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Parenting

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Original poster

Not enjoying the newborn stage

55 replies

Glittered · 06/07/2016 14:13

So does anyone else not enjoy a newborn?
I have a 5 week old dd who I love to bits but I just don't enjoy this stage. I was the same with dd1 who us now 4 years. I didn't start enjoying her until she was 5 months onwards. First time around it was such a shock being a new mum plus she had colic that I almost didn't have anymore. But as time went on I enjoyed being a mum more and more.
At the moment I just feel like I'm a feeding burping rocking machine and feel like I'm neglecting my 4 year old.
I know it will get better but I just want time to hurry up. We aren't in any kind of routine which is to be expected at this stage but I can't wait until she's a toddler. Some people may think I'm mad but I like interacting more. Plus it will be nice when I can take them both to the park etc. right now I'm scared to go anywhere with the two of them without dh to lend a hand.

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Raaaaaah · 07/07/2016 23:26

I only realise how much I don't enjoy it when they turn 4 months and I really start to enjoy them. Our third is now 5 months and it's like a light has switched on. She is so blooming adorable. I have really noticed how other people respond to her now she is smiling and really engaging with them. I think everyone gets more enjoyment from them. I always feel like I am walking on eggshells when they are tiny as they are so unpredictable and I find that quite stressful.

Raaaaaah · 07/07/2016 23:28

Oh and OP my elder two are now really smitten with her and she with them. Until last month I think she was a bit of a dissapointment for them . This makes such a difference as it reassures you that you have not turned their world upside down for no good reason.

ridiculouspirate · 07/07/2016 23:48

My third is only just becoming a little toddler. It's all been too fast again. I bloody love newborns even though it's totally relentless.

Not having any more though. :(

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SnotGoblin · 08/07/2016 08:45

I have a 13 month old and a 3 year old to trade for a couple of newborns. We can swap back in six months to a year .

splendide · 08/07/2016 08:51

See I would totally take that swap! I love little toddlers - don't have any experience of three year olds yet though...

hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 17:11

My DS has only just turned 4 months but I think he was much easier as a newborn - he just slept the whole time!

I'm lazy - I'm very worried about the toddler stage!!

Vlier · 08/07/2016 17:40

One of my cousins took months to bond with the baby because she was colic and a colleague didn't like hers till the baby laughed really loud one day.

You're doing fine, don't worry about it. You will probably like her in a coupke of months just like your first.

I strongly dislike two year olds.

Trulyyou · 08/07/2016 17:40

I loked the newborn bit. You say you'd like to leave her with your DH so you can spend time with your dd1. Well why didn't you? You could express. Or leave a bottle of formula.

I truly believe that you need to do what's best for your family. I enjoyed my babies because I could leave them and because I could still spend time with the older ones. I think if I'd been tied it may have been different.

ittooshallpass · 08/07/2016 18:43

I loved the newborn stage... but I was totally spoilt and had a baby that slept 20 hours out of every 24. No sleepless nights or crying. Loads of cuddles. Easy peasy! Lol...

Amy214 · 08/07/2016 18:46

I hated the newborn stage, it was tiring and boring. I hated the night feeds (im a single mum so i couldn't ask for a partner to help) i hated worrying about the poo explosions. I liked it much better when dd could eat the same foods as me and when things got more predictable. I love the toddler stage its so different, everyday has its challanges but there is a routine that we both like and get on well with. But i find myself looking at her newborn photos and thinking to myself 'aww i miss dd being that tiny' but i don't think i could handle another child

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 08/07/2016 22:32

Me.

DD is two and I absolutely love it. Give me screaming tantrums in every public place imaginable over the total stress and fear (and boredom) of newborns any day.

kiki22 · 08/07/2016 23:58

I remember being pregnant with ds1 and saying I don't really like little babies everyone told me id feel different about my own, I didn't he was a mix of hard work and deathly boring until he was more responsive then with every mile stone he got better. He's 4 now and without a doubt my favourite person on the planet.

I'm expecting the same with ds2 due in Aug I will love him to death but I doubt ill enjoy him until he's big enough to at least give me a smile.

DarkDarkNight · 08/07/2016 23:59

I felt absolutely overwhelmed by the newborn stage. My baby had feeding problems, reflux and was generally very unsettled (purple crying). I hated myself for 'failing' at breastfeeding and just not coping very well with the constant feeding and screaming. One of my strongest memories is my dad just holding him and walking up and down with him constantly to calm him.

