2016 15:14

Yep, utterly relentless and often very tedious. I went back to work! Much better from 4ish months onwards.

skankingpiglet · 06/07/2016 15:16

The cuddles are the only good bit.

I have a 2 week old and a 2.1yo. I've written off the rest of the year tbh as the memory of just how much of a slog those first few months are is still fresh, if things improve before then I'll consider it a bonus. I always wanted two children, but have never been excited by the prospect of babies. I hate being pregnant too. I'm aware it makes me sound like a right miserable fucker to others, but it's the truth. I find the absolute dependency quite suffocating at times also.
DD1 is mostly a joy to be around now ('mostly' as she is a toddler after all, and can be infuriating at times!). She can express herself fairly well, do a fair bit for herself, and is smart and funny.
I wouldn't not have the newborn months, as I think conquering all that adversity is part of what builds the bond with them, but it doesn't mean I need to enjoy it!

YY to looking forward to being a grandparent of babies!

Cocolocos · 07/07/2016 10:39

Me! I am only just starting to enjoy her at 7 months. I hated the first 3 months of screaming colicky days, and spent a lot of time wondering if I had made a mistake in having a child. Sounds awful, but true. I am having more fun now that she is interacting more. I reckon it will get even more interesting when she can speak. When I tell people they look at me like

Original poster

Glittered · 07/07/2016 10:51

That's exactly how I feel, it's the crying that does my head in plus both of my girls are sooo loud! I like it when they get a bit older and I can understand a bit more what they want. I have learnt from my first though that they often cry from being overtired. With my first I would be panicking coz she wasn't wet, wasn't hungry and didn't seem unwell. Until it dawned on me she was fighting sleep.
I want time to hurry up so much, dd2 won't even go to her dad at the moment and I long for a time when I can leave her with him for a couple hours while I maybe spend a bit of time with dd1 who has had me all to herself for 4 years. I've promised her it will get easier, although she actually doesn't seem that bothered and is in love with baby sister. She dying for her to interact a bit though.
I shouldn't wish time away I know this as maternity will be over all too soon.

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Cocolocos · 07/07/2016 11:05

I know - I just realised that I'll be back at work in 4 months, and have spent the last 6 months wishing for time to pass. I feel awful about that, but it's largely due to society's expectations that this is such a "magical, wonderful time", which adds to the guilt. You will get there, and you are doing a great job I'm sure

Millionprammiles · 07/07/2016 13:33

Its not physically possible to enjoy the newborn age unless you have a baby that sleeps peacefully (for 18 out of 24 hours and only wakes twice at night), feeds easily, is perfectly healthy and you have ample help from GPs.

For the remaining 97% of the population its varying degrees of exhaustion, tedium and despair.
Its over before you know it though.

ninenicknames · 07/07/2016 13:46

I HATED the entire first 6 months.

I am not ashamed either to say it.

icklekid · 07/07/2016 13:52

Yep pregnant with dc2 and having a horrific pregnancy. Everyone keeps saying bet you can't wait for the baby however I'm dreading first few months. Life was very tough (colic and pnd) for first 3 months, started to get a bit more managable between then and 6 months. After 6 months definitely started to actually enjoy is. Ds is 2 now and so much fun I'm hoping he will distract me through the newborn stage!

SnakeWitch · 07/07/2016 13:53

Newborns are definitely overrated Both DH and I disliked it intensely both times, we prefer actual children. Nothing on earth could convince me to do those first 6 months again!

Original poster

Glittered · 07/07/2016 14:02

Yep not doing it again either!
I joked the other night to dh about trying for a boy next time...his answer? Well you'd have to be off your head to do it again

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nightandthelight · 07/07/2016 20:45

Definitely did not enjoy the newborn stage, still find it pretty tough at 5 months but it is improving. Seems I am just not a baby person. I think the main issue for me now is sleep deprivation. Can't wait for when DS sleeps through. Also looking forward to when he is on solids :)

mypropertea · 07/07/2016 20:52

Another person who isn't a fan and f the grub stage. I loved dc but didn't like them till they were at least 7 months.

Terrifiedandregretful · 07/07/2016 23:08

I hated the newborn stage beyond all hatred. Breastfeeding pain, no sleep, no sense of day and night just pain and screaming (me and dd...) Things got a bit easier after 4 months but I didn't start to enjoy parenting until dd was about 10 months and became interesting. Now she is 2.5 and I love it so much I want to freeze time! No way will I have another I couldn't bear to do the first year again.

Binglesplodge · 07/07/2016 23:13

Utterly hated the first 6 months. The next 6 were only slightly better. DS is now 20 months and it's like night and day. Some people don't like the newborn stage. Some babies don't like being babies. To my mind they get way better as they become more human and interactive. You'll get there: it's totally fine to grit your teeth and wait for the fun to start.

LotisBlue · 07/07/2016 23:13

The best bit is from about six months when they can sit and play with toys. Then at about 18 months they learn to say 'no' and it starts to go downhill again

JinkxMonsoon · 07/07/2016 23:15

It sucks. So glad I never have to do it again. Newborns are sweet to look at, but I never want one ever again

BennyTheBall · 07/07/2016 23:19

I look back on it with fondness - but in reality it's pretty awful.

You couldn't pay me to go back to that awful knackerdness.

They are a delight from about 6 months, imo.

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