That being said I couldn't stop staring at him, I couldn't believe he was mine. The idea I may never have another really upsets me. Although I hope I get a more laid back baby if I ever have another!

AndroidAddict · 09/07/2016 00:26

I hated the newborn stage, esp with dd. I look at prego women now and think, "Thank fuck that's not me!"
Mine are 4&5 now and, in theory, are much better able to look after themselves and are much more fun. I look forward to spending time with them.

MessyBun247 · 09/07/2016 07:37

Me!!

My DD is 5.5 months now and I'm just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

The first 6 months is just too much anxiety for me. Although there are some lovely precious moments of course, I'm very glad I won't be going through it again.

DDs personality is starting to shine through, she's more robust, cries a lot less and is taking interest in everything around her. The future is starting to look a lot brighter

OrlasVelvetBand · 09/07/2016 11:25

It's overwhelming and all consuming but I did love it. Agree with pp about us being more suited, temperamentally, to different ages and stages. My neighbour was a natural with toddlers but struggled with the baby phase and said if she had any more she'd give them to me for the first six months. OTOH, I found toddlerhood more challenging as I'm not great with structure day in day out but am very adaptable so may be that helped with the baby stage.

Things like colic can make a big difference, dc2 had it most evenings - don't know how anyone would cope with it round the clock.

Sootica · 09/07/2016 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CruCru · 09/07/2016 13:22

This will get better. I find tiny babies rather ghastly but now have a four and a two year old, which is awesome.

I sometimes think there are two types of people - those who look at someone with a newborn and feel envy and those who feel pity. I feel pity.

Original poster

Glittered · 09/07/2016 16:50

Wow so many of us with the same feelings!
Someone said why don't I leave dh with her yet with a bottle? Well yes I see your point but I was combi feeding her but we were having an awful time with her with wind and projectile vomitting everytime j gave her a bottle, I decided 10 days ago to just try breastfeeding for a couple days before rushing to the gp for maybe reflux and guess what I now I have a happy content baby, passes wind much better and no more vomitting except the odd bit of spit up. So I'm goin to breastfeed until I feel like trying formula again at 10 to 12 weeks, I did consider dairy intolerance but I eat and drink plenty of dairy so it can't be that? I spoke to dh yesterday about how I worry about dd1 and he said she looks happy enough to him but he said I should just concentrate on dd2 for next few weeks and he will pick up the slack with dd1. To be fair she's a real daddies girl anyway. So he's really supportive. With dd1 she wasn't keen on him as a tiny baby either but once she was walking (tuning off in every direction) he really took over and did all the running around. And I got a bit of rest lol

OP posts:

Original poster

Glittered · 09/07/2016 16:51

Oh and the formula I was giving her was cow and gate so many that just didn't sit well with her? I didn't try a different brand. Any suggestions???

OP posts:

ifcatscouldtalk · 09/07/2016 17:09

I wonder why when so many of us don't adore the new born stage that in RL no one ever says so? I did have pnd but even so walking, talking little people are much more up my street.

ifcatscouldtalk · 09/07/2016 17:14

cru cru I love your theory on 2 types of people. I think your right. .

crayfish · 09/07/2016 17:17

I didn't enjoy it. I loved DS but I felt a bit like I had a very needy pet to be honest. There is such a lot of input required in the early days, and you really don't get much back.

DS started to be much more fun from about 6 months when he became more interactive and now he's nearly one I am really enjoying him. He's like a proper person now and he's such a lot of fun. Little babies (including him) are kind of boring...

I think to be fair, I always imagined myself with a child rather than a baby.

skankingpiglet · 10/07/2016 11:22

I've said it RL ifcats, and I've been thrown really dirty looks for it. I think people are of the opinion 'well you wanted it, why have a baby then?!' as if they don't realise that a lot people don't get pregnant to have a baby, they get pregnant to have a child (or sometimes get pregnant accidentally and are just doing the best they can with their lot). The reaction has been even stronger from friends who are struggling TTC, so much so with one I just can't really talk about what's going on in my life with her as it's baby-related ATM (and pregnancy-related before that) and it's not all sunshine and rainbows, but I'm not allowed to have any negative feelings, I should just feel lucky to be where I am.

ninenicknames · 10/07/2016 13:35

Skanking you are so RIGHT!!!!

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